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The Proposal Review | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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A Chick Flick for Chicks Who Like Chick Flicks


The Proposal / Dustin Rowles

Film Reviews | June 19, 2009 | Comments (133)


We are quick to criticize formulism in these parts — we decry the lack of subversion, the laziness, and the predictability inherent in most studio offerings. And while I generally subscribe to that newsletter (The Seething Art of Hating the Formulaic in Three Easy Steps), I don’t begrudge romantic comedies for falling in line. Or at least the studio offerings, where there’s little choice in the matter. For the sake of marketability and the creation of a decent trailer, a certain studio-mandated template must be followed: An unlikely pair separated by circumstance or a furious hatred of one another overcome certain obstacles, fall in love in the second act, and have their relationship endangered in the third act before reuniting via impassioned speech, preferably in view of a roomful of extras poised to applaud the exchange of saliva.

I’m not suggesting it’s easier to come up with a novel concept and write the hell out of it for Fox Searchlight and the opportunity to be seen at Sundance and, possibly, break even on DVD, but trying to write a romantic comedy for a big studio is tantamount to writing the great American novel on a typewriter with seven missing keys, including the “S.” And assuming you can even abide by a studio romantic comedy in the first place (not a popular genre around here), whether they succeed or fail rests entirely on a screenwriter’s ability to work within those limitations and the onscreen chemistry between the two romantic leads. A good romantic comedy — and they’re a very rare breed — overcomes the limitations, makes the contrivances work for it, and wins you over in spite of your wary skepticism.

For the most part, that’s exactly what The Proposal does. It’s the rare rom-com that doesn’t feel as though it began with a pitch, a title, and the two leads before the script was even written. Granted, it’s still constrained by that formulism, but there’s a lot of life going on in those gaps. Much of that magic comes in the form of Ryan Reynolds, who has finally gotten a role that not only takes advantage of his physique, but more importantly, his droll sarcasm and the ability to naturally deliver a cutting remark with impeccable timing — it’s a heady combination of the likable Reynolds from Definitely, Maybe and the romantic version of the wry, deadpan Reynolds in Blade Trinity. And though it’s the unlikeliest of pairs, there’s an actual easy-going and sweet chemistry between Reynolds and Sandra Bullock (sans snort!), who finally gets to express what many of us have known lies beneath her gauzy button-cute, dewy façade: Her inner, simpering bitch.

In The Proposal, Bullock plays Margaret Tate, or The Devil Wears Prada’s Miranda Priestly lite, an editrix ruling over a book publishing company with a three-ply aluminum foil fist: A frosty, tyrannical veneer that’s easily punctured. Faced with the prospect of being deported back to Canada and losing everything she’s sacrificed to gain her position, Margaret blackmails her put-upon assistant, Andrew, into marrying her to save both her job and his. He agrees, but only by turning the tables on her and taking away her position of control. However, an INS investigation led by Dennis O’Hare’s Mr. Gilbertson forces the couple to visit Andrew’s family in Sitka, Alaska over the weekend and carry the sham to its logical extreme, which also requires convincing Andrew’s family that the impending marriage is genuine.

Having forced the couple together through the use of the tired green-card marriage gimmick, screenwriter Pete Chiarelli smartly pushes the plot device to the background and allows the two leads to develop their relationship. It’s here — safely tucked between scenes designed for the trailers — that The Proposal rises above most romantic comedies. The bickering, which has considerably more bite (and humor) than you’d expect from a Sandra Bullock movie, slowly evolves into familial banter. And despite the manufactured contrivances that box them in, the inevitable romantic relationship that blossoms feels natural, derived in large part from the screwball nature of the writing (or at least the closest thing you’re going to find to screwball in 2009). It’s not Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, of course, but there’s more snappy energy in the couple’s quick-witted repartee than a thousand Matthew McConaughey/Kate Hudson vehicles combined.

But while the chemistry between Bullock and Reynolds pulls you in, it’s Betty White that closes the deal, takes your money, and fucks your husband. White is gold, y’all. She’s not the one-dimensional foul-mouthed rapping Granny we’ve all grown accustomed to: She’s a solid source of comedy in the film, but as the 90-year-old Grammy, she’s also the no-nonsense heart of The Proposal. You understand exactly why Margaret falls in love with Andrew’s family, because — thanks to Betty, and to some extent, Mary Steenburgen’s inviting mother — <>you fall in love with Andrew’s family, too.

Granted, there’s still a lot of forced nuttiness in The Proposal, embodied best in Oscar Nunez’s (“The Office”) hardest-working man in Sitka character, a running joke that fails as often as it works, as well as a dog that’s susceptible to swooping eagles, a gag that’s likely to pull a big laugh out of you that you’ll feel ashamed about the next day. But even the easy gags aren’t cheap — despite the much-talked about age-differential, there are no stupid cougar jokes; the toilet humor is nil; and — at least to this critic — it’s refreshingly free from the dominating Apatowian humor, a throwback — at least for one weekend — all the way to 2006.

Still, The Proposal is not likely to win over anyone opposed to romantic comedies — it borrows every rom-com convention in the book ( Joseph M. Caracciolo’s Five Steps to a Financially Successful Romantic Comedy), but director Anne Fletcher (the risible 27 Dresses) makes the smartest choice she’s capable of: She lets the script and her cast do all the work. It’s formulaic as hel, but The Proposal is the rare film that works the formula instead of letting the formula work it.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. You can email him or leave a comment below.


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Comments

I love ya' dude but, seriously, you shouldn't have written this review.

File under: Conflict of interest.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 19, 2009 3:05 PM

But while the chemistry between Bullock and Reynolds pulls you in, it’s Betty White that closes the deal, takes your money, and fucks your husband.

Somehow I think that both my husband and I could go for that.

Posted by: mswas at June 19, 2009 3:06 PM

How much do I love that you're finally owning your undying luuuurve for Ry Ry?

So much.

And now I kind of want to see this movie. Damn you, Rowles.

Posted by: Kolby at June 19, 2009 3:07 PM

C'mon, Bslim. You know Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate wrote this. Rowles melted into a puddle of sweat, tears and "dude milk" 30 seconds after Reynolds' first appearance.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 19, 2009 3:16 PM

Conflict of interest! If you were writing about Ryan Reynolds robbing a bank you'd have described how he liberated the bank from all that cumbersome money. And said something about his sculpted abs.

Posted by: Bd at June 19, 2009 3:16 PM

Oh come, the fuck on! If this were a Heigl vehicle instead of the Cross-Eyed idol you worship so blindly, this would be a scorched earth review.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 19, 2009 3:27 PM

Dude milk? You owe me a new keyboard, Tracer Bullet. My current one is now shortcircuited from being sprayed with my afternoon tea.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 19, 2009 3:29 PM

And yes. I know we're all being played here. but Rowles, I still think we need an intervention.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 19, 2009 3:31 PM

Dustin: Absolutely no comments about the nude scene? Really?

Posted by: BWeaves at June 19, 2009 3:32 PM

Dustin's review, especially given his crush on R2 and coming on the tail of INTERVIEWING THE WRITER OF THIS MOVIE was anything but unbiased. That said, at least we know about his biases, and are free to read his review for what it is: an entertaining bit of self-justification that will in no way influence our opinion of the film itself.

In other words, the movie review itself is a piece of metafiction.

Posted by: VampireSlug at June 19, 2009 3:33 PM

File under: Conflict of interest.

I have a feeling this was the other reason this review was so nice...I'm with PaddyDog. Any other less abs-y actor and a writer you didn't justinterview, and I'm pretty sure this review would be completely different.
TK, please go watch this and give us something real to work with.

Posted by: jamiepants at June 19, 2009 3:38 PM

I have to agree, Dustin should not have been the one to review this movie. Too many abs to blind him.

Posted by: Snath at June 19, 2009 3:39 PM

There's no way I'd pay to see a Sandra Bullock movie. I wouldn't watch it if it were free. I would voluntarily sit in a room with gray walls all day first.

Posted by: Candy at June 19, 2009 3:40 PM

I think y'all are being overly harsh. TK reviews Mega Shark, a movie fully in his wheelhouse and no one complains. Dustin is fully capable of reviewing this, and if it really were as terrible as most rom coms are, then I'm sure there would only be gushing about R squared rising above the material. Along with anything else rising in material.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 19, 2009 3:47 PM

An unlikely pair separated by circumstance or a furious hatred of one another overcome ...

reuniting via impassioned speech, preferably in view of a roomful of extras poised to applaud the exchange of saliva.

So what's wrong with another retelling of The Hero's Journey?

The archetypal plots come back again and again - Romeo and Juliet, Frankenstein, Electric Boogaloo, Debbie Does Dallas.

Roosevelt / Reagan '12
My recycled, icon beats your deified icon. Cage match in the White House!

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 19, 2009 3:52 PM

I'm glad it got a good review (I dunno, I just like rom-coms starring Sandra Bullock, can't help it), but I have trouble with the premise. Why is she being deported? Why can't her company sponsor her to stay? And getting a green card through marriage these days isn't that easy is it?

I need these things explained please!

Oh right, it's a romantic comedy, it doesn't need to be like real life. Der.

Posted by: Carrie at June 19, 2009 3:57 PM

-- Dude milk? You owe me a new keyboard, Tracer Bullet. My current one is now shortcircuited from being sprayed with my afternoon tea.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 19, 2009 3:29 PM

Is "afternoon tea" the female version of dude milk?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 19, 2009 3:57 PM

You guys are adorable.

I saw the movie and wrote the review before I interviewed Chiarelli, and I always review the romantic comedies. It would've been unusual if I hadn't. I'm sure TK and Prisco would've hated it because they hate romantic comedies. I like them, or at least the decent ones.

And it's not as though it's an effusive review -- if you don't like romantic comedies, you're not going to like The Proposal. But since when is a critic not allowed to review a movie if he's fond of one of the actors? That's part of why I liked the movie: I like Ryan Reynolds. If you like Reynolds, you'd be more inclined to liking the movie. I also like Joseph Gordon Levitt, which also predisposes me to liking his films. Casting is an important part of the equation.

Not for nothing: I really hope you folks understand the the Reynolds' ab thing is just for fun -- a running joke at my own expense. I finding it amusing, and I'm comfortable enough being the butt of a sexually ambiguous punchline to perpetuate it.

Anyway: I liked the movie. I saw it a second time today to make sure my judgement had not been clouded. I fuck around a lot in the diversions, the trade news, and SRLs, but I take the reviews seriously. And if I hadn't been comfortable writing a fair and objective review, I would've assigned it to someone else (as I did with Zack and Miri.)

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at June 19, 2009 4:08 PM

God, dammit, I didn't hit post, I swear. I'm a consultant, dammit. I don't do implementation. I'm conceptual. Don't make me type this for myself again, it'll be bad, bad, bad.

And now, a proper edit of a post not worth nearly this much effort. (Similar to a rom-com, no?)

"An unlikely pair separated by circumstance or a furious hatred of one another overcome ...

reuniting via impassioned speech, preferably in view of a roomful of extras poised to applaud the exchange of saliva."

So what's wrong with another retelling of The Hero's Journey?

The classic plots & characters come back again and again - Romeo and Juliet, Frankenstein, Electric Boogaloo, Debbie Does Dallas.

Roosevelt / Reagan '12
Cage match in the White House! - "The Last Archetype Standing."

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 19, 2009 4:10 PM

-- I'm comfortable enough being the butt of a sexually ambiguous punchline to perpetuate it.

And thats without the lube.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 19, 2009 4:10 PM

Just so we're clear, I was just joking. Did any of us really expect someone else to review this movie? Of course Dustin was going to do it, and that's okay.

Posted by: Snath at June 19, 2009 4:13 PM

-- I also like Joseph Gordon Levitt...

What a man-whore.


Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 19, 2009 4:13 PM

Yes! Separate out your opinions from your reviews, Dustin! Harrumph! Because reviews aren't really opinions, and we all need Pajiba's opinion to determine whether or not we'd watch a Sandra Bullock rom-com! Exclamation points! Harrumph!

Seriously, the fuck? "Conflict of interest?" If we worried about obsessions creating conflicts of interests around, Slim would never be able to write about underage girls, and I'd never be able to write about myself. (And I realize that some are saying it jokingly)

Posted by: branded at June 19, 2009 4:16 PM

I have just one question, before I read the review....why does every woman in a picture with Ryan Reynolds end up looking old and anorexic? Is it just me that sees this? I'm not a big fan, nor do I hate him: it just seems to me that he puts out some evil ray that shrivels up actresses. Look at his wife for crying out loud, she's wasting away before our eyes, and Bullock doesn't look too healthy in that header shot...
Just my little opinion.

Posted by: dawn at June 19, 2009 4:22 PM

I like Sandra Bullock when she does rom com (not so much the other stuff - I'm looking at you Hope Floats and that grisham movie). I will not pay money to see a rom com, but I'll watch it on tv or possibly if it is ever offered for free on Netflix.
And I fucking *love* Ms Congeniality. So nah!

Posted by: Stella at June 19, 2009 4:25 PM

I'm writing a screenplay called The Indecent Proposal Proposition.

Kind of like how Firefly is a cross between the Western and sci-fi genres, my film will be a cross between a Western, a sexually-charged drama, and a chick flick.

It's kind of high-concept.

Posted by: Snath at June 19, 2009 4:27 PM

I loved Ms Congeniality too, and While you Were Sleeping, but Mr Reynolds is why I'll be seeing this movie.

He was on Q (of the Billy Bob Thornton is an asshole fame) giving us some insight as to how and why he is so awesome:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaCweF-yXJk

Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at June 19, 2009 4:34 PM

I'm sure TK and Prisco would've hated it because they hate romantic comedies.

Hey! That's not true. I like romantic comedies plenty.

As long as there are gunfights. Or zombies. Or gunfighting zombies.

Posted by: TK at June 19, 2009 4:35 PM

the following is a true conversation spawned by this thread between myself and my son on yahoo messenger:

Max : No. It's not. *giggles* Dude milk.
Max : "Heigl"?
Dawn: they hate her
Dawn: and Dude Milk is awesome
Max : Who?
Dawn: who what?
Heigl
Dawn: Katherine Heigl from grey's anatomy and knocked up
Dawn: they hate her on pajiba
Max : Umm... Oh, okay.
Max : I don't know who she is, so I'm blessed.
Dawn: you never saw Knocked Up?
Dawn: I thought you were an Apatowt
Max : Not that I remember.
Max : No, no I'm not.
Max : His stuff is hit and miss.
Dawn: an Apatwit?
Max : *shakes head* His stuff is overrated. Half the jokes only apply to someone who's completely in love with Seth Rogan.
Dawn: see, that's what I thought
but you're in the demographic
Max : I am, but it's me, Ma.
Max : If you'd like, you can post this convo on there so you can receive praise for raising your son right.
Max : Okay, Afternoon tea just won...

Posted by: dawn at June 19, 2009 4:39 PM

Ehhh, you may be preaching to the wrong congregation with that one, dawn. Despite the presence of Rainbow Killer, most of us acknowledge Knocked Up to be one of the greatest movies pretty much ever. It was when Apatow and group were still fresh and amusing, and coming off of The 40-Year-Old Virgin they were the kings of the comedy world.

Now, maybe not so much.

Posted by: Snath at June 19, 2009 4:51 PM

Afternoon tea, is afternoon tea, L.O.V.E. I drink it every day, and sometime it comes out my mouth when I read a real howler, like:

"Anyway: I liked the movie. I saw it a second time today to make sure my judgement had not been clouded."

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at June 19, 2009 4:08 PM

Uh huh.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 19, 2009 5:01 PM

Rowles, you are too emotionally attached to Ryan Renolds to be objective about this movie. In principle, I am not opposed to Sandra Bullock, but this looks bad. Hope Floats bad. Two Weeks Notice Bad.

I think we need a do over.

Posted by: Carolina Girl at June 19, 2009 5:06 PM

....why does every woman in a picture with Ryan Reynolds end up looking old and anorexic?

Perhaps he eats their life force in order to fuel his ab-tabolism.

Posted by: Caroline at June 19, 2009 5:06 PM

Snath: You know, when someone says something is going to happen, and then it happens almost immediately happens, it makes me laugh. Thanks for being the second part of why I laughed in the last 15 minutes. It made my day. *glee*

Posted by: Max, I guess... at June 19, 2009 5:23 PM

I hate "chick flicks" as much as the next self-respecting woman. But sometimes, life gets so damn bleak it's nice to escape into someone else's disastrous love life rather than focus on my own. At least theirs always has a happy ending.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at June 19, 2009 6:05 PM

As a chick who secretly loves chick flicks, I think this looks not bad. For a chick flick. But really, there are six main reasons that I'm looking forward to seeing this. And they're all lined up in a pack on Ryan Reynolds' stomach.

Posted by: Hotcha at June 19, 2009 6:15 PM

Betty White... fucks your husband.

And there goes my libido. Goodbye, cruel world.

Posted by: Melissa at June 19, 2009 6:37 PM

Wanna hook up with those 18+ hot models, sexy girls and handsome guys, just join the best and largest tall dating club: ____Tallconnect.c o m____ , We bring together tall-dating minded singles from USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Europe and more. Come on, have a try! Join for FREE.

Posted by: Sandra at June 19, 2009 6:38 PM

I love Sandra Bullock (at least in comedies), I can't help it. I'm probably going to see this tomorrow.

Posted by: kelsy at June 19, 2009 6:39 PM

When did Sandra Bullock go into the 'botting biz? This must be some weird form of viral advertising.

Posted by: SaBrina at June 19, 2009 6:44 PM

I daresay your objectivity's a little lacking on this one, Rowles, especially after your Interview With The Screenwriter(TM). It would be like getting admin to review Gia - appreciative, less-than-fully critical, and predictable.

That said, if the wife wants to see it, I won't say no, I just won't volunteer it.

Posted by: lordhelmet at June 19, 2009 6:53 PM

You know, it's because of movies like this, with their fake-marriage-for-greencard scams that it's taken me 6 months to get my motherfucking fiance visa. So, you know, I'm not looking too kindly at this movie.

But I will pay to see the nude scene.

Posted by: figgy at June 19, 2009 6:55 PM

Gah!!!

I have to stand up for Dustin. It makes me a sad panda that it's not even Saturday and Rowles is having to come into a weekend thread to defend himself.

The movie was hilarious, y'all. Yes, Ryan Reynolds was hot in it and naked at one point, but he was also very funny, give the guy some fucking credit. I mean seriously. Y'all whine bitch and moan about how much screen time a dweeb like McChaughney (sp?) gets, but when a romantic lead that's actually funny and fairly talented takes the screen you can't shut up about the fact that he must be loved because of his abs. Which, coincidentally is true, you have to love Reynolds because of his abs. It's like gravity.

The writing was great and the actors executed the script very well. My parents saw this too and my dad hates romantic comedies and he thought it was funny. And yes, for your information, my parents are the authority on all movies, fuck you very much.

The weakest point was probably the Malin Ackerman sub-plot. It just felt blah. But Betty White was fucking beautiful. She ruled that movie and helped tidy up the slower moments. Also surprisingly good in the movie? Craig T. Nelson.

Anyway, leave Dustin alone. Also, I have no regrets about laughing at a fluffball of a dog hunted by an eagle. That shit was hysterical.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 6:57 PM

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Posted by: spamabot at June 19, 2009 6:59 PM

The weakest point was probably the Malin Ackerman sub-plot.

Probably redundant, Kayanne, I think just "Malin Ackerman" would cover that point. Eck, I didn't even know she was in this. It won't stop me from seeing it, but damn when are her 15 minutes up? Annoying as hell in that Ben Stiller movie, an anchor around the neck of Watchmen, and wasn't she in some horrible thing with Heigl last year?

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 19, 2009 7:09 PM

Ugh, Socalled you just summed up her miserable career. Seriously, she pissed me off in Watchmen. She and Heigl were the sisters of stupid in 27 Dresses. And I only watched 15 minutes of that Ben Stiller travesty and she made me so angry.

But, thankfully, she only has about 7 minutes of screen time in this movie. It actually seemed like her role was a larger one, but suffered due to editing. i really wish they could have just edited her out entirely, but somewhere a movie exec required this film to have a pretty blonde. There's no other explanation.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 7:15 PM

I wish I could take credit for "dude milk," but it came from a website called chickenhead.com. Specifically, it came for the site's take on a sex ed program for boys as envisioned by George W. Bush called "Sex is for Fags."

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 19, 2009 7:25 PM

I am ashamed to say I will be seeing this. I think I will cover Bullock's face with my hand the whole time. There will be a picture of me taped to the back of said hand. Horray!

Posted by: the_wakeful at June 19, 2009 7:25 PM

KAYANNE!
*tall-mingles all over himself*

Posted by: gp at June 19, 2009 7:35 PM

Posted by: spamabot at June 19, 2009 6:59 PM

i almost looked over that.

Posted by: gp at June 19, 2009 7:37 PM

gp, me too.

To both comments.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 7:43 PM

sick, dude! xp

Posted by: gp at June 19, 2009 7:47 PM

I loathe romantic comedies with I hate I reserve for mayonnaise.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at June 19, 2009 7:53 PM

You guys, you have to remember that Dustin's a complete sucker for a rom-com, Ryry or not. God, he's such a pansy. I love the RyRy "love", so stand back bitches, or I'll slap you in the name of Dustin.

dawn: congratulations on raising your son right. You should be proud.

I hate "chick flicks" as much as the next self-respecting woman. But sometimes, life gets so damn bleak it's nice to escape into someone else's disastrous love life rather than focus on my own. At least theirs always has a happy ending.

YES. It's why I watch Bridget Jones' Diary so obsessively. I love a well-done romcom. Just as long as they don't star Kate Hudson.

Posted by: figgy at June 19, 2009 8:04 PM

I will see this for three reasons;

1) Ryan Reynolds is hot.

.....On second thought, this is my only reason. Hmmmm.....Nope, no other reason is necessary, that one'll do.

Posted by: Eyvi at June 19, 2009 8:19 PM

Wait, clevername, you hate mayo? You heretic. I'm SO glad I got stuck on team TK.

Posted by: figgy at June 19, 2009 8:38 PM

...and by stuck she means lovingly accepted and embraced, not picked last in gym class like a nose-picking loser.

Posted by: slower lower at June 19, 2009 8:46 PM

Mayo is the devil's condiment.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 19, 2009 8:50 PM

But while the chemistry between Bullock and Reynolds pulls you in, it’s Betty White that closes the deal, takes your money, and fucks your husband. White is gold, y’all.

SOLD! These words are going to put my sweet ass in a movie theater seat this weekend.

Posted by: Heathen at June 19, 2009 8:58 PM

Mmmmmmmayonnaise. I just had a delicious turkey and swiss sandwich absolutely loaded with lovely mayonnaise.

You guys are adorable.

...my sarcasm sense is tingling, The Spider Man.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 19, 2009 9:06 PM

Figgy,

Okay, that backfired on me, actually, because I was calling him out for being a smug little son-of-a-bitch who was mocking my pajiba love....but it blew up in my face and he's still mocking me, so I give.

someday I'll make him teach me how to use html, but not today.

Posted by: dawn at June 19, 2009 9:12 PM

You know what keys I could definitely do without? The fucking

Num
Lock

and

Scroll
Lock

What the hell are those even for, anyway? Always getting enabled by mistake, pissing me off. So there, there's two of your seven nobody would miss in a fucking million years.

And whose idea was it to put the

Insert

key right next to the

Delete

key, so that half the time when I try to delete something I un-insert myself too, and type over half a graph I've already writ ...

Oh, um, sorry about that, heh, little tangent there.

So ... we were talking about DR spurting man-honey for RR, right?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 19, 2009 9:32 PM

Dawn(mom): of course i knew what you were saying. But i guess thats because i live with you guys. And your son also lied he watched it with me and dad. Smugness+lying= EPIC FAIL on his part.

Posted by: Dawnsdaughter(nameless) at June 19, 2009 9:34 PM

How much do I love that dawn's family is all on Pajiba today? SO MUCH.

..and by stuck she means lovingly accepted and embraced, not picked last in gym class like a nose-picking loser.

Posted by: slower lower at June 19, 2009 8:46 PM

I ADMIT [NOR REGRET] NOTHING.

Posted by: figgy at June 19, 2009 9:47 PM

Your words are foul, baseless, and a strange mixture of slander and libel. In any case, I shall not stand to hear them. Do you hear me? I SHALL not stand for it! *huffily walks away*

Posted by: Max, I guess at June 19, 2009 9:49 PM

Pajiba is the new family feud!

Also, mayo sucks and only belongs in chicken salad, tuna fish sammiches and egg salad. Mayo ruins great sandwiches. That's for true.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 9:53 PM

I slander not my dear friend. If you feel the urge not to stand for it, sit down. And baseless my accusations are not. Therefor i bid you good day. As not to slander mothers good parenting by showing otherwise on here.

Posted by: Dawnsdaughter(nameless) at June 19, 2009 9:56 PM

don't forget mixed with glitter to make at-home unicorn semen.

Posted by: gp at June 19, 2009 9:57 PM

gp yogurt is a much more magical substitute.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 10:00 PM

Some notes:

1) I *heart* Dawn and Dawn's family, and that they're having a fight on Pajiba together. Remember, Dawn's kids, the family that Pajibas together stays together!

2) I'm totally stealing "I just tallmingled all over myself", and will say it frequently, especially at work.

3) You know who else doesn't like mayo? Al qaeda. And Communists. Also Hitler. Yep, Hitler hated mayo. True Story.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 19, 2009 10:06 PM

I was gling to try to stay out of this, but if you think it's crazy on here, you should be in our house tonight....My husband is threatening to put a stop to it all by yanking the plugs on the kids' computers, my dog is having a nervous breakdown from all the screaming and laughter and the youngest, who is only 8 months old, is feeling left out and has this to say....


dkkkkkkkkkkkddddddksjjjjjjjjjjj

ddd

Posted by: dawn at June 19, 2009 10:12 PM

Anna von Beaverplatz: Thank you for that. We *heart* you too.

Mom: He shall never take my computer unless it is pried from my cold dead fingers. I'm think of a revolution and it involves the hammer the super glue and yes yes the evil army of squirrels. And it will start in this house.

Posted by: Dawnsdaughter(nameless) at June 19, 2009 10:16 PM

Dawn's Daughter (aka Nameless):

Not that I'd want to incite an all out household war or anything, but... There is such a thing a squirrel armor. http://www.pitbullarmory.com/Squirrel-armor.html

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 10:27 PM

Hitler also hated a sloppy tie knot and a crooked crease in his pants. Man wasn't wrong about everything. And don't even get me started on what he did with the trains.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 19, 2009 10:31 PM

Kayanne You have solved one of the few problems to my plans. Now all i need to superglue solvent for when the war is won and a lot of nuts. But rest assured my plan will be well planed and shall leaved them unharmed(my family and the squirrels) Just very very scared.

Posted by: Dawnsdaughter(nameless) at June 19, 2009 10:32 PM

I like Sandra B and R-squared so I'm going to give this one a chance.

I'm going to go off topic for a moment and recommend a Korean rom-com called My Sassy Girl. If there is a film to convert the rom-com haters, this is it. Has Mr Rowles seen it? Would he be willing to review it for the site? Are we allowed to request stuff? Will I be banned?

Posted by: M at June 19, 2009 10:33 PM

R-squared:Dustin::squirrels:dogs

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 19, 2009 10:37 PM

mayo belongs nowhere but in hell.

Posted by: lizzieborden at June 19, 2009 10:38 PM

M, if I could request that they review a crap show like Bridezillas and have said request granted, I seriously doubt that they'll ban you for suggesting a hip foreign rom-com.

Dawn's Family, fight clean! You probably don't want a repeat of Monopoly night.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 10:39 PM

a Korean rom-com called My Sassy Girl

Wait, is that the dragon war thing from a couple of years ago? Because I totally saw about five minutes of that.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 19, 2009 10:39 PM

R-squared:Dustin::squirrels:dogs


Mmmm, but the dog actually catches the squirrel sometimes. It's rare, but the dog actually has a shot.

R-squared:Dustin::cars:dogs

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at June 19, 2009 10:48 PM

Kayanne: Oh I see. I wasn't sure if there were any rules regarding requests.

Does Pajiba even have rules?

socalledonlycousins: The what with the who now?

Posted by: M at June 19, 2009 11:02 PM

Oh, Pajiba's got rules all right. And ways to enforce them. Although most of those ways involve glitter, mayo and octopus ink.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 19, 2009 11:09 PM

We need a Brangelina-type nickname for the happy coupled. I propose:

R2D1

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 19, 2009 11:10 PM

Also: I only ever use mayo in my crabcakes.

Miracle Whip. A sammitch isn't a sammitch, bitches.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 19, 2009 11:13 PM

buc R2D1 is all kinds of adorable, but mustard is my favorite sandwich condiment.

And no problem, M! Pajiba has all kinds of rules that you don't know about. Kind of like In-n-Out's secret menu.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 11:17 PM

Mrcreosote, I happen to like glitter, mayo and all octopus related things. Hmmm, interesting.

Posted by: M at June 19, 2009 11:20 PM

okay, so regarding yogurt instead of mayo for making unicorn semen...

i love yogurt, only too much. plus, it's what we soccasionally have with granola as a healthy-ier dessert.
and i do NOT want to be thinking about semen while eating dessert.

well, not animal semen.
and certainly not some mythicalish animal wad.
i don't eat mayo. so there is no 'conflict of interest' for me.

as a side note: 'conflict of interest' is my new excused catch-all around the house.

Posted by: gp at June 19, 2009 11:30 PM

What is this menu you speak of Kayanne?

Posted by: M at June 19, 2009 11:35 PM

nevermind, I just googled it. Now I get it. So who do I have to kill in order to get my hands on the secret rule book?

Posted by: M at June 19, 2009 11:38 PM

There's this guy used to hang around here, he whose name shall not be spoken but it rhymes with Ookie.

Him. He's dead to us anyway, but some of us think he still might climb out of the coffin.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 19, 2009 11:44 PM

OH NO! I loooove yogurt, too, gp. I hope I hope I hope I hope I won't remember that image when I probably have it for breakfast tomorrow.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 19, 2009 11:48 PM

No mayo? Do you people eat your BLT's dry? Such depravity.

Posted by: branded at June 20, 2009 12:09 AM

At last! A voice of reason in a sea of insanity.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 20, 2009 12:20 AM

Cant wait to see this even when I know its not going to be that great. Sandra Bullock is just funny and adorable. Met her in person and she's just as adorable onscreen. Very down to earth.
Quite the opposite from the old looking and barracudas like Katherine Heigl,Cameron Diaz,Maggie Gyllenhaal and Sienna Miller.

Posted by: pumpkin at June 20, 2009 12:22 AM

the review is right on the money.

first, ryan reynolds is a real talent and , second,movies are about entertainment. i saw this film in a crowded theater and everyone was buzzing happily as they exited. they had been entertained!!!

pajabians are infected with this assumed intellectual superiority which renders all romantic comedies as fair game. dustin generally lends support to this smug attitude but should be applauded for his objectivity here. he saw a movie and he liked. he even checked his instincts by seeing it a second time. he still liked it . good for you, dustin.

Posted by: snake at June 20, 2009 4:14 AM

I don't give a rat's ass about Dustin's mancrush on Reynolds, because I think most of the review is entirely separate from that, and because he's always entirely open about that. But interviewing the screenwriter of the weekend's big movie before the review goes up makes me edgy for reasons I can't quite verbalise. (Which isn't to say I won't try)

I saw the movie and wrote the review before I interviewed Chiarelli,

That much is clear from the interview, where you mention that Betty White steals the movie, but did the review stay completely untouched from then on? I ask because, reading through the review before reading the comments section and before re-reading yesterday's interview, I was struck by how both you and Chiarelli commented on Betty White's character specifically not being a "rapping granny", a phrase I don't think I'd ever heard before, and it seemed odd for the screenwriter's own description of the characters to make it into the final review. It kinda gave substance to the misgivings I felt when I saw the interview posted yesterday, because I remember seeing on this site before that the reason reviews are often a little late is that Pajiba staff eschew journalist previews (though I'm assuming you found some way to see the movie in advance for this one, to have seen it before yesterday's interview) because they make a site more beholden to the film companies and promoters.

Which is why it seemed weird to have the guy who wrote the movie (unusual enough in itself by Pajiba standards) telling you about how it's a modern screwball comedy written without leads in mind a day before you write a relatively positive review about how the movie's a modern screwball comedy written without leads in mind. I mean, if he had answered your questions differently and said "Actually, we wrote it as a Sandra Bullock vehicle, and Betty White was intended to be a rapping granny - the rap scene had to be cut for time issues", would your review have remained unchanged? Pajiba is one of two entertainment sites that I love, and the other (TWoP) has gone hugely downhill since being taken over by Bravo, because now its 'reviews' are thinly disguised schills. I'm very wary about something that seems to bring Pajiba even the tiniest bit in the same direction.


Oh, and to weigh in on the debate of real issue in this thread: mayonaisse, all the way. Seriously, what else do you put on a chicken baguette? Butter? NOTHING? You people make me sick!

Posted by: Shay at June 20, 2009 11:30 AM

R2D1

Bucdaddy, Have I told you lately that I *heart* you? I do.

pajabians are infected with this assumed intellectual superiority.....blah blah blah
Posted by: snake at June 20, 2009 4:14 AM

I've found this to be one of the few places where moments of intellectual inferiority are excused. Where a favourable opinion of an otherwise disliked movie/tv show/book/whatever are accepted. Yes, you are mostly likely razzed and raked over the coals for your blunder or differing view, but it is all done lovingly.
I invite you to re-read the comment thread, Snake, I think you will find there are a comparable number regular Pajibans defending Dustin's review of this movie as there are ridiculing him.

And finally, Mayo has it's place among sammich ingredients (and other dishes), but it is not the be-all end-all.

Posted by: Eyvi at June 20, 2009 12:44 PM

Can't we just agree that Miracle Whip is far superior?
In fact,
Mayo

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 20, 2009 2:57 PM

Maybe, but you can never tell me enough, Eyvi.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 20, 2009 5:17 PM

Whoa, it weirdly cut off the rest of that post. And it showed up in my Preview section...
Well, that's my fault for getting tricky with > and Mayo

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 20, 2009 5:43 PM

Now you listen here, Optimus J. Rhyme, you young whippersnapper. Miracle Whip is DISGUSTING and has nothing to do with mayonnaise.

That's it, mister. You and I are in a fight.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 20, 2009 5:49 PM

Long time reader of this site and I dont know what has been up with it the last few weeks - this and pelham 123 both blew hardcore - pelham worse than this but come on wtf? not in keeping with your usual tone step it up.

Posted by: eden at June 20, 2009 6:11 PM

Mayo is the devil's semen.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 20, 2009 6:22 PM

Without mayo, there are no Deviled Eggs. And that it truly the Devil's Work. Is that what you are doing, Paji-Mayo Haters? The Devil's Work?!

I knew it.

Posted by: stardust savant at June 20, 2009 7:36 PM

A nice turkey sandwich with a little Miracle Whip? You are missing out Mz. Von Beaverplatz.
And if that J stands for what I think it does then we really are fighting.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 20, 2009 8:02 PM

*innocent*

Isn't your middle name James?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 20, 2009 9:34 PM

Shay, I don't think using the phrase "rapping granny" shows any collusion- I've heard the phrase in reference to other older women. Ever since the rapping granny on The Wedding Singer, it's like shorthand for saying "the old woman who is hilariously up on popular culture". Or at least that's my interpretation of the phrase, anyway.

Posted by: Phaeolus at June 20, 2009 10:14 PM

What?!?!

I knew there was a reason I never eat any deviled eggs except the ones I make. I make the real ones. No mayo, no Miracle Whiz, no cream cheese, no crap, just what the Devil intended.

Egg yolks mashed up with enough mustard to bite back. Spooned back into egg whites, then dusted with paprika. My go-to dish for when I'm invited somewhere 'cuz people just love them.

All creamy white crap can go back where it came from. And I do mean all.

Posted by: bjs1109 at June 20, 2009 10:41 PM

That's it, Beav. It's on.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 21, 2009 1:20 AM

I ain't one fer puttin' hands on the ladyfolk and whatnot, but if'n yer gonna be cussin' the good name o' Miracle Whip, Miss Beverplatz I'm gonna do what yore daddy shoulda did and take you over mah knee and learn you a lesson.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 21, 2009 11:22 AM

Kayanne, I *heart* you too.

And although I try to avoid it at all costs, I have to go team mayo, too. I just cannot resist temptation at Belgian restaurants when they give you a plate of fries with a side of (yes) mayo to dip them in. Cannot...resist.


Yes, Belgian restaurants. They have the greatest beer lists.

Posted by: leuce7 at June 21, 2009 2:47 PM

Mmmm french fries with mayo..... Oh, great, now I have to go to the diner.

@ OJR: Oh, it's on all right. IN fact, it's already been broughten, and so it's on like Donkey Kong.

@ TB: Over your knee, you say? That sounds more like "fun" than like "punishment", per se.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 21, 2009 3:34 PM

UGH.

French Fries and Mayo. Vomit.

And that's coming from the girl who has dipped her fries in pretty much everything: ketchup, mustard, honey mustard, sweet and sour sauce, vinegar, apple cider vinegar, Frosty.

But Mayo & Fries is just unholy.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 21, 2009 5:39 PM

fries in a Frosty is MY FAVE!

Posted by: gp at June 21, 2009 7:10 PM

Kayanne, I bet you were the kid who mixed up all the ketchup and mustard and juice and sandwich scraps *gag* in a cup at lunch and grossed kids out when you asked them to drink it.
You and AvB, like some kind of axis of evil.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 21, 2009 7:50 PM

gp as if we needed any further indication of our "bestie" status.

Rhyme, firstly, go fuck yourself. Second, I was not that kid at all. As my friend Kelly would say, "vom dot com." The only lunch time trick I had was my ability to down a bottle of water in less than a minute, which I can still do today.

And how would you know what kids were doing in the lunch room? Weren't you hanging out in the library reading over Sylvia Plath novels. Go eat an em(ay)o sammich.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 21, 2009 8:38 PM

I said I would teach you a lesson, I didn't say studying had to be unpleasant. See people? This is how you bridge the mayo/Miracle Whip divide: double entendres and spanking.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 21, 2009 8:49 PM

Can we just cut to the chase and get a 90 minute film of Ry Ry naked and oiling himself up? Because really that's all I'm interested in, sorry.

(Don't really like Sandra Bullock, either.)

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at June 21, 2009 9:09 PM

You had friends in grade school Kayanne? I always saw you as the girl who hit puberty way too soon and towered over all the other kids causing them to fear you which only led to you inevitably lashing out and knocking him in the dirt and not letting him get up as you laughed over his curled up body.
Something like that can give a guy issues. He could be intimidated by women for the rest of his life if something like that happened.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 21, 2009 10:52 PM

Oh, Rhyme, now I'm beginning to understand. But no, I wasn't that girl and I wasn't even that girl's friend. Although, I do remember a boy constantly trying to create fights with me by thwacking me and getting me to chase him. My mom told me that was because he liked me. I told her that was a stupid way to show someone you like 'em. After that I didn't chase him any more.

But! I was the geeky tall girl with big glasses and socks that matched my outfit who always had her nose in a book. My third grade teacher's husband made fun of me for reading while walking saying that I'd trip or something, but I never did.

It's obvious who's the winner here.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 21, 2009 11:17 PM

Oh yeah. Those kind of motor skills totally trump pulling some Grade School Teacher strange.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 21, 2009 11:55 PM

There's really no way I could say that without sounding sarcastic but there was some sincerity there.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 21, 2009 11:57 PM

Bull shit, Rhyme. I may not have kicked your ass in grade school, but I can do it now.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 22, 2009 12:16 AM

Kayanne, I am a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and Brawn. You're just a woman with a small brain. A brain a third the size of us. That's just science.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 22, 2009 1:02 AM

I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.

Oh and before we run down the insults, not only do you look like a blueberry, but you have bad hair.

AND SAN DIEGO DOES NOT MEAN WHALE'S VAGINA IN GERMAN!

Posted by: Kayanne at June 22, 2009 1:08 AM

Why don't you go back to your home on WHORE ISLAND.
... Tits McGee.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 22, 2009 1:10 AM

Jazz flute is for little fairy boys.

Also... And this is awkward. But, Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 22, 2009 1:27 AM

Oh my. romCom debates, Mayo debates, family ties, and an Anchorman dessert?

I must de-lurk just for a second at the end of this thread...
Acivity is down here so i think its safe to say this thing that i often feel at the end of a particularly fun comments section..

i effin love pajiba. and pajibans. *sigh*

time to dive back below the surface

Posted by: VinKong at June 22, 2009 8:53 AM

Miracle Whip Miracle Whip Miracle Whip Miracle Whip.
All Mayo should be punched in the face.

Posted by: jamiepants at June 22, 2009 10:21 AM

VinKong,

We love you, too. *wink*

Posted by: Kayanne at June 22, 2009 11:00 AM

I saw it this weekend. I loved it. Great cast, great timing, good chemistry, beautiful scenery, throw in Betty White and you have a winner.

Considering the shit fests of late masquerading as romantic comedies, dare I mention Ghost's of Girlfriends Past, Fool's Gold, Knocked Up, well The Proposal comes off as "high art" in comparison.

I'm happy that Reynolds is finally getting his due. I have been a fan since, Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, ahh Berg. Good times. Besides it ain't easy pulling off that kind of dry sarcastic wit and not come off looking and sounding like an asshole. And yeah, I would lick the sweat off his abs.

And I like Sandra Bullock. People need to remember making someone cry is easy, making someone laugh is hard.

Posted by: allheavnes at June 22, 2009 1:52 PM

I found out today that an alumnus from my school, with whom I have rarely conversed, was the production designer for this film. So now I am merely two lonely degrees away from the sextastic RyRey. Grrrrr...

Plus, I admit I laughed out loud during the "to the windows" scene. Loudly, and for a while. Even though that damn song got stuck in my head.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at July 2, 2009 11:20 AM





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