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Why Doesn't The Soloist Come with a Free, Environmentally-Friendly Tote Bag?


The Soloist / Dustin Rowles

Film Reviews | April 24, 2009 | Comments (118)


Most bad movies know they’re bad — it’s not always fun to pick on them, since it’s like calling Perez Hilton a cultural terrorist. He knows it, celebrates it, and greedily collects his money in spite of it. But every once in a while, a bad movie that actually thinks it’s great comes along, and it feels nice to use this little corner of the interwebs to tell that movie to pulls its nose out of the sky and put it back where it belong — halfway up its own ass. The Soloist is that kind of film - decidedly mediocre but so arrogant and confident about the intended message it’s peddling that it forgets to wrap it around some actual substance. Indeed, The Soloist is a movie designed for well-off white people who carry their NPR tote bags into the theater and assuage their liberal guilt, not by contributing to the homeless, but by giving money to a studio that hires a millionaire to pretend to be homeless. Liberal guilt properly assuaged, the well-off white person can go home, drink their Trader Joes’ wine, and watch Bride Wars without any remorse.

The Soloist is based on the real-life friendship between a schizophrenic homeless man, Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx) and an L.A. Times’ columnist, Steve Lopez (Robert Downey, Jr.), who wrote a series of columns about Ayers in 2005. Lopez, one of those human-interest columnists who waxes philosophical about his own bicycle accidents to fill copy space, discovered Ayers in Pershing Square playing a violin with only two strings. During the course of their conversation, Lopez learned that Ayers had dropped out of Julliard after two years and thus decided to make his Ayers’ struggles one of his human interest pieces. Ayers had some seriously mental illness problems, which are never entirely explained in the film, but resulted in a mental breakdown that led to his departure from Julliard (although it’s not mentioned in the film, Ayers was subsequently institutionalized and even underwent electroshock therapy). The column hit a nerve with the L.A. Times’ readership (apparently, there are a lot of NPR listeners out in L.A.), so much so that an arthritic old lady decided to give her cello to Ayers, a gesture that allowed Lopez to write another column. And then another when Lopez got Ayers in to watch a symphony rehearsal. And another when Ayers has another mental breakdown during an outdoor performance for rich white people. And another when Lopez has his own problems coping with Ayers’ idol worship of him. And then another … you get the point (Lopez would later write a book about this friendship, a book that many of your well-meaning NPR-listening parents bought you for Christmas one year. I have two unread copies sitting on my shelf.)

There’s something to be said for scriptwriter Susannah Grant’s (Catch and Release, Erin Brockovich) decision not to force the narrative into the Hollywood feel-good movie formula, but the unfortunate side effect is that The Soloist feels aimless, wandering from one point to another in Lopez’s and Ayers’ friendship without any real destination in mind. It’s flat - there’s no narrative arc, just a series of episodic events which don’t amount to much. Worse still are the numerous strands of subplot — the death of the newspaper industry, Lopez’s struggle with yard pests, the homeless problem in L.A., the pointless flashbacks into Ayers’ childhood (which reveal nothing) and the relationship between Lopez and his ex-wife (Catherine Keener) — which are introduced but never fully explored or resolved. Even as context, they add little to the story.

Unexpectedly, even the actressin’ is substandard. Jamie Foxx’s performance is most embarrassing - a series of tics and pointless stream-of-consciousness soliloquies which give the impression that Foxx isn’t inhabiting a character as much as he’s trying to earn gold statues (The Soloist was originally scheduled for release during awards season). But there’s no soul in the character — just a bad version of dead-eyed Rain Main cellist. Downey, Jr. - who is usually invigorating, lively presence even in his worst movies - sleeps through this one, drowsily miming self pity and tortured reflection, allowing his grey-flecked beard to do most of the work. Catherine Keener is a blip in the film, though she seemed like the only one who cared enough to show up, while Stephen Root - as a colleague at the L.A. Times — probably shouldn’t have, since his role was completely extraneous.

But the root of the bland mediocrity that underlies all of The Soloist (except for the occasionally moving score) is the director, Joe Wright (Atonement, Pride and Prejudice), who fritters away his assembled talent and the modest potential of the story with a large, heavy-handed ham fist that he pounds onto the table of every scene, demanding that his audience ravenously bite a chunk out of it. He turns what could’ve been a moving story about an unlikely friendship filled with beautiful music into a self-important melodrama about … about … I don’t know. The Soloist isn’t about anything, really, it just thinks that it is. And its worse sin is that it demands that its audience think it is, too. And if a movie is going to exploit my vulnerable liberal white guilt, I at least want results, a goddamn payoff of some sort, and not just an unsubtle reminder, after the movie has faded to black, that there are “90,000 homeless people living in L.A.” It’s a bummer statistic, but what it really had to do with the friendship of Ayers and Lopez, I’m not quite sure. I don’t think Joe Wright knows, either. But when you can’t create a film with real emotional truth, there’s always Wikitruth to fall back on.

The Soloist Trailer

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. You can email him or leave a comment below.


Pajiba Love 04/24/09 | Obsessed Review



Comments

Uh-oh ...

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 24, 2009 4:08 PM

Hooray! Italics are back!

Bummer about this movie. I was hoping for something to see this weekend.

Posted by: Trouble at April 24, 2009 4:09 PM

Yeah, this movie was pretty much a big (environmentally friendly) bag of meh.

Also I found the scenes that seemed to be about "the transcence of music and blah blah blah" really wanky. Seriously, images of birds flying? Yawn

Posted by: Park at April 24, 2009 4:10 PM

Well, RDJ needed some rest after his busy comeback schedule. A little sleepwalking next to an overrated actor had better have done the trick because Ironman 2 demands his best.

Posted by: Kballs at April 24, 2009 4:11 PM

Damnit. The trailer gave me the "uh-oh" feeling, but since I usually like Foxx and RDJ has just been so damned reliable of late, I held out hope that we might get a revealing look at the stigma of mental illness, as opposed to a masturbatory pat on the back to weekend social crusaders. Too bad.

Posted by: Tammy at April 24, 2009 4:12 PM

Yea, you know a film like this that's coming out now totally bombed somewhere along the way. It's got "gimme Oscar!!" written all over it.

Posted by: Monica at April 24, 2009 4:13 PM

This review pretty much sums up what I thought after seeing the trailer. This is exactly what I figured the movie would turn out to be.

Posted by: Jeni at April 24, 2009 4:15 PM

Everyone's thinking it, so I'll just say it: "Never go full retard."

Posted by: Leftylad at April 24, 2009 4:16 PM

But, but...I'm planning to see this movie between my hair appointment and seeing Tracy Morgan perform. I have time to kill people.

What the hell I'll still probably go see it, or go fawn over the laptops at the Apple store.

Posted by: DoubleH at April 24, 2009 4:19 PM

Indeed, The Soloist is a movie designed for well-off white people who carry their NPR tote bags into the theater and assuage their liberal guilt, not by contributing to the homeless, but by giving money to a studio that hires a millionaire to pretend to be homeless. Liberal guilt properly assuaged, the well-off white person can go home, drink their Trader Joes’ wine, and watch Bride Wars without any remorse.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, that pretty much describes me and all of my liberal-commie-pinko-tree-hugging friends. I'll probably end up Netflixing this one, though, so that's at least a little less money out of (not-so-well-off-and-decidedly-middle-class) me.

Posted by: Ariel at April 24, 2009 4:19 PM

this is EXACTLY why i don't like going out of my comfort zone.

i shouldn't have to ask every time, "yes, but are there zombies?"

Posted by: gp at April 24, 2009 4:19 PM

...drink their Trader Joes’ wine...

Mmmmm, 2 Buck Chuck.

(apparently, there are a lot of NPR listeners out in L.A.)

Go figure.

Posted by: Snath at April 24, 2009 4:28 PM

I just wrote this for The Brothers Bloom:

I'd pay $10 to watch Rachel Weisz read a cereal box. She's why I'll put up with watching the Mummy over and over again. But in a fantastic film? Hell, yeah.
And like many Pajibans, the same goes for RDJ. But I don't think anyone's going to even try to do the same with this cinematic turd for Downey. Far too few explosions to distract us of bad.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at April 24, 2009 4:30 PM

this review doesn't surprise me at all.
i can't stand jamie foxx.
even rdj's presence isn't enough to keep me from running the hell away from this one.
did i mention that i can't stand jamie foxx?

Posted by: gem at April 24, 2009 4:40 PM

Fuck Jamie Foxx.

Posted by: jM at April 24, 2009 4:41 PM

geez, compare this review to the one I just read on cnn and talk about opposing viewpoints.

I didn't think this was going to be great, but I have to say I get pretty ticked off at how easily people write off Foxx as an actor.
I got so pissed reading an interview with Michael Mann where he said Foxx was a great 'mimic'.

Mimic?

It's called acting, moron. It's what actors do. I didn't see you talking about what a great fucking 'mimic' Cruise was, and boy, I can tell when he's 'acting' - his face gets all intense and shit.

And now in the cnn review, the author was all up in RDJ's shit, talking about how transcendental he was, and poor Foxx was relegated to supporting role.

fuck critics.

Posted by: Stella at April 24, 2009 4:42 PM

I read some of those articles in the L A Times, and I saw the uh-oh a mile away. Of course, a movie! But Lopez was not as sentimental about it as the movie seems to be, as I recall, and I like his columns for the most part. The movie, however, I'm going to skip. I hate that sentimental crap.

Posted by: Chickaboom at April 24, 2009 4:49 PM

That review was well done. No joke. No sarcasm. Just saying I liked the review. Later.

Posted by: Beyonce Rowles (L.O.V.E.) at April 24, 2009 4:58 PM

Oscar Bait, indeed.
Does anybody else hear DJD's "advice" to Ben Stiller in Tropic Thunder in their head? It seems applicable here. From what I've seen.

Posted by: Odnon at April 24, 2009 5:08 PM

This type of movie is not my box of Junior Mints anyway, but I am not surprised to read that it is the poops. Foxx doesn't impress me and the trailers to this movie annoy me to no end.

Off topic, who gets to review Mutant Chronicles? I watched it on one of my free HD movie channels earlier this week and have been looking forward to a review ever since.
SPOILER
IT IS GLORIOUSLY TERRIBLE!
END SPOILER

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 24, 2009 5:18 PM

When I saw the preview for this in theatres, I told husband it had the potential to be mind-blowingly awful or mind-blowingly mediocre. To be fair to all the NPR-listening liberals out there, this is also the kind of movie that my super-conservative parents would go see and think terribly profound. So the shoe falls both ways, I think.

Posted by: pseudoliterati at April 24, 2009 5:20 PM

Another 100 minute movie about a black man playing a retard to win an Oscar they'll never get, it's like watching Radio all over again.

Posted by: George at April 24, 2009 5:41 PM

I first saw the preview while flicking through commercials on the DVR, and thought it was a parody movie. Looks like I wasn't too far off.

Remember when Jamie Foxx played Wanda on in Living color, that is the only way I can see him.

Posted by: Alli at April 24, 2009 6:09 PM

To add another comment: there are two places I go for movie reviews, Pajiba and Slate (well, I go to both for reasons other than just the movie reviews, but I digress). It seems Slate's got the same idea about the film as you do, in particular Foxx's "full retard." http://www.slate.com/id/2216788/

Posted by: Ariel at April 24, 2009 6:12 PM

You guys keep up the ragging on Jamie Foxx and "a black man playing a retard," you know you're just gonna provoke Guess Whookie.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 24, 2009 6:18 PM

a series of tics and pointless stream-of-consciousness soliloquies which give the impression that Foxx isn’t inhabiting a character as much as he’s trying to earn gold statues

If I'm understanding the trailers correctly, he did the smart thing and went half-retard. This character is Shine, not I Am Sam -- he's mentally ill, but all he needs is a little friendship and understanding, then everything will be all right! Then RDJ won't have the discomfort of having a slobbering mongoloid with an inappropriate erection at his next NPR-fundraiser dinner; it'll just be that celloist who went through the unfortunate "episode."

And you just know RDJ said that line to him at some point during filming. Then Jamie Foxx was whispering to himself every night, "half retard = oscar, half retard = oscar."

Did anyone else read the articles yesterday about how Jamie Foxx is such a fucking jagoff that he claimed he "got too into the character, too close to the emotional illness, and had to get therapy to come out of it." This is the same assclown who was outed by a club DJ for sending his handlers to tell the DJ to beg Jamie Foxx to come handle the DJ'ing.

Jamie Foxx is a fucking-A toolbelt shitbag.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 24, 2009 6:27 PM

Yeah, after watching the trailer some time ago I thought this might didn't look so great. Jamie Fox's performance looked so, well, "full retard"...kind of how Rosie did it in the driving with my sister movie, or whatever it was called.

On another note, NPR is for middle class liberal, white guilt liberals? really?

Posted by: Mike at April 24, 2009 6:39 PM

Radio, I Am Sam, and this. The latest in the "Oh, you lovable retard you!" genre. Sorry, but I have no interest in OscarPorn.

Posted by: spazmodeas at April 24, 2009 6:56 PM

I can't believe Jamie Foxx has an Oscar. Someone go take that back, now.

Posted by: figgy at April 24, 2009 6:59 PM

Being new to this site affords me the opportunity to sit back in relative obscurity and read all the post before I post my two cents. I had high hopes for this film mainly because I thought it would lead Foxx to his second Oscar. As far as “White liberal guilt” goes, I think I’m going to stay out of that fight and sit and enjoy reading the post of our many pseudo sociologists as they discuss the racial implications of this film.

Posted by: Guess who! at April 24, 2009 7:07 PM

Off topic: Please immediately post the review for Obsessed. I want lots of details. It looks like this could be the movie that gets Beyonce her Oscar nomination!

Posted by: greer at April 24, 2009 7:43 PM

Socalled, I saw the interview that Jamie Foxx gave with Robin Roberts this morning on GMA where he talked about that therapy bullshit. I didn't know whether to laugh or throw my stiletto (shoe, not knife) through the TV.

Foxx didn't have to spend what I'm sure amounted to $1000s on therapy - one of us would have offered to kick some sense into his ass for free.

Posted by: stardust savant at April 24, 2009 8:03 PM

the interview that Jamie Foxx gave with Robin Roberts this morning on GMA where he talked about that therapy bullshit

Do you suppose he was born like that, or was an asshole as a child, or is it the money and success that turned him into a shitheel? I don't even like Miley Cyrus, but that thing where he was going after her on his assbag radio program was yet another in the long line of examples of Jamie Foxx being a complete fucktaste. He's basically the male Rainbow Killer.

I'm all about the hate this week. Weird.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 24, 2009 8:31 PM

This movie was so predictable, boo hoo, genius black man, boo hoo, douche liberal guilt ridden white smarty pants, boo hoo, white man makes good for black man....booooring!
Snooze fest to the max....

Posted by: ibs at April 24, 2009 9:06 PM

My daughter has a friend who plays the cello, and she invited her to go see this movie. When I asked why a 13 y.o. girl thought this movie was going to be interesting, I was told because it sounded like The Pursuit of Happyness, and she loved that movie.

Yup. I think that sums it up right there.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 24, 2009 9:07 PM

Oh, and speaking as a Trader Joe wine-drinking, NPR-listening white liberal? I've no use for this movie, but my conservative Republican friend will be chomping at the bit to see it. She loves inspiring stories...proof that you don't need a helping hand from the government.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 24, 2009 9:11 PM

Exactly, Pursuit of Happynes, etc etc.
just insert Cuba Gooding Jr., Will Smith, Barack Obama,,or any other honky friendly black man..

Makes me long for Samuel L. Jackson to tell RDJ to get off his motherfucking curb before he kicks his motherfucking ass...

Posted by: ibs at April 24, 2009 9:12 PM

Thank you, Wednesday, I was going to have to lay down some law on all that NPR hate. I listen to NPR, in fact I work at a public radio station and I pegged this as crap the first time I saw the trailer. All my friends that spend their days listening to anything anybody else tells them is cool? They are going to loooove this movie.

Posted by: the_wakeful at April 24, 2009 10:38 PM

Do you suppose he was born like that, or was an asshole as a child, or is it the money and success that turned him into a shitheel?

I think born is way too kind a word. Inflicted upon this world I think describes it best. And can I choose Option D - all of the above?

Posted by: stardust savant at April 24, 2009 11:04 PM

This whole movie had "Crash 2: White Guilt Boogaloo" written all over it. It's giving me the fear that my cousin, who told me that people don't understand racism but they would if they saw "Crash" (she called it one of the best movies of our time), will whip this one out when I next sees her. "People are so ignorant about homelessness and mental illness, they should see 'The Soloist'!"

Posted by: Meg at April 24, 2009 11:22 PM

I knew this was crap as soon as I heard it got bumped from October 08 to April 09. If the studio shied away from releasing this during Oscar season, it's most likely a turd.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at April 25, 2009 1:58 AM

Crash 2.0?

Posted by: Hurp Durp at April 25, 2009 2:25 AM

Dustin, thank you for confirming my suspicions about this film. However, I wish to make a couple of things clear:

I do drink Trader Joes wine, but only because 2-Buck Chuck is all my broke ass can afford. And I need it to stop the voices.

And yes, I listen to NPR, but that's because the local station, KCRW, really does play kick-ass music. Aaaaaand the only other options L.A. radio offers are excrutiatingly bad pop music and Mariachi.

And yes, I DO want to leave L.A, but lack the money/necessary employment opportunities/other resources. To quote Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman, "I got nowhere else to go!"

So while living up to certain stereotypes may SEEM elitist and snooty, my life is really quite pathetic, considering what fate gave me to work with.

Just so you know. Good day, sir.

ISAIDGOODDAY! >X-(

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 25, 2009 3:49 AM

Recently I found a hot club -- SeekingTall . c o m -- just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don't miss your love.

Posted by: salawhite at April 25, 2009 4:04 AM

Recently I found a hot club -- SeekingTall . c o m -- just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don't miss your love.

Posted by: salawhite at April 25, 2009 4:08 AM

Look, I am no huge Jamie Foxx fan (I actually really hate most of his "music"), but I find all the hatred of him a tad unnecessary.

Seriously, who of you "scathingly bitchy" people REALLY felt that he crossed the line with the whole Miley Cyrus thing? I laughed my ass off!! That chick has no talent; she is Britney Spears pt. 2, minus the ripped-off Janet Jackson choreography. I know, I know: Boo-hoo, she's just a kid. Yeah, the 16-year old girls I know are SO INNOCENT, with their stolen presription meds and their sexting and their drunken Facebook postings. Precious lil sweethearts.

Anyway, I digress. I simply feel that, while Foxx might have many shortcomings, acting ain't one of 'em. I've heard people try to diminish his Oscar, saying that he was merely mimicking Ray Charles, that it wasn't really acting. I disagree, and would like to remind those folks that, in that same year, the guy was also nominated for Best Supporting for his role in Collateral. And I suspect the list of actors who've been nominated in two acting categories in the same year (and with a win, at that) is pretty short.

Just saying.

Posted by: Lisa at April 25, 2009 9:16 AM

I would just like to add that my self-proclaimed "snooty film critic" roommate blew off a screening of this last week so we could go watch Crank 2.

'Nuff said.

Posted by: Stacey at April 25, 2009 11:11 AM

Greetings, campers. This is the official unofficial hijack thread for the weekend (I'm taking over your review, DR, like you suggested). If you still wish to talk about "The Soloist," that's cool and all, just ignore the rest of us, but "The Soloist" talk seems to have petered out a bit, so ...

Anyway, this mix of music and movies (See? It's sort of on topic) got me to wondering, since we are after all a movies/TV/music/book community, how many (if any) of you have:

a) been in a movie (at least a credited bit part)
b) been on TV (for longer than the obligatory "He was a quiet man" interview)
c) had a book published (200 page minimum)
d) recorded a CD (say, at least 10 songs in a semi-professional studio, not talking home-made here)
e) more than one of the above.

Y'all get started, I'll chime in later.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 12:16 PM

Okay, tcfka bucdaddy, I'll bite. C would make my freakin' life and D is impossible (if I were singing for my supper, I wouldn't get a sniff!), I have a score of none. Yep, exciting as it is that's my story. Although, I still strive for C. However this website has hampered any progress toward that goal in the past week or so (I have a mildly addictive personality). I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon and it will just become a regular site to visit once a day or so......won't it?

Posted by: Eyvi at April 25, 2009 1:11 PM

Mornin', formerly!

A- When I was a kid, I was in a D-grade horror film called Tales of the Third Dimension. It was a trashy-ass ripoff of the Twilight Zone movie, except in 3D, narrated by a Crypt Keeper Rip-Off. In the story I was in, my brother and I were visiting our Grandmother for Christmas. She goes crazy and tries to kill us. Much of the story was spent with her chasing us around, wielding a shotgun from her wheelchair. I wish I could find a copy, but it seems even the studio that made it didn't bother to keep any copies archived.

B-I've made blink-and-you'll-miss-me appearances as a featured extra on Weeds and The Office. I know it doesn't fit your parameters, but I wanted to have an excuse to say this: The Office cast and crew is made up of wonderful, kind, friendly people who just may be unicorns in disguise.

D-When I was in high school, our garage band did well enough to self-produce a small budget album. We rented a semi-professional studio and engineer for a day, shortly before graduation, and went to town. :-)

And look where all this has gotten me---on the cusp of unemployment with roaches taking over my kitchen. I'm a STAR, I tell you! A precious, shining, STAR! *high-kicks out of the room, in tears*

Okay, now to the corner donut shop! :-)

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 25, 2009 1:20 PM

My hatred of Jamie Foxx runs so deeply that I wouldn't have even seen this had it featured Robert Downey Jr. full-on naked, performing soloist acts of his own with his little Iron Man.

I fucking hate Jamie Foxx. He is an untalented, arrogant, unfunny piece of shit who should have stopped at In Living Color.

Fucker.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at April 25, 2009 1:32 PM

Well buc, all I've done is news interveiws. Home movies don't count do they? Bow-ckicka-wow-wow.

Posted by: admin at April 25, 2009 1:46 PM

robert mapplethorpe image from when i was 5 or 6.
can't give the name of it, as it is probably illegal for one to search for. hell, even i let it go a long time ago.

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 1:52 PM

omg skinykate! you were in visions of sugarplum?

it is AN HONOR to meet you!

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 2:16 PM

A- I was an extra in Major League, but my shining moment was in my friend's fanfilm Hellraiser Prophesy, which ended up being shown at a fair amount of festivals.

D- I play classical trumpet and used to sing in a semi-professional choir, and between the two have about 5 CDs...probably not quite what you meant, but there it is.

I'm having a hard enough time writing my theses, so writing for fun is off the table for the foreseeable future.

Posted by: Phaeolus at April 25, 2009 3:32 PM

B: I stretched my cliche 15 minutes into 110 minutes on syndicated TV. I was a four-time "Jeopardy!" champ in 2001, which means I played five games (and got my ass kicked in the fifth one, a win short of two cars and a spot in the tournament).

I was blessed by luck, and by having opponents who were for the most part no better and no worse than me. So I managed to scrounge out the wins by accumulating just $18,500 (this was before they doubled the prize money). Ken Jennings was still just a gleam in Sony's eye.

You may not know, or not have guessed, that they shoot the shows in chunks, five a day for two days every other week, mostly. So I was at Sony Pictures from 9 a.m. Tuesday to around 3 p.m. Wednesday.

Funnest 30 hours of my life (vertical).

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 3:34 PM

Holy crap, formerly-bucdaddy! Where can one see these episodes? (Ahem, if one is a loser without a TV.) Are there dvds? Youtube? I'd love to see you kick some Jeopardy ass!

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 25, 2009 4:15 PM

And gp---well, shucks. Thanks for the possibly-ironical ego-stroking. I am a'blushin'.

:-)

Frankly, I just want a copy! I haven't seen it since it was first released, and even the production company doesn't seem to have any left. I just want it as a keepsake, but I guess it's not to be. So I am sad in the pants.

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 25, 2009 4:20 PM

I love how Dustin gives us the Go Ahead for hijacking a shitty movie thread.

As for buc's questions:

a) nope.
b) nope.
c) nope.
d) nope.

I suck.

Posted by: figgy at April 25, 2009 5:03 PM

Since we have DR's permission for the hijacking, I'm guessing that we need not fear any Navy SEALS firing at us from the rear deck of the Murdertank?
Cool... bring on the larfs and secks tawk.

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 5:35 PM

But you make kickass bread, figs.

shinykate, Did such things even exist (gasp!) eight years ago? I have a videotape of the five games that I haven't pulled out for a while. I should probably get it burned as a DVD before it turns to dust.

Meanwhile, here's a link to the games in the show's archives. Mine were the ones that started 2001-01-31:

http://www.j-archive.com/showseason.php?season=17

The run ends 2001-02-19 because there was a tournament in between.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 5:37 PM

Damn! In my radio days I got to meet and interview a lot of celebrities but I readily admit, as a Jeopardy junkie, that a four time Jeopardy champ is easily more impressive than any so-called star. My already sizable respect for tcfka bucdaddy has increased ten-fold. Good work!

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 5:45 PM

*blush* Thanks!

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 5:52 PM

"God will get you for that, Walter."

Bea Arthur dead at 86

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 6:00 PM

formerly buc, that is AWESOME! Due to your obvious skills, I'm going to have to elevate you to celebrity status.

Posted by: admin at April 25, 2009 6:01 PM

wow ,! joepardy is impressive, and the 1st show of the 21st century? you're effin elroy jetson!

and skinykate, or should i say, SUZIE! i wish i was a child horror actress, you're effin livin the dream.

and Spender, did you find your sweet tea vodka? today was the luau over at TU and the kids were effin buying it up!

hello, figgy. i can't think of a reason to put 'effin' into your salutation, so i'll just say 'how ya fuckin doin' today?'.

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 6:02 PM

Uh, I meant the Jeopardy, not Bea Arthur.

Posted by: admin at April 25, 2009 6:02 PM

bea arthur NOOOOOO

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 6:03 PM

,, that is so freakin' cool! I adore Jeopardy. Is Alex as funny as he seems? Oh, please don't tell me if he isn't!

Umm...I think my closest brush with celebrity was being interviewed about my masters research on CBC Radio's morning show in Cape Breton and Newfoundland. It really isn't much, and I was completely terrible. However, several months later when I told a new acquaintance that I used to study seabirds, he asked me if I was the gal who he'd heard on CBC Radio. I must admit, I thought it was cool that someone actually remembered it!

Posted by: meaux at April 25, 2009 6:05 PM

so i had just hit send on a text to tell my friend michael about bea arthur when i got a text from him telling me the same thing. crossing bea arthur texts? are you kidding me? i need a drink.

also RADIO! i forgot i was a chipmunk on the radio! a deejay friend and i would record commercials for local businesses all slowed down and then speed it up for the chipmunk effect. we were called chip and dip.

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 6:14 PM

Bea Arthur has left us? Damn! I will definitely raise a glass in her honor tonight.

gp, thanks! And that's awesome about the radio ads! Do you have any of them recorded?

,, thanks for the link! You know I'm checking that shit out. :-)

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 25, 2009 6:27 PM

Oh, and figgy, you are the walking antithesis of suck.

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 25, 2009 6:29 PM

"Is Alex as funny as he seems?"
---
You might be the first person I've ever heard ask that. He DOES ad lib fairly well, occasionally.

However, for security purposes, they don't let us interact with him outside of the little bit you see on the show. And by security I don't mean they're worried we'll rip his arm off, but he knows all the answers in advance, and they don't want problems with one of them somehow slipping out in casual conversation. During commercial breaks A.T. takes questions from the audience or does a very short monologue while contestant handlers swoop in around us -- "Need water?" "Speak up!" that kind of thing. We're basically kept in a corral from the moment we set foot on the lot to the time we cash out.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 6:35 PM

that was back in the late 80s and i don't know if recordings of them still exist or not :(

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 6:39 PM

it should read: "there are 90,000 homeless people in LA that really just need some rich white friends."

Posted by: lol at April 25, 2009 6:43 PM

Agreed, shinykate... figgy is nine kinds of awesome with extra cool sauce. She was a lot of fun on last week's highjack thread late-night shift... we had a blast, I think.
What I can actually remember was great fun, anyway.

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 6:58 PM

Oh, my, all that praise!

I am pretty awesome, though. Bwaha.

Today...dunno, feeling kinda down, but I'm about to watch Casablanca, have some chips and salsa, and just forget my troubles for one night.

And buc, you just became like a million times sexier. Jeopardy? PHWOAR!

Posted by: figgy at April 25, 2009 7:06 PM

formerly bucdaddy,

b)local TV news when they feature my Sweet Adeline chorus. It's usually around Christmes time, and the station uses us to lead to a commercial.

d)locally produced patriotic music album.(Yes, album! I'm old.) My high school chorus sang on a record one of the social studies teachers at the junior high wanted to produce. She had all of her students sing on the record, I think, so the school would sell that many more albums to proud parents.

I haven't played the LP in years, and now I don't even have a turntable to play it on. It's probably better that I just have the sweet memories of it. I'm sure the actual recording is pretty horrid.

Gee, now I realize that I am boring, as well as old.

Posted by: rlr260 at April 25, 2009 7:14 PM

Guess who, kiss my recovered alcoholic ass.

It takes some people many, many relapses to get sober, you ignorant fuck.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at April 25, 2009 7:19 PM

Thank you, Maryscott. You prevented my having to call "Guess Whookie" a raving, flaming contrarian asshole.*


(*Though I strongly suspect that his need for validation of ANY kind prompts his need to sound off on this website.)

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 7:37 PM

Figgy,

Here's looking at YOU, kid.

Hey, can we all come over? I have the BreadMobile revved and waiting. I'll pick up everyone else on the way, they'll bring booze.

Mmmmmmm, Breadablanca.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 8:15 PM

??? Did the post that set Maryscott off get yanked or something?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 8:17 PM

Nope, it was the RDJ reference.

Posted by: admin at April 25, 2009 8:44 PM

Oh, thanks, I missed Guess Whookie's second post up there, only saw the first one. Work getting to me, need beer.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 25, 2009 9:54 PM

maryscott, i was reading about david duke being detained in prague on your blog and have a true story...

i was fired from b.dalton booksellers in metairie, la. for refusing to ring up david duke's sale and calling him a nazi dickhead.

*end story*

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 11:08 PM

gp... much love from me to you.
I am astounded that the Nazi dickhead could NOT know that denying the holocaust is a criminal act in many (if not all) European countries.
He does not make me ashamed of my country but ashamed of the fact that our country could produce this kind of trailer trash fascist.
Standing up to him at the cost of your job is heroic.
Thank you, gp.

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 11:17 PM

And while I am in agreement with MSOC's opinions and belief in the principles of free speech, the fact of the matter is that the law in the Czech Republic is the law and David Duke is in violation of that law by publishing his opinion that there was no Holocaust.
Yes, I believe that Duke can freely espouse his opinions (no matter how vile) in any place that allows for same.
I still think he's a Nazi dickhead.

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 11:25 PM

That said... I miss last week's secks tawk and larfs.

Posted by: Spender at April 25, 2009 11:27 PM

i'm no hero, it was a shit job anyway. the manager was dating a pro-footballer and she just didn't really give a damn about anything. it made for a hostile work environment (some of it my youthful bullhead's fault).
he was just a recognizable pink slip waiting to happen.

but yeah, to see the guy in person, and realize he's pretty un-charasmatic, made me wonder how he got so infamous. i guess hate grows exponentially. but when i saw him, and didn't fear him, i didn't want to look at him any longer.

plus i'm a mouthy fucker.
ask anyone.

Posted by: gp at April 25, 2009 11:36 PM

Mouthy fuckers who back up words with action are in my pantheon of heroes.
You rock.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 12:41 AM

And so, the thread dies.
RIP.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:22 AM

oh *stop*! you're making me blush.

you're just drunk, Spender, go to bed. i'm not going to bro-out with you.

(tonight)

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 1:24 AM

One last thing... since everyone here has a blog and I do not, can I promote our little intartoobs radio station instead?
It's eggradio.com and it's kinda good.
I'm the music director there and I like it and think that you all might.
Just askin'.
Don't banninate me fer life, Dr. Rowles.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:26 AM

gp, I have a wife who knows every corner of the Tulsa night life and she'll gladly take us on a tour of every gay bar in town... and I will happily go along.
We'll bro out at that time over jello shots and snarking at the horrible cross-dressers with bad wigs, broad shoulders and five o'clock shadows.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:30 AM

Ooh! We can invite jm! She has a key to the liquor store!

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:31 AM

i've seen those 'ladies'.


*snark snark*

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 1:32 AM

i have a liquor store key too! who is this jm? we need to burn this town!

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 1:34 AM

So it's you who has the key... we must marry.
Lemme talk to the wife and worry not, I'm sure she'll be okay with the arrangement. She's a Democrat.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:36 AM

you know, in the morning, people will talk...

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 1:38 AM

We were regulars at the 220 Club in Abilene and our radio station (classic rock, believe it or not) did a marathon broadcast from there for Aids awareness. Best 12 hours of my life... telling all of these classic rock yahoos that this disease can strike ANYONE at ANYTIME. Damn, I loved that place and the people who run it.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:40 AM

Let 'em talk... Sweet lovin' is sweet lovin'.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:41 AM

you're tellin' me.

i miss bea arthur already. ooo, my daily's strawberry margarita is frozen (enough).

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 1:43 AM

I wore a Bea Arthur "Maude"-style neck scarf today in honor of her wattle.

Posted by: Spender at April 26, 2009 1:45 AM

i did a lot of things today in honor of her wattle.

i could post the xtube link, but dustin would get cranky.

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 1:47 AM

So ... I'm the last one up?

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 26, 2009 2:25 AM

Wattle I gotta do to make you love me?
Wattle I gotta do to be heard?
Wattle I do when lightning strikes me?
"Zymurgy" seems to be the hardest word ...

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 26, 2009 2:28 AM

night, mr. k.

Posted by: gp at April 26, 2009 2:29 AM

Makes me long for Samuel L. Jackson to tell RDJ to get off his motherfucking curb before he kicks his motherfucking ass...

Uh, hate to burst your hate-on, but Jackson did this movie too. It was called "The Caveman's Valentine" and it's not bad, IMO.

Posted by: twig at April 26, 2009 9:41 AM

So, just to be clear, we do all know that there's a difference between "retarded" and "mentally ill", right? It's kind of like the difference between "scathing and bitchy" and "hateful".

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 26, 2009 10:25 AM

AvB

Within the context of the Tropic Thunder Oscar grab, they're the same thing.

Posted by: twig at April 26, 2009 10:48 AM

I thought that, twig, but there were a few comments that indicated a definite misappropriation of the word.

granted, I am a bit cranky 'cause my apartment is stifling and I'm stuck indoors in front of my laptop writing a five-page "learning plan presentation" for a stupid class, so my apologies for the assiness of my comment.

Also, I work for a non-profit that benefits the developmentally disabled, and we tend to get insulted on their behalf when the word "retard" is bandied about, especially when used interchangeably with mental illness.

I'll go back to writing my paper now, and try not to make any more jerky comments today.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 26, 2009 12:27 PM

AvP, your comment wasn't jerky at all! It was a reasonable and well-founded concern.

At least you're not trying to threadjack the threadjack with inflammatory remarks meant to somehow enlighten and educate us ignorant masses. *cough* Seriously, it's all good, guesswhookie. I have a close friend who does that regularly, and we've all learned to just ignore him. The result seems to suit everyone just fine!

Oh, and I was out last night and JUST read the comments I missed out on before, but gp, for losing your job for telling off an infamous racist and hatemonger, you are my hero. And I think I love you. Just a little. ;-)

Posted by: ShinyKate at April 26, 2009 1:19 PM

[ignoring the highjack]

"The column hit a nerve with the L.A. Times’ readership ... so much so that an arthritic old lady decided to give her cello to Ayers, a gesture that allowed Lopez to write another column."

Kenneth Turan's LATimes review detailed why he didn't like the movie, including the addition of fictional details that don't add to the story, like the "arthritic old lady" and Lopez/RDJ's "ex-wife." The original columns were more thoughtful and complex than that. I'm sorry, but not surprised, that the movie assumed its demographic was NPR listeners and that they'd want to watch simplistic tripe. Based on the columns, I'd be interested to read the book; based on the movie, I'd stay a continent away.

Posted by: Gavin at April 26, 2009 2:35 PM

The only thing I can stand to watch Jamie Foxx in nowadays is Jarhead.

Homeboy is a TOOL of epic proportions.

Oo-Rah...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 26, 2009 3:17 PM

Spender, about the David Duke piece (which is really a recycled essay of mine from last summer, just relevant to Duke's detainment this past week) -- that whole "the law in the Czech Republic is the law" thing was hopefully to be a given. I was reaching for a bigger, over-arching theme. That the law is WRONG, was my point... That while we've been hitting a suck factor of ten here in the good ol' USA as far as the moral high ground goes, our right to freedom of speech is one of our greater achievements, and that I think we've got it all over the Europeans in that department.

Anyhooo...

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at April 27, 2009 6:50 PM

Stella, I'd say mimic is a dead on accurate description of what Foxx does and about the nicest way to say it. I would personally say he sucks a donkeys nuts but thats just me

Posted by: Jack Random at April 27, 2009 8:44 PM

it makes sense that they would Robert Downey Jr. as an intellectual/journalist type, he was a similar character in Zodiac

Posted by: Nomad at April 29, 2009 10:44 PM

I think the book is better than the movie
It really shows character's views on things
Jamie Foxx was amazing in the movie though

Posted by: Landry McCoy at May 7, 2009 5:47 PM