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Orphan Review | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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I’m Not Your F**king Mommy


Orphan / Steven Lloyd Wilson

Film Reviews | July 24, 2009 | Comments (46)


For the first time I’ve reviewed a film for Pajiba in theaters, there weren’t a few children being obnoxious throughout. It seems even those parents are unwilling to take their monstrous offspring to a film actually about an evil child. Wouldn’t want to give the creatures any ideas now.

Orphan opens with a thoroughly disturbing dream sequence of a violent stillbirth that is treated almost as routine by the masked doctors and even the clueless husband, videotaping the bloody proceedings and reassuring her “you’re doing great honey!” It’s a grotesquely macabre way of introducing the couple at the center of the story, an over-the-top exaggeration of the issues and darkness that they have up front, so they can be hinted at effectively throughout the first half of the film.

John (Peter Sarsgaard) and Kate (Vera Farmiga) lost their third child to stillbirth and seek to adopt an older child since they have such a harder time finding a home. They find a charming young girl at an orphanage run by an order of nuns, headed up by C.C.H. Pounder, who is really making the rounds with the conclusion of “The Shield” last year. Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman) is quickly adopted by the Colemans, taken home, and introduced to their other two children, young teen son Daniel (Jimmy Bennett) and a younger deaf daughter Max (Aryana Engineer). Max is taken with the charming Esther and gradually becomes her partner in small mischief that seems like a game. Daniel is less than welcoming, not because he sees through Esther’s façade, but because he’s a realistically drawn teen boy, disgusted by Esther’s old fashioned clothing and odder behaviors.

What makes Esther work as a horror character is that her actions make sense within the context of her own logic. She might be nuts, but she’s still perfectly rational. The young actress Fuhrman does an excellent job of portraying a sociopathic youth, getting across why sociopathy is such a terrifying phenomenon. She leaps from utterly emotionless, to genuinely sweet and kind, to violently angry and back again with little more than changes in facial expression. She may be just a child, but she is terrifying precisely because she isn’t creepy most of the time. You knew Damien from The Omen was fucked up from the first minute you laid eyes on him. Esther is so persuasively sweet and victimized for the first part of the film, that by half an hour into it I found myself wondering if the film was setting up a double twist in which Esther was not actually crazy at all. She nervously learns bits and pieces of sign language on the way home for the first time to talk to her new deaf sister. She is articulate and persuasive about why she likes to wear old fashioned clothes. She is terrorized by the other girls and boys at school, breaking down into horrifying screams. Fuhrman throughout seems like a much older actress than her 12 years. Without spoiling anything, the last half hour of the film sees her put on a phenomenally disturbing transformation.

The acting throughout is simply top rate. The other two child actors are asked to carry a great deal of the film, which they do extraordinarily well, conveying the terrified helplessness with which they are cowed by Esther. Vera Farminga and Peter Sarsgaard hold up the adult end of the movie as well, constructing deep and three-dimensional characters who are very flawed, share a fluid comfort with each other, and implode as a couple along fault lines that feel genuinely human and complicated rather than convenient and forced. The film takes its time setting up these characters so that once stuff starts to go horribly wrong we empathize with them, even with Esther. Her first acts of violence are even understandable to a degree. The time taken with characterization allows later actions that are at face value completely harmless, such as picking some flowers, take on abject personal horror for the characters. The beauty of the plot throughout is in the level of manipulation exercised by Esther to drive wedges between other characters and use their own words against them. From the mouths of babes …

The last quarter of the film has significant plotting problems though, which keep the film from being nearly as good in sum as the excellence of many of its parts might suggest. It falls into the horror trope of revealing everything with half an hour or so left and then trapping the characters in the dark house at night, jumping at shadows, and fighting the suddenly unstoppable boogeyman. There is no suspense but who will die and how, and which apparent death of the antagonist will actually stick. Horror film makers: quit doing this. Retire the showdown-in-the-dark-house ending and use that half an hour for actual advancement of the plot. Throw in another twist for good measure, or hold off fully revealing the twist for a bit longer.

All in all, this was a much better film than I expected from its trailer and press, which just seemed to be for the vaguely ominous “evil child” movie that seems to come out every year or two. The acting and slow build up of characterization and tension in the first half are masterfully done and well worth watching, but be prepared to be disappointed with the clichéd ending. I am now going to get a black light though to double check all of my step-daughter’s drawings for invisible murderous additions.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. He is a hopeless romantic who can be found wandering San Diego’s strip malls and suburbs looking for his mislaid soul and waiting for the revolution to come. Burning Violin is still published weekly on Wednesdays at www.burningviolin.com, along with assorted fiction and other ramblings.


The Ugly Truth Review | The Suspicions of Mr Whicher or The Murder at Road Hill House by Kate Summerscale





Comments

Ahhh, Dr. G--, Dr. EX-Girlfriend.

Posted by: Jay at July 24, 2009 9:14 PM

If "The Crush" taught us nothing else, it's that when a sweet little girl starts fucking with your life, punch her in the face, sooner rather than later. Save yourself a lot of grief that way.

But movie characters never learn from other movie characters.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 24, 2009 9:24 PM

And it still isn't showing at my theater. I'll see if I can catch it though, I was expecting it to suck. Good to know, sometimes, when you expect a film to suck, it doesn't. (I'm complementing you, Revenge of the Sith)

Posted by: George at July 24, 2009 9:30 PM

Mr. Wilson you sir get an automatic win for that Venture Bros. reference, and your review was excellent.

This documentary is further proof of my: "little brunettes are inherently evil" theory.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 24, 2009 9:38 PM

Google Auto-Ad at bottom of column? Adoption Network, of course!

How I love Google Ads!

Posted by: Jerce at July 24, 2009 9:46 PM

Interesting! I love a little sympathy for the devil. Makes it all hurt just a little bit more for us sucky 'everyone can be redeemed' types.

Posted by: replica at July 24, 2009 10:01 PM

So is the spoiler that's been leaked all over the webs true?

Posted by: DP at July 24, 2009 10:46 PM

Yep

Posted by: gilp at July 24, 2009 11:42 PM

I think I saw this when it was called Omen. Or maybe it was called The Good Son. Or maybe The Good Son's Omen.

Posted by: TheGreasedScotsman at July 24, 2009 11:59 PM

TheGreasedScotsman Or going even further back, it was called The Bad Seed.

But to be fair, I haven't seen Orphan and it sounds not bad at all. Might have to pay matinee price.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at July 25, 2009 12:11 AM

Anyone else snicker at the fact the parents in this movie are name John(sic)and Kate? Coincidence or Cinematic Schadenfreude?

The movie's ending was blatantly ripped off from an episode of "Law & Order: SVU"...no really, it was. I won't say which as to preserve the spoiler, but those of you familiar with both may recognize which episode. The only difference is "SVU" did it more believably whereas in this movie it was a ham-fisted attempt to leapfrog out of a painted corner. I'd have given them credit for at least trying to be creative, if I hadn't already seen it before- and executed better.

Posted by: bleujayone at July 25, 2009 1:20 AM

Does this movie employ a Latin chorus for scenes where the scary kid appears? Every evil child movie should include a Latin chorus. If it's not a law, it should be.

Posted by: stryker1121 at July 25, 2009 1:34 AM

I haven't seen this yet, but I'm curious how similar Vera Farmiga's role is to her role in Joshua, which was 2007's evil child movie.

Posted by: Max at July 25, 2009 3:56 AM

Posted by: bleujayone at July 25, 2009 1:20 AM

Nice all on the Jo(h)n and Kate thing.

As far as the spoiler, it has actually been done twice on SVU, and once on the main show. I know, L*O sucks, but dammit I can't help remembering stuff like that!

Leave me alone, you judgmental bastarda!!!!

Posted by: Vermillion at July 25, 2009 9:11 AM

Anyone else snicker at the fact the parents in this movie are name John(sic)and Kate? Coincidence or Cinematic Schadenfreude?
Love it. I hope it's the latter.

I'm surprised this movie turned out to be mostly decent. Judging from the amount of creepy child in the trailer, I thought for sure it would suck ghost balls. I'll be adding this to my ever-increasing Netflix queue.

Posted by: stardust savant at July 25, 2009 9:49 AM

I still don't really understand why that little girl is scary. She's not possessed by satan, she's not supernatural, she's just a malevolent little dick. You know what would happen to my adopted child if it started to try and kill people? Kicked in the mu'fuckin head repeatedly until it was either dead or it agreed to quit trifling.


Evil little children are one exception to my "Don't beat the shit out of people who are younger than me" clause.

Posted by: Braski at July 25, 2009 9:58 AM

I had to look up the spoiler for this movie and I am saddened to know that I was wrong about the ribbon holding her head on. I guess I'll be waiting for this one on DVD. At someone else's house. Paid for with their money.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits (aka Dangle McGee) at July 25, 2009 10:05 AM

Pinky, there is always the DVD section in the public library. If you're that adamant about not spending money on it, no sense in wasting someone else's money. A public library DVD was the only was I would consent to see V For Vendetta and the only way I'm going to see the new Star Trek movie.

Posted by: stardust savant at July 25, 2009 10:32 AM

I can't help but be freaked out by the younger daughter actress's name: Aryana Engineer. For reals? I'm no historian, but didn't the Aryans want to (genetically) engineer the human race? Isn't this name a little creepy? Or a lot?

I thought I would on principal decide to hate the movie, since I am adopted & I kind of resent that it's always the adopted kid who's the socio-stabby one. However, I might not turn it off now when I come across it on cable. Still won't get my disposable income though.

Posted by: staramour at July 25, 2009 10:35 AM

So, it's the anti-Annie? Where's Miss Hannigan when you need her? And why do I suddenly crave soft pretzels?

Posted by: slower lower at July 25, 2009 11:29 AM

However, I might not turn it off now when I come across it on cable. Still won't get my disposable income though.

Posted by: staramour at July 25, 2009 10:35 AM
---
You don't get a cable bill every month, or you don't pay it? Or did you shinny up the pole and run a line?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 25, 2009 12:46 PM

I just rewatched The Good Son a few days ago because I remember finding it terrifying when I was a little girl. That was a pretty good creepy kid movie. Also, the kid wasn't adopted so you gotta give it points for that.

I feel the need to add that Law and Order:SVU is enjoyable. Formulaic yet enjoyable.

Posted by: becks at July 25, 2009 1:17 PM

"For the first time I’ve reviewed a film for Pajiba in theaters, there weren’t a few children being obnoxious throughout. It seems even those parents are unwilling to take their monstrous offspring to a film actually about an evil child. Wouldn’t want to give the creatures any ideas now."

Right on! Fucking breeders.

Boyfriend and I are both adopted and when we saw the trailer for this movie, we both marveled that neither of us has up and gone batshit crazy on our adopted families yet. I mean, come on - there's TWO of us. Statistically speaking, you'd think at least one of us would have gotten all socio-stabby*.

You know, if it in the cards, I'm pretty sure it's going to be me.

(* thank you, staramour)

Posted by: malechai at July 25, 2009 3:47 PM

I had to look up the spoiler for this movie and I am saddened to know that I was wrong about the ribbon holding her head on.

FUCK!!! I was hoping for the same thing.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at July 25, 2009 7:20 PM

Someone else...liked this film?

I knew there was a good reason for me sticking around here.

And people, don't get it twisted: the twist of the film works in the context of the film. It sounds stupid if you haven't seen it, and I'm sure dummies that thought this was a slasher or mindless gorefest really did not get it, hence the spoilers from the first screening. Believe me: I hate unjustified twists in horror. Nothing turns me off quicker. It still works if you know the twist.

That ham-fisted dark house sequence...ugh. So close to greatness, yet so far away. The end credits are badass, though.

Posted by: Robert at July 25, 2009 8:08 PM

The movie's ending was blatantly ripped off from an episode of "Law & Order: SVU"...no really, it was.

If that's the same ep I'm thinking of, it was taken from a really great story in The New York Times Magazine. I won't say more, since it's obviously totally spoilery, but the entire thing gives me the heebie jeebies.

Posted by: the essence of fanciness and class at July 25, 2009 11:39 PM

Dear Mr. , (or "Buc" as I think of you)
I do get a bill each month for my allotment of broadcast and cable, but it rarely contains an additional charge for a movie unless it is Pajiba-approved. I don't think this falls into this category. Imagine, a website that makes me feel like I have more friends, as well as one that saves time, money and brain cells!

And to dear malechai, you now have a 1 in 3 chance, because i have to add myself to your apparent "so close" category...

Oy, why am I on the internets after (1) midnight and (2) drinking...?

Posted by: staramour at July 26, 2009 12:46 AM

Robert- I read the spoiler and didn't find it stupid, but downright horrifying. Which I suppose is what a horror movie is supposed to be. I'm a pretty big horror movie wuss though. That alone was enough movie scares to last me the year.

Posted by: katy at July 26, 2009 1:07 AM

I'm soooo glad to know other people know the story of the ribbon. I've had to explain to SOOOOO many people why I start laughing every time I see the poster or the trailer. I end up looking baffled and wondering if they've EVER read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Or, as someone on TV Tropes called them, "Scary illustrations to traumatize your childhood."

Posted by: Rowen at July 26, 2009 3:58 AM

I will upload this to the big&tall dating club ___TallMingle.com___ to share with those hot models and bbws.

Posted by: Obama27 at July 26, 2009 4:37 AM

So... 3-dimensional characterization and slow paced dramatization in horror. Realistic yet terrifying build up about sociopathic youth. Suck on it Rob Zombie and learn you basterd!

Posted by: rg at July 26, 2009 4:54 AM

I would just like to clarify that I was being obnoxious and will probably watch this movie using my own money. I was feigning outrage at the lack of a head held on by ribbon only. And now, back to your regularly scheduled commenting.

Penis!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits (aka Dangle McGee) at July 26, 2009 11:59 AM

Rowen, is that the same terrifying book that had old weird Harold who laid the skins out on the roof?

Posted by: becks at July 26, 2009 4:56 PM

Oy, why am I on the internets after (1) midnight and (2) drinking...?

I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

Posted by: Elfrieda at July 26, 2009 5:34 PM

I can't help but be freaked out by the ... name: Aryana ... I'm no historian, but didn't the Aryans want to (genetically) engineer the human race?
I think this is funny spelling for Ariane, i.e. Ari-Ann, rather than Ar-Yan. Maybe from Ariadne?

Posted by: ChrisD at July 26, 2009 5:48 PM

Aw, Pinky McLadybits you make me sad emoticon. I was so happy to share my favorite FU gesture toward the Hollywood box office. I'm going to go over here and be sad now.*


*Not really. I'm actually going to be very happy because I have a malta and milk in front of my face.

Posted by: stardust savant at July 26, 2009 7:29 PM

Nooooo stardust savant! Don't be sad! I might get it from the library first, if they carry it. I loooove getting things for free from the library. If I like it, and the spoiler I read suggests that this could make me laugh quite a bit, I may buy it.
I just googled the malta and milk, and I would be smiling if I had one in front of me too.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits (aka Dangle McGee) at July 26, 2009 7:44 PM

If they want to mix it up a little bit, why not have an evil child that's not white? The "evil little girl" is always either blonde and blue eyed (Bad Seed) or brunette and pale (Esther, The Shining) and the little boy is pale and brunette (both Omen's). Where's my serial killing Asian boy? The Latina in braids that shoves mom over a railing? I remember Chris Rock saying that "a black man will kill you for your paycheck, a white many will kill you for your paycheck and then eat your eyeballs!" I know us whites are always the most depraved in these movies but show some imagination!

Posted by: scorzi at July 26, 2009 8:10 PM

Saw it, loved it. As a horror fan, I was more than pleased that this was not only a well-made movie buta horrifying one as well. I was entertained throughout.

Posted by: Dr.Awesome at July 26, 2009 8:10 PM

Lol, is funny how all of a sudden the movie had un “unexpected turn” ya, i doubt that the midget prostitute ending i read, (because i had no intention to see the movie) had.
Warner Bros, Castle entertainment, and Appain Way must have realized they screwed up royally and saw themselves getting “hanged” from The Empire State building by children rights advocates and possibly civil rights lawyers and they were like “hehe we intended it all along, really it wasn’t a kid, it was a,a..hrmm a midget! yah, that's it a midget!…..who was also a,a, hrmm a prostitute who,who, passed as a child to get into our coutry illegally, yeah, that’s it! We were trying to give out the message to midget prostitutes from Eastern Europe to stay out of our country…..that was our intention from the start ya, really…..”

Nice try Warner Bros………..

Posted by: Pamela Bishop at July 27, 2009 6:05 AM

Why would you spoil the end of the movie for everyone?

Posted by: becks at July 27, 2009 7:50 AM

Scorzi: Easy. Because a child of color would just be soooooooooooo fortunate to be adopted by a while family that he or she wouldn't dare torture or murder them.

Posted by: samantha t at July 27, 2009 7:58 AM

Rowan & Becks~ that book scared the hell out of me! I must have read it a billion times & had to sleep with the lights one for a week every damn time I read it.

Oh & great review. I probably won't see this in theaters, but since I already shell out money to netflix, I'll put it on my queue & forget about it until it shows up in my mailbox

Posted by: Bodhi at July 27, 2009 9:58 AM

StardustSavant: That would be a good afternoon diversion.

"Movies you waited for the library to get"

Posted by: MadameUgly at July 27, 2009 3:21 PM

I liked it. A lot. And now I can add "orphans" to the ever-growing list of things I'm afraid of.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at July 27, 2009 11:37 PM

Kudos to Warner Brothers for their groin-punch to adopted children everywhere with the promotional line: "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own".

Posted by: XiuFetish at July 28, 2009 3:52 AM





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