web
counter
 

Mashed Potato

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (56)



the_didadlemma04.jpg

The best thing about The Dilemma is Channing Tatum. That’s how bad The Dilemma is, folks. Everyone in this film is upstaged by Charming Potato. Pro Tip: When you find yourself looking forward to the next scene featuring a fucking spud, you know you’re having a bad movie experience.

The Dilemma is a comedy in the same way that another Vince Vaughn movie, The Break-Up, was a comedy, which is to say: The four or five dimly humorous moments in the film are highlighted in the trailer and it’s sold as a comedy. Really, though, it’s more of a relationship drama with a few stabs at humor. But unlike The Break-Up, which wasn’t a very good movie but still managed to hit a few notes about the disintegration of a relationship that rang true, nothing rings true in The Dilemma.

The “Bro Code” is a movie construct, people. It’s not real. When a woman cheats on a husband, the central dynamic there is between the man and his cheating wife. The focus is never on the best friend who knew about it and tortured himself about whether to tell the wronged husband. Let’s be honest: In the real world, he keeps that shit to himself. It’s not his business. Let the other guy find out. And if he finds out that you knew before him, chances are, he’s going to be too distraught over the fact that his wife is fucking a potato to really care that much about whether you knew.

But The Dilemma takes that mental sideshow and blows it up large. Two excruciating hours large. And because Ron Howard is a Serious Director with Oscar Nominations™, he’s not the kind of guy who is going to resort to cheap gags. If there was ever a movie that could use a cheap gag or seven, it’s The Dilemma. Granted, it’s nice to see Kevin James in a role that’s not about his ability to sweat profusely, do a goofy dance, or knock someone over with his gut, but any of that might have been a welcome respite from Howard’s tedious attempts to give dimension to his high concept.

A “high concept,” by its very definition, is “an artistic work that can be easily described by a succinctly stated premise.” Audiences simply accept high concepts and brace for the (usually bad) comedy that grows out of them. But the more you dwell upon the nature of the high concept, the more you expose the flimsiness of the premise.

Here, Ron Howard is so focused upon making his high concept believable that he completely forgets about the comedy that’s supposed to flow out of it. The end result is a belabored relationship drama that rests on this weak premise: Ronny (Vince Vaughn) catches the wife (Winona Ryder) of his best friend (Kevin James) sleeping with another man (The Potato) and spends the rest of the film wrestling with whether to tell him. There are a couple of other factors in play: The best friend, Nick, is under a deadline to build an electric engine that works beneath the frame of a Dodge muscle car and the wife, Geneva, also insists that there are much bigger problems in their marriage besides the fact that she’s sleeping with a potato. The other element at play is that Ronny is also working toward asking his long-term girlfriend, Beth (Jennifer Connelly), to marry him, but he won’t tell her about the issue he’s facing with his best friend, so naturally she thinks he’s gambling.

That last strand of the plot tells you exactly how far-fetched the premise is: What person saddled with someone else’s secret doesn’t immediately tell their partner? There is an understanding with most couples, right? If one partner knows, so does the other. If given a salacious bit of gossip, the first person I’m always going to tell is my wife. That’s the nature of relationships.

But screenwriter Allan Loeb doesn’t understand relationships because Allan Loeb (The Switch, the upcoming Miley Cyrus spy comedy, I’m, Like, So Undercover) doesn’t understand anything except how to collect a paycheck. Good comedy comes from an honest place, and Allan Loeb wouldn’t know an honest place if it crushed his fat fucking head. I’m just surprised that Howard — who can recognize comedy enough to produce “Sports Night” and “Arrested Development” — even got involved in this in the first place. It’s a waste of his mediocre directing talents, a waste of a decent cast, a wasted opportunity for Winona Ryder to show us what she’s still got, and most criminal of all, a waste of a perfectly good potato.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



Vince Vaughn Career Assessment | Daddy Got the Rainman Suite & He Sh*t All Over It | Hanging on in Quiet Desperation is the American Way | Survivor Jumps All the Sharks









Comments

It all became a confusing blur and I had to stop. The hell IS this?

Posted by: Jay at January 14, 2011 3:07 PM

Reading this drivel I feel marginally better about the fact that Gael Garcia Bernal is in a movie with Kate Hudson.

It's all relative*, I guess.

*It used to be all about balance but now that I am apparently not a Libra anymore, I could give a rat's ass about balance.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 14, 2011 3:13 PM

"When you find yourself looking forward to the next scene featuring a fucking spud, you know you’re having a bad movie experience."

Ahem! We Irish beg to differ.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 14, 2011 3:20 PM

Well, at least he got his potato au gratin-ed.

Posted by: admin at January 14, 2011 3:32 PM

If he gets caught, it might get scalloped!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 14, 2011 3:32 PM

And a Happy Movie Year it's starting to be with drama comedy.

Damn!

Posted by: Jean at January 14, 2011 3:35 PM

Hmmm. Well it seems I am now a Libra myself. Guess I better get more concerned about balance now. That I've lost my cool Scorpio status.

Posted by: Lillie at January 14, 2011 3:37 PM

Definitely right about partners telling each other everything. Mr. Snuggie is like top level unbreakable CIA--I know nothing I tell him will go beyond him. I tell him EVERYTHING I know. If I knew my best friend was getting cheated on, he'd be the first and only person I'd tell. And we'd both shake our heads over it and it wouldn't go past us. But sharing salacious bits of gossip with each other was practically written into our vows (along with the fact that he is contractually obligated to root for the Aggies for life or longer). So, yeah.

Also yes on the "bro code" thing. And I knew this movie would be shite the moment I saw Vince Vaughn was in it. I CANNOT BELIEVE I used to get him mixed up with Vincent D'Onofrio!

Posted by: Snuggiepants at January 14, 2011 3:38 PM

Okay, I am blanking out on why CTates is a potato?

Posted by: Stacey at January 14, 2011 3:39 PM

A Miley Cyrus spy comedy?? I’m, Like, So Undercover???

Really? For real??

Shit like that furthers my conviction that we don't have much longer as a society.

Posted by: boscobarbell at January 14, 2011 3:40 PM

Question:

2. What kind of potato is his wife fucking?

Are we talking Sweet potatoes? Adirondack Blue? Adirondack Red? Agata? Almond? Amandine? Anya? Arran Victory? Atlantic? Bamberg? Belle de Fontenay? BF-15? Bildtstar? Bintje? Blue Congo? Bonnotte? Cabritas? Camota? Chelina? Chiloé? Cielo? Clavela Blanca? Désirée? Fianna? Fingerling? Flava? Golden Wonder? Innovator? Jersey Royal? Kerr's Pink? Kestrel? King Edward? Kipfler? Lady Balfour? Linda? Marfona? Maris Piper? Marquis? Nicola? Pachacoña? Pink Eye? Pink Fir Apple? Primura? Ratte? Red Norland? Red Pontiac? Rooster?Russet Burbank? Russet Norkotah? Shepody? Sieglinde? Sirco? Spunta? Stobrawa? Vivaldi? Vitelotte? Finn? Yukon Gold?

It was one of those genetically-engineered potatoes, wasn't it? Oh yah. Winona definitely fucked a genetically-engineered potato. Slut.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 14, 2011 3:43 PM

L.O.V.E.

You forgot charming in your list.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 14, 2011 3:44 PM

I had no idea Channing was in this until I saw the words "smashed potato." That's how well you people have conditioned my mind - any potato references on here (and many in the real world) now instantly remind me of Channing.

Posted by: Markus at January 14, 2011 3:44 PM

Are those seriously all names for potatoes? I thought at first they might be brands of condoms.

Posted by: Lillie at January 14, 2011 3:46 PM

Wait? There's a type of potato called Aryan Victory? Oh, nevermind. I misread it.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 14, 2011 3:55 PM

I was going to ask in what universe does someone like Kevin James get Winona Ryder as his wife, and then I googled pics of Kevin James and his real wife (she's hotter than W.R.) and now I'm fucking depressed.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 14, 2011 3:59 PM

Golden Wonders are fabulous potatoes: great for making chips and crips. My brother-in-law swears by the Maris Piper: won;t plant anything else. But my all-time favourite is the Kerr-Pink. A few brand new Kerr-pinks lightly boiled with a sprinkling of salt and fresh butter, now that's food for the Gods.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 14, 2011 4:06 PM

This is how gossip is shared by my husband:
"Mom told me my sister is pregnant, but she doesn't want anyone to know." Me: "Which sister?"
Him "I forgot to ask."

If this movie was about the two of us, the whole plot would have been that Vince came home told Jennifer that Winona probably needed to talk to her about something to do with Kevin and that he and the guys were going to go get some beers. Then he would have told Kevin that he ran into his wife earlier in the day and she seemed upset. Then he would have removed it from his brain because it wasn't relevant to computers, cars, sports or his son.

Posted by: Jennifer at January 14, 2011 4:12 PM

Mrs. Julien, I think that variety is suffering from blight.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 14, 2011 4:21 PM

Really? NO ONE would tell a friend if you saw proof his spouse was cheating on him? Can this become a comment diversion? I mean, for health reasons if nothing else....

damn, people. Stick your heads in the sand.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 14, 2011 4:28 PM

THEyourheadsSAND

Done. Now what?

Posted by: Kargoyle at January 14, 2011 4:31 PM

Ron Howard is a mediocre director? When did this become a widely accepted opinion?

Posted by: ThatGuy at January 14, 2011 4:38 PM

BWeaves, your point is still valid. Famous/rich Kevin James gets Winona Ryder. Non-famous schlub Kevin James gets the non-famous version of Winona Judd.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 14, 2011 4:38 PM

This whole thread is twice baked.

Posted by: admin at January 14, 2011 4:38 PM

Agreed, Sara Tonin. A good friend told me that my ex from years ago was cheating on me. I thanked her profusely and respected her all the more for it.

There'd be nothing worse than being deceived by your supposed loved one, and then your friends let the deception pass unchecked as well.

Posted by: Goldie at January 14, 2011 4:48 PM

I assume you ask ThatGuy because you think mediocre is too high a praise? I concur. He is a Lifetime movie level talent.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 14, 2011 5:05 PM

everyone is talking about potatoes in the wake of rowles dropping the pajitruism that one wouldn't tell their best friend he was being cuckolded?

friend: "oh my god, my wife is cheating, i am distraught"

me: "yeah, I know, i figured it out three years ago, but thought, y'know, it wasn't my business. so glad it's out in the open now, it's really sucked watching you trapped obliviously in a nightmare. especially after more and more people knew. so, go grab a beer?"

if i found out a friend did that to me, i'd punch him until he was mashed potatoes.

Posted by: idleprimate at January 14, 2011 5:48 PM

I'm not sure about the telling/not telling thing. Quite recently I had two couples (close friends) who had varying degrees of evidence that I was being cheated on while I was out of town for an extended period of time. Nobody told me. Turns out she was. The couple with the stronger evidence/suspicious had only know for about ten days before I found out, but I doubt they ever would've said anything.

I don't know, but I think I would tell them. At the very least I would have discussions with mutual friends.

Posted by: pissant at January 14, 2011 6:10 PM

From the previews, it actually appeared that The Potato was the only one who seemed to be in on the joke (that he was in a shitty movie), so I'm not surprised he's the best part.

Posted by: MM at January 14, 2011 6:34 PM

I've watched the trailer a couple of times and agree that Charming Potato is good here. Not relatively good. Good. He's funny AND charming.

The rest, just annoying.

Posted by: SittingPat at January 14, 2011 6:38 PM

So, Vince Vaughn doesn't even try to get Winona to come clean or dump the spud? That's just sitcom 101.

For me, I think the only reason there would be a "dilemma" is if I was equally good friends with both partners. That's where the shaking of heads and staying quiet might come into play. Otherwise, yeah, I'm telling my friend.

Posted by: RobP at January 14, 2011 6:45 PM

Yeah, seriously I would hate if this happened to me and a friend didn't tell me.

And more importantly, I just learned that dilemma was spelled that way. I have always thought it was 'dilemna' but this movie and Firefox spell check just proved me wrong.

Posted by: juicyjui at January 14, 2011 6:59 PM

Yeah seriously, that whole "code of silence" bullshit has always seemed so fucked up to me.

Posted by: Poptart at January 14, 2011 9:14 PM

Winona was in HEATHERS
Jennifer was in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM

And now they're in this crap?

Stuff like this makes me kinda sad sometimes.

Posted by: KC at January 14, 2011 9:53 PM

BWeaves If you can get a pretty girl to laugh (not at you) you got a real shot.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at January 14, 2011 10:07 PM

Hee. I love that you've taken the Potato concept and run so far with it. It made the review infinitely funnier than the actual movie could ever be.

Incidentally, I was laughing so hard at the potato thing that MrFig asked what was up. I tried to explain, and he just gave me a Look.

Some people just don't get the genius of Pajiba and it makes me sad in my heart.

Posted by: Figgy at January 14, 2011 11:32 PM

Agreed KC, but I'd swap Heathers with Edward Scissorhands...because I love that fucking movie.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 15, 2011 1:34 AM


some people would tell, some wouldn't,blah, blah, blah ..........

the essential point her is that the efforts of a talented director
and talented cast have produced a lousy movie that feels like it is
about 5 hours long and has one of the dumbest endings ever.
a great review by dustin and a prime example that a lousy
script cannot be salvaged.

Posted by: snake at January 15, 2011 1:50 AM

Rowles I have to disagree on two points.
1. You're best bud's special lady friend is getting some strange on the side? You drop that bomb, and just get ready for the burn.
2.But instead of supporting your loyal friend, and letting him know something he NEEDS to know. You would tell the person you sleep with...That seems like you've given yourself how much rope? Perhaps, yes I believe that is exactly enough to hang yourself. Be a man. Get that shit out in the open. Then when you're buddy is a blubbering mess. Buy him a beer take him out to meet a nice lady. That's your job.

Posted by: Blank at January 15, 2011 10:07 AM

These potato jokes aren't funny anymore. It was mildly funny when someone referred to him as Charming Potato the first time and really lame the next 1000 times. Get a new joke.

Posted by: elgarcon at January 15, 2011 10:36 AM

I don't mean to take credit where it isn't due, but I think i'm the "mildly funny" individual you're referring to? (Feb 6th last year Dear John review +drunken Mikey) If so, thanks! Regardless, you are wrong. Charming Potato, regardless of its origin, has, I dare to say, increased the man's fanbase in addition to being wonderful, and bringing us this wonderfully punny review. It used to be that people on this site would see Channing Tatum in an upcoming movie and write it off. Now people see Charming Potato in an upcoming movie and chuckle to themselves. THEN they write it off. But now that our favorite tater has stolen an entire movie, I think you're just going to have to get used to it.

Posted by: MikeyLikesIt at January 15, 2011 11:40 AM

I think I'm only a spud boy
Lookin' for that real tomato.

Posted by: , at January 15, 2011 11:46 AM

Every time I read Channing Tatum's name, I see "Charming Potato". Conversely, and ironically, when I see Charming Potato, I read it as "Channing Tatum". Quite frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Posted by: RobP at January 15, 2011 12:19 PM

Better to fuck a dude whose nickname is Potato than to fuck the two dudes in this movie who actually looks like potatoes.

Posted by: duckandcover at January 15, 2011 4:26 PM

Golden Wonders are fabulous potatoes: great for making chips and crips.

PaddyDog, would you agree that this gives them an unfair advantage over the Bloods? :3

Posted by: duckandcover at January 15, 2011 4:33 PM

Let’s be honest: In the real world, he keeps that shit to himself. It’s not his business. Let the other guy find out.
If given a salacious bit of gossip, the first person I’m always going to tell is my wife. That’s the nature of relationships.

What the f?
What a great thing to be your friend, Dustin.

Posted by: james at January 15, 2011 8:38 PM

Dustin, you started eliminating the comments you dislike the most when they call you on your shit and then you say you wouldn't tell your friend their partner is cheating on him/her? cat ate your soul? Were you forced to a katherine heighl movie marathon?

Posted by: rio at January 15, 2011 11:37 PM

Let’s be honest: In the real world, he keeps that shit to himself. It’s not his business. Let the other guy find out.

Wait, really?

Posted by: denesteak at January 16, 2011 5:39 PM

Forget the cheating and potato debates -- the real bomb dropped here is this:

the upcoming Miley Cyrus spy comedy, I’m, Like, So Undercover

I googled that while chanting, "please be fake, please be fake" and oh how real it is...

Posted by: megaroniandcheese at January 16, 2011 5:53 PM

On Topic: I would immediately tell my friend if I had proof their SO was cheating on them.
Off Topic: The Zodiac changes only apply to people born after 2009.

Posted by: ninetwenteetoo at January 17, 2011 11:08 AM

you find out your best mates missus is doing the dirty on him and you DON'T tell him?

You're a horrible friend then.

Posted by: Ben at January 17, 2011 8:00 PM

I am unclear I fully understand everything in the post, I am almost certainly a tad thick, but the overall ideas seem to be to make sense and I can try to put things into action. I will add you to my RSS and see if I can get a more effective understanding Adios for now!

Posted by: webmaster school at January 18, 2011 2:42 AM

Did you folks pay any attention? The "dilemma" is not just whether or not to tell his bud. It's should he stick his nose into his bud's marriage when there is evidence (since his bid hasn't had sex with his wife in 6 months) that his bud has sexual problems of which his wife's cheating is a mere symptom, not a cause. Let's lay it out: no sex with wife but frequent trips to Asian sex parlor for "happy ending.". Once he spills the beans the WR charachter asks, "what did you expect me to do?" The KJ charachter has no answer, and ultimately reveals he ended up leaving her after the revelation because "it wasn't fair to her." The real issue is that the VV charachter blows the lid off this charade of a marriage not knowing if he should upset this delicate balance they've achieved. Clearly the KJ charachter knows already but has turned a blind eye in order to continue to do what he's been doing. In the aftermath his "friend" never says, "yo, buddy, you got issues.". A new wife won't solve that.

Posted by: DonkeyKong at January 18, 2011 7:38 AM

I have to say that Im really unimpressed with this. I mean, sure, youve got some very interesting points. But this blog is just really lacking in something. Maybe its content, maybe its just the design. I dont know. But its almost like you wrote this because everybodys doing it. No passion at all.

Posted by: buy Zithromax online at January 29, 2011 8:34 PM

Good luck getting people behind this one. Though you make some VERY fascinating points, youre going to have to do more than bring up a few things that may be different than what weve already heard. What are trying to say here? What do you want us to think? It seems like you cant really get behind a unique thought. Anyway, thats just my opinion.

Posted by: buy generic Amoxil at January 30, 2011 12:43 PM

Dear admin, thanks for providing this blog post. I found it great. Take care,

Posted by: Belinda at February 4, 2011 5:54 PM