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'The Other Woman' Is the Movie Where Jamie Lannister Sh*ts His Suit Pants

By Dustin Rowles | Film Reviews | April 25, 2014 | Comments ()


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One day, in the not too distant future, The Other Woman — starring Leslie Mann, Cameron Diaz, and Kate Upton — is going to make for one hell of a great YouTube clip. It’s a thoroughly rotten film that plays out exactly like you’d expect it to, plus half an hour of excruciating fill-time, but there is one triumphantly glorious, sublimely hilarious scene, and as soon as someone loads it up onto YouTube, it’s going to become part of every Game of Thrones meme for the next four years.

Jamie Lannister sh*ts his pants. The gag itself is generic, one that’s been used in 464 movies and television shows already. One of the women who Mark King has scorned — in this case, Cameron Diaz’s character, Carly — sprinkles some laxative into his drink while they’re at a restaurant, and the results are predictable, except for one thing: This is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, f*cking Jamie Lannister, and he’s decked out in a sharp suit and looking dapper as f*ck, so when he starts sweating, farting, and blowing mudd while flailing around in a bathroom stall, he’s like a Chris Farley character trapped in the body of Patrick Bateman. It’s hilarious. If there’s one nice thing to come out of The Other Woman, it’s the knowledge that Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is an unexpectedly excellent physical comedian, a talent he wonderfully puts on display again in the film’s climactic finale.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is funny. The movie is not. It’s a tedious trip through a storyline I feel like we’ve walked through half a dozen times before: The wife (Leslie Mann), the mistress (Cameron Diaz), and the hot, younger girlfriend (Kate Upton) team up and bond over the fact that they’re all being lied to by Mark King, who is cheating on all of them. The bonding portion of the film unfortunately takes up the first two miserable acts, as Diaz and Mann’s character — and later, Upton’s — painfully yammer circles around their predicament over glasses of wine. It’s not until an hour and a half into the two-hour film that it suddenly occurs to them to get revenge, and that’s when The Other Woman rises slightly above braindead and transforms into an unpleasant Chuck Lorre sitcom.

Mann delivers a scene or two of decent physical comedy, Diaz plays the straight woman with little enthusiasm, and Upton — she’s very pretty, and seems awfully nice, and I hope she invests her modeling money well. Only Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as the philandering douchebag acquits himself respectfully, and that’s only because he allows himself to put aside his dignity and writhe around sweatily on a toilet seat shooting flaming liquid poo from his ass. It’s juvenile, and dumb, but that juxtaposition with what we expect from the typically dashing and stylish Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is exactly what makes it work.

Unfortunately, everything else about The Other Woman resembles the wreck that left in the toilet when he’s finished with it.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Claire

    I actually get what you're saying here. It's somewhat how I felt about the awful remake of "The Women" that came out years ago that had a scene in which Meg Ryan's character confronts Eva Mendes' character for having an affair with her husband. This takes place in a lingerie store. At the very end, Ryan looks at her in a sexy corset and panties and declared that her husband wouldn't like anything so trashy. So what does Mendes do? She turns around and says, "If he doesn't like what I'm wearing, I'll just take it off."

    I never wanted to give a mistress, fictional or real, a slow clap before that moment but I did. The one character I was supposed to hate in that movie became the one I liked the most because of that scene.

  • Cheetahdriver

    They have tried remaking "The Women" three (?four?) times, and since the original George Cukor version is the Platonic Ideal of the movie, I have not bothered to see any of the others. The reviews have validated this choice.

    Besides, how are you going to best Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russel, et al?

  • Cowtools

    I actually didn't despise this movie with the fire of a thousand suns, the way most critics seem to.

    It was a weird experience: It was like three types of films were jammed together: a funny buddy comedy about two women forming an unlikely friendship, an excruciating gross-out comedy, and a limp Trading Places wannabe where the scamees turn the table on the scammer.

    It felt as if someone had written a script for a Bridemaids-style slightly ribald but mostly character-based female-centric comedy, and then they spontaneously decided to dump a bunch of poop and transphobic jokes in. That schtick takes up fifteen minutes of the film, but it's all any critic talks about.

    It's a shame because the opening hour I found quite fun, thanks to Mann's uninhibited Kristen Wiig-on-helium performance.

    tl;dr: There's no reason this film had to be so awful.

  • Anne At Large

    So basically, I should go home and watch The Women while looking at pictures of Jaime Lannister? Sold!

  • Drake

    So, not to get my male-privileged knickers in a knot, but just imagine how this movie would play out with the genders reversed.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Obviously, she would be a slattern and a whore and deserve everything she got.

  • Bananapanda

    Bonus points for 'slattern'. Tip o' the hat to you, madame.

  • Merski

    Why, WHY is shitting/farting somehow considered comedy?! I can feel Louis C.K. frowning at me but I don't get it!!

  • Uriah_Creep

    I wish to join the "indiscriminate shitting is not funny" club. That was easlily the worst part of Bridesmaids.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I don't either. It's just so vulgar is the word that I want to use, but that makes me sound pretentious. I suppose unnecessary would be a better term. It's simultaneously disgusting and boring.

  • BWeaves

    Why, WHY is shitting/farting somehow considered comedy?

    I've been asking my Dad that for over 50 years. He still gets the giggles. I don't get it.

  • TK

    Wait, you're telling me that it's not good?

    http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.ne...

  • JoeK

    "unpleasant Chuck Lorre sitcom"

    You've satisfied your recommended daily allowance of redundancy and it's not even quitting time. Kudos.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I...I don't want to see that. It doesn't even sound funny to me. That was my least favorite scene in Bridesmaids, so....no. No to this. (not that I expected it to be a yes.)

    I feel like I need more scathe in this review.

  • ljridley

    From Linda Holmes review on Monkey See:

    "I know what you're thinking: "Enough beating around the bush. Just tell us whether you liked it!" Consider this, which I will say in terms this movie would understand: If you were on an airplane,The Other Woman might not be preferable to simply staring into your empty airsick bag, but it has enough nicely executed physical comedy that in the event you become ill, it is definitely preferable to staring into your occupied airsick bag. This is what we've got, girls. This is what's on offer. Use your judgment."

  • Mrs. Julien

    I would imagine that after watching so many bad movies, even Dustin gets a little worn down sometimes. Perhaps he's too distracted by evaluating how his life has come to this to be scathing.

  • Lannister children movies of 2014:

    Cersei: 300: Rise of an Empire
    Jamie: The Other Woman
    Tyrion: X-Men: Days of Future Past

    Proving once again that Tyrion is the smartest of them.

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