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Surrogates Review | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Short, Marginally Sweet


Surrogates / Steven Lloyd Wilson

Film Reviews | September 25, 2009 | Comments (42)


This film was much better than it looked from the limited previews, and as such ended up being far more disappointing than if it had just taken a dump on the chests of the audience.

Surrogates is set in the near future when we have developed commercially available technology to construct nearly lifelike androids that can be controlled remotely by human operators who (within safeguards) feel and experience what their surrogate does. An intriguing society develops almost overnight in which everyone interacts with the world through surrogates, an entire culture of couch potatoes. You go to work through your surrogate, interact socially with your surrogate, live your entire life through that uplink connection, so that real physical interactions are almost non-existent. Crime and disease disappear as surrogate use rises, after all, all crime becomes simple property crime if people are replaced with machines. Of course the film begins with a murder, with a strange new weapon that overloads the surrogate in such a precise way that the effect is carried back to the operator, killing both machine and man.

The actors do an incredible job of portraying being a lifelike machine controlled by a person rather than just a person. Surrogates (diminutivized to “Suris” in a nice detail) are clearly surrogates when they are on screen, all the details of humanity tweaked just a little bit off skew. Their skin is too perfectly smooth like that of a centerfold airbrushed into oblivion, their hair perfect and overly styled, gestures and expressions come stiffly as if at a slight delay. When disconnected, they freeze like freaky mannequins, almost-human rag dolls. The film gets the details right, looking and feeling like something right out of Asimov or Heinlein. It also takes a cue from other near future sci-fi of the last few years, muting all sci-fi elements other than the core conceit in order to cut closer to reality. Other than the surrogates themselves, and the macguffin at the center of the plot, Boston of the film is more or less Boston of today. Other little details sprinkled through the film add flavor to every scene, like when Bruce Willis’ character leaves his apartment in the flesh for the first time in years and almost has a agoraphobic nervous breakdown, or the way that soldiers have been replaced in the field by endlessly replaceable surrogates.

The plot problems pile up though, dragging down an otherwise fascinating premise and excellent execution. While a few of the metaphorical unmaskings (when you can wear any appearance, you knew that had to be part of the plot) were interesting, the plot fell apart into almost Dan Brown level inanities. The more the twists piled up, the more obvious it was that all of the characters were apparently idiots. Think of it this way, if you were a billionaire who wanted to kill another billionaire because he was politically undermining you, would you: A. hire a street thug to do the hit and give him a billion dollar secret banned weapon to indirectly kill the target in a mysterious and public manner or B. hire the street thug, hand him a shotgun, and tell him to break in to the guy’s house and make it look like a robbery. All events in this film rely on taking option A.

Even with all the plot problems, it could have been salvaged by recognizing the impossible choice at the end of the film. Instead, it’s just treated as an obvious Frankenstein morality play. Surrogates are bad! Get rid of them and we’ll all be people again! We’ll frolic in the mist and revel in the stank of our own fluids! Technology just gets between us! Fuck you hippie, just because things change doesn’t mean they’re worse. Yeah, idiots who play WoW for twenty hours a day in a pool of their own feces are destroying themselves with technology, but blowing up all the computers isn’t the answer you fricking luddite. People have been finding ways to destroy each other and themselves ever since that first hairless monkey rubbed his own balls off because he wouldn’t stop humping a particularly curvy piece of basalt. “Guns don’t kill people, people do,” might be naive, but no more so than “People don’t kill people, guns do.” Boiling complex moral issues down to binary choices is the telltale sign of a weak storyteller.

It was also terrifically short, coming in at exactly 90 minutes including the ads and previews at the start. I criticized Gamer for this a couple of weeks ago and got a bit of feedback from viewers who preferred films to come in at a tight hour and a half. Let me explain a bit differently: it’s certainly possible to tell a good story in any amount of time, be it 30, 60, 90 or 120 minutes. Hell, Return of the Jedi clocked in at 135 minutes and I never felt it really dragged in any significant way. The problem is that when you get to the end of a film and your reaction is “that’s it?”, the disappointment is compounded when you look at your watch and realize that there was no reason that the film makers couldn’t have spent another twenty or thirty minutes deepening the story.

So, the eternal question, is it worth seeing? Well, it’s not a terrible movie by any stretch, and was certainly an enjoyable enough time. It’s got a great atmosphere throughout, and the constructed world is genuinely interesting and well thought out, but the plot and story just don’t hold up their end of the film. So if you’re not a sci-fi junkie, you’re probably not going to find much here. If you are a sci-fi junkie though, and enjoy detail and setting even if the plot is middling, then it’s not a bad film to catch.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com.


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Comments

"set in the near future when we have developed commercially available technology to construct nearly lifelike androids that can be controlled remotely by human operators.."

Much like Miley Cyrus

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2009 4:06 PM

Well, I'm still glad it wasn't a complete cinematic abortion. I love Bruce Willis, he had his career deservedly resurrected in Pulp Fiction unlike some idiot-Scientoligists-who-blew-all-their-credibility-on-freaking-Battlefield-Earth who shall remain nameless... fuck that. John Travolta, fuck you!

Posted by: George at September 25, 2009 4:10 PM

“Guns don’t kill people, people do”
“People don’t kill people, guns do”

WRONG on both counts. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2009 4:16 PM

We’ll frolic in the mist and revel in the stank of our own fluids!

I'm reveling in the stank of my own fluids right now.

Nice review, sir. I would call it "fair and balanced." And you didn't even mention Bruce Willis' bad wig.

Posted by: MM at September 25, 2009 4:16 PM

Great review, Steven. I esp. enjoyed this li'l gem:

The problem is that when you get to the end of a film and your reaction is “that’s it?”, the disappointment is compounded when you look at your watch and realize that there was no reason that the film makers couldn’t have spent another twenty or thirty minutes deepening the story.

Well said.

Posted by: Jelinas at September 25, 2009 4:17 PM

Return of the Jedi didn't drag on....? Fucking ewoks. You must have been 7 yrs old them and loved it, adults...not so much.

Posted by: Ted at September 25, 2009 4:20 PM

I know from the previews the movie touches on military applications, but it's that part that is most interesting to me. Fighting wars with little or no possibility of casualities is a huge change. Imagine Iraq or Afganistan with the army flying in remote controlled soldiers. Hell, the gov't could sell the opportunity to get in on that and make a mint.

Posted by: mrcreosote at September 25, 2009 4:30 PM

Those 20 or 30 minutes probably were there and ended up on the cutting room floor. Whether they actually deepened the story or whether they are a testament to an even bigger mess remains an open question.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 25, 2009 4:31 PM

What are the possible sexual applications for this technology?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2009 4:34 PM

Possible sexual applications for a technology that allows people to pretend to look however they want and have sex with each other more or less anonymously, with no fear of disease?

Gee, Barbado. None I can think of. None whatsoever.

Posted by: Landon at September 25, 2009 4:39 PM

Don't listen to Ted, Stripe. It's about time someone gave props to Return of the Jedi. Yeah, it's not the best, or the most influential, but it's certainly the most satisfying, and you can say what you will about my taste, but it's my favorite Star Wars to watch. If the first Star Wars is the appetizer, and Empire Strikes Back is the main course, than Return of the Jedi is the desert. It's not the most sustaining, or deep part of the meal, but it's satisfying, and delicious.

Posted by: George at September 25, 2009 4:41 PM

Possible sexual applications for a technology that allows people to pretend to look however they want and have sex with each other more or less anonymously, with no fear of disease?

Unless you bought a used Fleshlight on Amazon, I think you can do that now, literally while making an inane observation on a bitchy little film review web site. Nobody will even notice.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at September 25, 2009 4:45 PM

Wait, the surrogates are called Suri's?

Ummm....

Posted by: Brie at September 25, 2009 4:54 PM

I'm sorry, George, but you weren't even born when Return of the Jedi came out, so I just can't take anything you say about it seriously. Oh my god, you were what, five when the original trilogy was re-released? Did you even see them in the theater? Really, I -- can't, no I just can't. Can't think about this anymore...

Posted by: Three-nineteen at September 25, 2009 4:59 PM

Unlike with most movies, the promos actually make this movie look terrible.

And the premise doesn't sound fascinating to me, it sounds stupid. Why would you send a "surrogate" out to do things for you, ie, enjoyable things, like sex or kicking Donald Trump in the nads, as the promos seem to suggest? I wanna experience that shit to the fullest.

Where you want a surrogate is when you have to go to work or mow the lawn or meet your girlfriend's parents. But I guess a 2-hour long movie that shows Bruce Willis using his surrogate to take out the trash and go to his kids' Little League games wouldn't have sold quite as well to the suits in Hollywood.

Posted by: Slash at September 25, 2009 5:33 PM

I applaud you, George, for making an assertion like that in this crowd. I agree with you about Return of the Jedi and will stand beside you to be pelted with rotten fruit and human feces.

For me, it's about the closure that the film's end brings to the trilogy. I know that a lot of people think that The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the franchise, but I have to confess that I found the ending abrupt and highly dissatisfying.

At the end of Return of the Jedi, however, the good guys win, the Ewoks are throwing a huge party, and Luke's made peace with his father, who's in Jedi heaven with Yoda, Obi-Wan, Chubbs, the crocodile, and President Lincoln.

What's not to like?

Posted by: Jelinas at September 25, 2009 5:53 PM

Sorry, it's an alligator. My mistake.

Posted by: Jelinas at September 25, 2009 5:55 PM

Short, Marginally Sweet

That describes me to a t.

Posted by: Lauren at September 25, 2009 10:17 PM

This might be a smarter movie IF there wasn't a whole murder mystery angle involved. I wonder why they feel that they have to do that. I'm thinking of classic sci-fi like Stranger in a Strange Land and Brave New World where futuristic societies were explored without a need of a whodunit.

Posted by: Fredo at September 25, 2009 11:07 PM

Jelinas,
You crack me up, but I have no idea what you are talking about!

George,
It is so refreshing to someone your age who can form a complete sentence.

,TCFKAB:

Weekend Diversion? I have no life! I need Pajiba to rant on all weekend long before and after work. Which makes it like any other day, but still. I needs me the diversion!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 26, 2009 1:04 AM

All events in this film rely on taking option A.
Okay, I haven't seen the film, but, well, option B only works in the context of world where bungled roberry=murder is commonplace. Now, apparently, in the Surrogates world, there hasn't been a murder in a long time. So, wouldn't it follow that ANY violent death would get attention? Enough attention to have the cops hunt you down on a tidalwave of public opinion ('we're not safe to live vicariously through these hot robots!! Get the person behind this!').
We need an option C here. Something like 'use top-secret weapon to kill enemy in a way that COULD be considered a strange accident by a policeforce unused to investigating murder, preferably by hiring a thug who has some fucking understanding of discretion.'

I'm thinking way too much about this.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at September 26, 2009 2:55 AM

Stephen has to be one of my favorite reviewers. He clocks in between that guy who, before he delves into the novel that is his review for one movie (and a contemporary movie, no less), always mentions he has a ph.D in .. well, Who Gives A Shit would probably sum it up sufficiently, and the spastic analogies and metaphors that spout from Brian Pisco.

All I'd like to see is more examples of the plotholes. I like the listings of failure, though. Go fig.

Posted by: duckandcover at September 26, 2009 4:59 AM

.. I'm never late-night commenting again, no matter how much the beer tells me it's okay.

*Steven
*Prisco

Talk about enjoying a list of failure; I've got my own! :D

Posted by: duckandcover at September 26, 2009 5:03 AM

Brian Pisco.

It took me five minutes to figure that was wrong, even after I saw the correction.

It just seems...appropriate.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 26, 2009 8:37 AM

Meanwhile, every time I see the trailer for this film (especially the scenes of the Suris jumping and getting hit with trucks), I keep thinking "wow, a few tweaks and this might be a decent live-action Ghost in the Shell movie". I mean, the technology is right there. Some of the same themes too (more than likely done better).

Posted by: Vermillion at September 26, 2009 8:51 AM

Well, there goes that. Will I ever find an actiony kind of film I have an interest in that doesn't turn out to suck?

The answer seems to be no. Every single time I get my hopes up, they're crushed miserably by Hollywood.

For once, I just want to be a normal filmgoer. I want to be satisfied by shiny graphics, nonsensical plots, and mediocre acting. I want those movie theater nachos to be the best thing I tasted in weeks and the large Cherry Coke to not make me feel like I conracted Diabetes in the theater. I want the glow of a hundred iPhones to be a comfort in an otherwise darkened theater. I want to appreciate the film being blown up so large all four edges of the print are blasted off the screen into light absorbing wall carpets. I want to not get a migraine from soundtracks cranked up to eleven for 90%+ of the film. And I want to leave saying "that was awesome" every time I rejoin the hustle and busle of the mall.

But no. It's just not meant to be.

Posted by: Robert at September 26, 2009 9:40 AM

who cares? It's said more and more celebrities have their profiles on a great millionaire dating site____WealthySocial.COM_______ . The best club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs...You should check it out!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posted by: Jessie at September 26, 2009 10:26 AM

LindsEEEEEEy, I think those go up at 3 p.m. EST. I just write 'em and send 'em off to the Overlords, I'm not in charge of putting them up. And I've turned in like a half dozen (cause I fear Diversion Block and can never have too many in the can) so even I don't know which one it'll be. It'll be a surprise for all of us.

I hope it's something you can rant to, cause I feel all this angry energy and supercharged sexual tension emanating from you, and I'd like to be able to help you discharge it in ... some way, shape or form. It's what I'm here for *wink*

Actually, I'm trying to throw some change-ups in there, a few things that are just for fun too, cause while we've have some good rantfests the past couple weeks I don't want everyone to burn out on the Hate. (Though we're Pajibans, we can turn the Hate on ANYthing, especially fun.)

So hang in there a couple more hours and then please, by all means, rantgasm all you like.

Here's a promise: When I run out of ideas we'll do What's Your Problem II, so save up all your problems for the Big Day, or create some new ones in the meantime.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 26, 2009 10:54 AM

Is he the guy who's hooking up with hot models on ___Tallloving Co m___ ? actually there're lots sexy people there, Online chat, blogs, forums, flirtation and messages! Start an May-December romance just a click away! Whether for heat or passion, you are gonna be surprised what you might be end with!!LOL :-)

Posted by: Pattylove at September 26, 2009 12:43 PM

"...Return of the Jedi is the desert."

This is what's known as typotruthspeak, when your subconscious wants to let the truth out and bubbles up in the form of a misspelled but appropriate word.

Posted by: Recondite at September 26, 2009 2:01 PM

I'm sorry, but guns don't kill people--bullets kill people. Unless, of course, you've run out of bullets and had to start hitting people with your gun.

Posted by: spazmodeas at September 26, 2009 2:27 PM

"I think those go up at 3 p.m. EST.I'm not in charge of putting them up."

Ok, now there's an example of things I didn't know. I assumed you had been given the Powers of Grayskull, or whatever lets you contribute around here. I will never bring it up again.

Also, I was kidding. A little. I actually don't have any specific problem to rant about. It is just fun to work up a head of steam. Energetic discourse is a shared hobby amongst my crowd, (a frightening number of journalists and writers) so it's fun to do it here too. I spent 3 years of lurking before loosening up enough to join in the fun around here, and now I'm addicted. Pardon the fuck out of me.

Plus I (stupidly) have turned too many people I know on to this site, and now I can't complain about them.

"I feel all this angry energy and supercharged sexual tension emanating from you"

Picked up on that, did you?
;-}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 26, 2009 2:50 PM

How about that they wouldn't expect a common street thug to be able to get to the man. And since their plan would have been successful if he hadn't given the bot to his son, I'd say that sounds about right. Besides, they developed the thing, why not use it?

Posted by: Smatt584 at September 26, 2009 8:38 PM

I was having a hard time explaining how I felt about this movie to the friends that asked me, so thank you for encapsulating for me so perfectly. I was really surprised to find out it was only an hour and a half long though, because the group I went with and I felt like it was really dragging in the middle.

Posted by: TryScience at September 26, 2009 9:40 PM

I am old enough to have seen all three Star Wars on the big screen and yet as an adult showing these to my 5year old, I have to ponder if the Ewoks weren't the Jar Jar Binks of that time? I make lemonade out of lemons, so let the pelting begin.....

Posted by: rhennis at September 26, 2009 10:35 PM

Lindsey,

It's all cool. Keep your steam building, darlin', cause next week ... your pipes will explode.

And I think you'd like that, wouldn't you? Yesssssss, I think you would ...

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 27, 2009 1:57 AM

I thought the premise was intriguing enough. Actually having seen the movie, it does make me wonder what would a world be when all of society's ill like racism, sexism, disease are wiped out in the blink of an eye?

It's a whopper of a double-edge sword. Would you take all the things that have been wrong with "normal" society and replace them with a mask living in a dream-like lie? I really couldn't see where the negatives of the surrogates outweigh the positives but hey I didn't write the flick.

Posted by: DookieMercury at September 27, 2009 3:00 AM

,TCFKAB:
My God, you see right through to my soul. {shivers in anticipation}
Boy, if I could find a man in real life that could stir me up like you do...

In other news: I went to a party at a friends house last night. The Ex Mr.Lwa'e'(whom I get along with very well) was there with new girlfriend/victim in tow, and the consensus of the assembled company was that I am like 10 times hotter than she is.
YESSSS!
Petty and shallow? OK, maybe, but I really needed that.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 27, 2009 1:21 PM

rhennis:
I think you are right, but the Ewoks were at least cute and fuzzy. JJ Binks is like a walking hemorrhoid: Mostly harmless, but a really irritating pain in the ass.
also, the Ewoks spawned a successful franchise, movie and cartoon, that attracted lots of kiddies to the SW universe.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 27, 2009 2:16 PM

Vermillion

A Ghost in the Shell movie that was like this..only better would be a-mazing.

If only.

Posted by: VinKong at September 28, 2009 2:59 AM

I haven't seen this yet, but I've been a bit pissed off ever since seeing the promo material. Ya know, that one with the chick that has have of her face removed. Her breasts were covered by these little black boob socks. What the fuck? So, you're telling me that people work in labs/factories where they crank out these surrogate every fucking day, and they just happen to be a bit bashful? What's next, movies where cadavers are covered by little loin cloths and bras? Bullshit, I say.

Posted by: pissant at September 28, 2009 11:03 AM

Isaac Asimov meets 'The Sims' meets the ultimate 'MMORPG' (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game), but instead it's real life. The idea of living life out of your bedroom, being who ever you like, spawning again when you die.. Is this starting to sound familiar? What are your kids doing now...more

Posted by: Surrogates at October 4, 2009 6:54 PM





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