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Play It Again, Miley!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (51)



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The latest Nicholas Sparks’ cinematic adaptation to hit the Silver Screen, The Last Song, is just plain brutal. Brutally awesome, that is! There have been a number of dubious naysayers who didn’t believe that Miley Cyrus could translate her success in the music world to that of the film world, but I’m here to say: The haters are W-R-O-N-G. If anything, in The Last Song, Cyrus proves herself to be an even better actress than singer, and that’s saying something! She’s proven her ability to succeed without that Hannah Montana nom de plume around her neck. I’m calling it right now, World: Miley Cyrus is the next next Julia Roberts, and we can all expect her to be around for decades to come.

In The Last Song, the hottest pop star on the planet plays Ronnie, a New Yorker who has just graduated high school and been accepted into Juilliard. Here’s the catch: She hasn’t played the piano in years, not since her Mom (Kelly Preston) and Dad (Greg Kinnear) split. In the movie, Ronnie has to spend the summer with her somewhat estranged dad in a southern beach town. Ronnie rocks combat boots and a sullen facade while she walks to beach to avoid her Dad. There, a volleyball player Will (Liam Hemsworth, lil bro of the future Thor, Chris Hemsworth) accidentally knocks her milkshake all over her, and sparks fly instantly. Because her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!

The romance, nonetheless, isn’t an easy one. Ronnie is reluctant at first, but warms up to Will once he stays the night with her out on the beach, where they set up to keep raccoons away from unprotected turtle eggs. Awwwwwww! There also comes a potential roadblock when Ronnie thinks that Will’s a player, but it turns out that Ronnie really is special. Their romance blossoms, and as it does, Ronnie and her Dad gradually get closer to one another as they discuss her burgeoning relationship with Will.

Things were going really great for Ronnie and Will, and Ronnie and her Dad for a while, and then Boom! About an hour and fifteen minutes into the movie, the whole world crashes around them. It wouldn’t be right to spoil what happens, but I want to say it broke my heart in three. You’re not going to see it coming at all, which makes it all the more devastating.

Cyrus plays it perfectly, going through a series of personalities in the film, from sullen teenager, to adorable girlfriend, to suffering daughter dealing with her father’s impending death from lung cancer. She has an amazing range, and there wasn’t a moment in The Last Song when I wasn’t fully convinced by her performance. After about 30 seconds into the film, I completely forgot she was Miley Cyrus: All I could see was Ronnie Miller, a beautiful teenager being put through a ringer of emotion. Liam Hemsworth was also perfect as the blonde, ab-erific boyfriend with a heartwarming smile. Bobby Coleman, further, played Jonah, Miley’s little brother in the movie, who is so supportive of his Dad that he makes a plate glass window for him before he dies.

The only real downside to this poignant tearjerker is Greg Kinnear, who felt a little out of place in this movie. It wasn’t that he was bad necessarily, it was just that I was never really convinced he was Miley Cyrus’ father. I think they would’ve been better off casting someone more like Billy Ray Cyrus, because at times, Kinnear’s presence took me out of the tender action. I just think another actor would’ve been better suited for the end of the movie, when the Dad dies. But that wasn’t nearly enough to detract from this otherwise perfect movie, which I have no choice but to give a perfect score to: 5 !!!!!


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Comments

second!

Posted by: logar at April 1, 2010 3:02 PM

FIRST!

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:02 PM

First?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 1, 2010 3:03 PM

Goddamn... I cnan't get anyting rite!

Posted by: logar at April 1, 2010 3:04 PM

She's just so pretty.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 1, 2010 3:04 PM

Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:06 PM

Enthusiastic comment supporting the review!!

Posted by: S.K. at April 1, 2010 3:06 PM

I feel good just reading this review, I can't wait to see how the actual film makes me feel!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 1, 2010 3:07 PM

i WEOZ JUS THIS MOMENT SAYING THAT mILEY CYRUS SHOOD REPLACE kirsten as Bella Swan. This Just PROOOVES IT!!111

I am rite, so so rite!1

*runs arownd in circles squeeing*

Posted by: SparklesNsquee at April 1, 2010 3:07 PM

I like how the review talks about the movie

Posted by: rich diculous at April 1, 2010 3:10 PM

Angelina is a SLUT

Miley should always be cast, Angelina is a Slut times like a billion trillion, OMGosh U R stoopid

Posted by: SparklesNsquee at April 1, 2010 3:10 PM

Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:10 PM

Miley is not a slut! She works really hard.

Angelina is a homewrecker!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 1, 2010 3:11 PM

Posted by: SparklesNsquee at April 1, 2010 3:10 PM

You need to get an education, skank, you like Miley then your just like her, I feel sorry for your kids.

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:13 PM

MILEY HAS THE PRETTIEST HAIR, omg you can just tell from the pic how good she is at playing piano, i tried it once but its sooooooooooo hard!!!! miley is so talenteddddd!!!!!!

Posted by: S.K. at April 1, 2010 3:13 PM

Angelina is a homewrecker!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 1, 2010 3:11 PM

----------------------------------------------

Go back to watching your Maniston DVDs.

Friends was like 10 years ago, so get a life two.

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:14 PM

Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut
Angelina should have been cast, Miley is a slut

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:16 PM

Angelina like, could be Miley's momz and stuff. ewww.

Posted by: logar at April 1, 2010 3:18 PM

I can't wait for this day to end.

Posted by: Stella at April 1, 2010 3:19 PM

18th!!!

cuz its liek my fav numberrrrr

Posted by: schrome at April 1, 2010 3:20 PM

you leave miley alone, what is your problem, she is so pretty and you WISH YOU WERE that wpretty, or that aneline was so pretty, miley is the greatest i wish she were my best friend! osmetimes i thin kshe really is my best friend and that we braid each othres hair, except my hair isn't long enough to braid, but for miley i would fgrow it that long so that she could braid it!!!!! ,maybe i should grow it so long just in case and keep it unbraided just iun case miley comes al0ong and wants to braid it, i dont want her to say ""WHy is your hair alread braidd when i wanted to braidit' and then get soooo mad at me, that wd be terrible, you guyz im gonna go grow my hair long RIGHT NOW miley is the best.

Posted by: S.K. at April 1, 2010 3:21 PM

omg you guys i cant breath i love miley.

Posted by: S.K. at April 1, 2010 3:22 PM

You know what will be the funniest? The look on people's faces tomorrow that just discovered the site today, and like it.

Posted by: logar at April 1, 2010 3:25 PM

Who the heck is Greg Kinnear? I checked Google, looks like he was in an episode of Friends. Then a bunch of movies that no one ever watched. Maybe The Last Song will help his career. Miley could probably give him some tips lol!

Posted by: sillytwoshoes at April 1, 2010 3:27 PM

At first I was all "are you kidding me?" Then I realized it was April 1st and was reminded that I am a moron.

Posted by: rene at April 1, 2010 3:29 PM

I LUV SMILEY AND JUSTIN KNOWLES DID A GR8 REVEIW I AM SO HAPPY I FOUND THIS SIGHT LUV YOU GUYZ!!!!!!

Posted by: TSF at April 1, 2010 3:30 PM

Never thought of it that way before. They'll fall in love. Read everything they can. maybe even comment...then tomorrow when a reviewer jams his fist up a movie's ass and shatters its spine...they'll fall out of love. Go to a cemetery. And write bad poetry in their tiny leather-bound journals.

Posted by: PissBoy (Formerly TinkleYoungMan) at April 1, 2010 3:31 PM

If I can depart from the April Foolery for a moment (we really need an unsarcasm font today)...

That was fantastic. In fact, I think it was even more effective that a typical scathing and bitchy review would have been at completely exposing an empty, cloying little film like this. It's the offhand spoiler in the second to last line that elevates it to art, and that subtlety is a much vehicle for your disdain than the bluntness of the Bangkok Dangerous review.

Just when the silliness was starting to wear a little thin, Dustin brings a pitch-perfect review that absolutely eviscerates the Last Song. Sincerely, well done.

Posted by: Yossarian at April 1, 2010 3:31 PM

This movie would have been just perfect with the original casting choice of Billy Ray as the boyfriend. Let Angelina try to wreck that home!
Any collectables available for this movie? Miley Cyrus hot pants? Billy Ray fright wig? Miley Cyrus soylent green?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 1, 2010 3:33 PM

OMG! I freakin luv Nicohlas Sparks. Hiz m0vies are like my r3eal life. I am s0 hAppY to C U f!nalLy talking bout de B3$t writ3R evA!

Posted by: Nimue at April 1, 2010 3:35 PM

YOSSRAIN MAKEZ MY BRAIN HURT

Posted by: TSF at April 1, 2010 3:38 PM

Two Nicholas Sparks reviews in one day! I Lurve you Pajiba 2.0 hole!

Posted by: admingirl186 at April 1, 2010 3:39 PM

omg you guys i cant breath i love miley.

Posted by: S.K. at April 1, 2010 3:22 PM
------------------------------------------
Does your mommy KNOW you are using the computer in her trailer, or is she out boinking one of you're uncles/cousins/brothers.

Posted by: Angelina is a Goddess(formerly BarbadoSlim) at April 1, 2010 3:40 PM

Thank you for not ruining this film for me. I can't wait to see it tomorrow night.

Posted by: opiejuankenopie at April 1, 2010 3:41 PM

Nimue, best stop it now dude, before you risk getting as brain damaged as who you're acting as.

I'm ashamed at how much fun it was pretending to be an illiterate Jacob from Twilight and Miley Cyrus worshiping fangirl; it scared me.

Posted by: SparklesNsquee at April 1, 2010 3:46 PM

I'd rip them both to shreds with my MASSIVE GENITALS

the girl and the dude

Posted by: MASSIVEGENITALIA at April 1, 2010 3:47 PM

Thanks for the great review, Dustin. I really appreciate it when you don't give away the ending!!!!!

Posted by: Wednesday at April 1, 2010 3:59 PM

HA!

Posted by: Sean at April 1, 2010 4:06 PM

I learned how to do that trolling MySpace at my job. Teenagers seriously do that. At first it was impossible to figure out what the hell they were talking about.

Posted by: Nimue at April 1, 2010 4:10 PM

"It wouldn’t be right to spoil what happens [...]
her father’s impending death from lung cancer."
Dude, thanks for spoiling the film. Asshole.

Posted by: mireee at April 1, 2010 4:55 PM

May I say this? My balls

Posted by: Robb at April 1, 2010 5:52 PM

Yesterday, I passed a theater emptying from this shitfest on my way to learning how to control my unruly dragon and a group of fifsixthir-teen year olds were huddled around each other, sniffling and wiping under their eyes. That told me just about everything I needed to know.

Posted by: Jean at April 1, 2010 10:04 PM

Now all those haters can see just how betiful and talended Miley is!!! Haters can just go hate them selves.

Posted by: shake at April 1, 2010 10:29 PM

and been accepted into Juilliard. Here’s the catch: She hasn’t played the piano in years
---
Wait ... you have to be able to pass a basic piano proficiency test to get into a place like Julliard. So how did she ...

Oh, wait, I was trying to make logical sense out of this pile of poo. I just April fooled myself! Haha!!!

I think I'm going to stay ! I like them, they're like ,s only fully erect.

*looks at pix of Miley*

, - / !

See!

Posted by: ! at April 2, 2010 1:02 AM

Serious note, we're keeping the new look of the site right?

Posted by: Jean at April 2, 2010 6:39 AM

two words... osmond teeth.

Posted by: kikz at April 2, 2010 10:47 AM

a great scam but if the spoiler is accurate then it's, well,
a spoiler.

Posted by: snake at April 2, 2010 11:08 AM

This is one of the worst reviews i have ever read. You're opinion is completely ridiculous, and i wonder if we're even talking about the same movie. that was some of the worst acting i have ever seen in a movie. I'm not even referring to cyrus' pathetic performance as a so-called distraught daughter, I'm talking about every character that has lines. The story itself was touching enough to get me a little teary eyed, (mostly when i saw the look on the little brother's face every time he cries) what with a father leaving his children due to cancer, but I couldn't get past how horrible each person portrayed their character on screen. They should have cast different people, especially for a role such as critical as Ronnie, because it was so unbelievable, and all i could see was stupid, childish miley cyrus the whole time. two thumbs down.

Posted by: Danielle at April 12, 2010 4:08 AM

so actually i was only looking for her
goddamn lovely boots she was wearing in the movie.

well, talking about the movie.
i just saw it today and i loved it. simple.
i read the book and there were differences, sure,
but it was pretty well made, and i do not care what
all miley-haters say, i though her acting was pretty good.
and i'm definitely not one of her hanna montana fans. so i think all the haters should calm down, step back for a moment and fucking don't care.
i mean a lot of people didn't even give her a chance, she made a good job here and i don't care
if she half naked danced on a pole or wore some stupid wig and plastic smiley face.
the movie was good, and the end.

Posted by: _lullaby at May 6, 2010 5:05 PM

I disagree with the comment of "Billy Ray Cyrus should have been cast for the part of the father."
If he had, that would of been just silly. I found it hard enough at the beginning to pretend Miley wasn't playing Hannah Montana.
As the movie progressed, I was able to accept her acting as a completely different role and ended up enjoying the movie but, if Billy Ray had been cast, I'm afraid there would be no way I could look past her previous Hannah Montana role.

Posted by: Sam at August 19, 2010 10:22 PM

I went to the theater with my mom to see this movie. I really enjoyed it. I loved the scenes with Miley and Liam. I think they make a great couple. The little brother had me laughing very hard when he kept spying on the two, and acted like he was in the Army. I don’t think anyone else would have been able to do that part. It broke my heart when the father died, and it made me think about my own father. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him. I don’t agree with people who say that this movie was too long, or that it was boring. I was hooked from the very beginning, and I didn’t want it to end. My mom and I recently picked up some copies of the DVD to give out at Christmas. I did a copy for myself of course.

Posted by: hd movie at November 27, 2010 1:27 AM