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Tender Is The Butt

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (41)



humpday4.jpg

I went to view Humpday with great trepidation, fostered not by any sort of low-grade homophobia, but rather of art-house malaise. Since it comes from a Shaolin of the school of mumblecore, I feared a film that would be some sort of five-dollar Shortbus or worse, a digi-cam mashup of Brokeback Mountain and Clerks. Instead, writer-director-actress Lynn Shelton gives us a phenomenally intelligent and hilarious take on that nebulous rift between twenty-thirtysomethings who are married and family-contemplative and their single friends that stagger untethered through life. It works remarkably well because it’s done up all mumblecore, giving the dialogue and circumstances a naturalistic spontaneity that any major studio would have nervously paved over with as many dick jokes and “know how I know you’re gay” riffs as could fit in a five minute improv session between bong hits. Apatow’s jokes are funny, but this shit feels real and thusly is really funny.

Humpday gets promoted as a film about two straight friends who decide to make a gay porn, and on the surface that’s precisely what it is. But like most mumblecore, it’s not so much about a concept as about the concept of a concept. Humpday is less about two dudes getting their bone on than them building up to the actual boning. It wonderfully mines the tension and drama, wringing huge chuckles out of this strange act. While — thankfully — a growing portion of the world finds nothing wrong with two men or two women being in love, the actual physicality of homosexual sex is … well, it’s weird, and kind of icky. Frankly, all sex is weird and icky, no matter what orifice whatever digit is penetrating or manipulating. My parents’ had heterosexual sex to make me, but that doesn’t make it beautiful or natural. And I certainly don’t want to think about it. So before this becomes about Prisco-the-Homo-Hating-Slobo-Bitch, understand that I approve of two or ten folks consensually getting their freak on with whomever they chose, so bear with me on this. Humpday really puts thought and maturity into the idea of two straight guys doing the do. It starts out as a drunken bet and then becomes pseudo-macho posturing “I’ll fuck you. No, I’ll fuck YOU!” and then ends up as this really awkwardly amazing conversation and build-up. Clothes come on, clothes come off, some hugging, some kissing, and the entire time, these guys are trying to psyche themselves into the male-on-male sex as if they were members of the Polar Bear club staring into an icehole. It wasn’t an “Eww, eww, eww” situation, but it wasn’t just a casual tunneling of love either.

I pondered whether it was being offensive to gays when the film sets up the idea that two men fucking is an unnatural act. But Lynn Shelton’s too smart to fall into that trap. For these two friends, it happens to be weird. However, it’d be just as weird for a gay man to eat clam chowder at the Y. Sure, it’s just skin, but there’s a lot of psychology involved with the skin. The single friend gets a chance to have a threesome with two women. He’s getting hot and heavy when all of a sudden his hand brushes against a rubber strap-on. He’s repulsed and uncomfortable, even though no one plans on necessarily using it on him. In his mind, there’s no awkwardness with one girl stimulating the other, but the fact that it’s with a rubber prosthesis, that is in direct competition with his own willy, that makes him uncomfortable. This scene particularly resonates due to the fact that the single friend is supposed to have sex with his married friend’s actual flesh and bone…um, fleshy bone. It gets played up later when the two guys are trying to figure out who’s going to be the pitcher and the catcher. Or when they stand in the hotel room trying to get comfortable by hugging in their boxers like “two guys who haven’t seen each other in long time and just went swimming.”

I’m blurring the promise of the film by putting too much focus on the gay porn delivery system. The brilliance of Humpday is that it’s actually, secretly, a well done relationship comedy. Ben (Mark Duplass, Baghead) and his wife Anna (Alycia Delmore) are two staid and supposedly settled-down folks, newly married, and working on trying to have a baby. In the middle of the night, they’re woken by a visit from Andrew (Joshua Leonard, The Blair Witch Project), Ben’s friend for forever who had been tooling around Mexico and decided to hop a plane to Seattle. From there, the film becomes more about how it is trying to reconcile who you were as a single person with who you become in a relationship. And it’s fucking profound. Andrew offers a world of artists and drugs and drinking until all hours of the night. How many drunken promises have you made at a party to show that you’re still the same guy/gal you’ve always been when out with old friends? Hell, I reviewed fucking five Air Bud movies. Ben decides to make a porn with his best pal that would be “beyond gay.”

The motivator for submitting a film to Humpfest, the amateur porn festival sponsored by a local underground newspaper, is a bit strained at first, but then as it progresses, shows the depth and intelligence of the movie. It’s not like there’s a cash prize that just happens to be exactly how much it costs to get the fertility drugs Ben and Anna need to conceive or anything that trite. Initially, it gets touted as being an art project — which is a sublime dig at the bullshit artiste trappings I thought this would plummet into. But then, as we delve deeper into the characters, it becomes totally plausible. Andrew is a lanky, lumberjack-bearded vagrant draped in thrift store leisurewear who Ben calls out for being “not nearly as Keroauc as he thinks he is.” And to Andrew this is the one thing he’s actually finishing for once in his life. For Ben, a transportation coordinator schlub already sporting the matrimonial potbelly, it’s about retaining a vestige of his former unchained self. The dynamic between Anna and Ben could easily have turned a vanilla versus vivacious — the conservative lover who doesn’t want her beau partying (ala the girlfriend of Ed Helms’ character in The Hangover) — but Shelton gives Anna such outstanding layers. Anna’s not just a stay-at-home harpy or a smiling doormat. She gets mad and has actual motivation behind it other than “because she has a vagina” as most hack screenwriters tend to believe.

The complexity between Anna and Ben, how they deal with each other in the course of their marriage, is what makes Humpday great. It goes beyond mere presumable infidelity for Ben to engage in coitus with his buddy Andrew. It becomes about Ben the husband versus the old hookah-toking Ben. When we finally enter the hotel room with Ben and Andrew, it’s so dense with the weight of Anna and responsibility, it adds yet another layer to their deciding whether or not to have some hot butt sex. Plus, Ben loves Andrew just as much as he loves Anna, and not in some hyped-up bromantic backpatting way, but that genuine honest love between long-time friends. Humpday doesn’t propose this gay sex as some sort of culmination of a dare, but of two friends trying to find that one thing missing in their lives.

Humpday could have been an extended butt joke, resplendent with slurs about “butt pirating” and “fudgepacking.” If this were a major studio release, Larry and Chuck would be spraying fecal juice all over the walls, complete with stereophonic moaning and grunting. If it were the arthouse fair I feared, it could have been a slacker Brokeback, with the two men exploring the passions of their forbidden embrace while dreaming of microwavable burritos. Instead, it surprised the hell out of me because it found humor by taking an honest look at the different kinds of love. Instead of hedging her bets on a “are they gonna do it, are they gonna puss out” motif, Shelton wisely opts to make a thoughtful piece about what it means to be in a relationship — with old friends and with new spouses. Sure, it’s got the low-budge drag of shaky cameras, blown out lighting, and pacing plods, but for someone who still struggles with balancing the me-I-am-with-my-baby with the me-I-am-with-my-buddies, it’s a remarkable end result.

Brian Prisco is a bitter little man stomping sour grapes into fine whine in the valleys of North Hollywood. He’s a screenwriter who’s never been professionally produced, an actor who’s never joined a guild, and a director who made one bad film. He’s one waiter apron away from a cliche, and he’s available for children’s parties. You can tell him how much you hate him at priscogospel at hotmail dot com.









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Comments

The talent of the writers on this website seems to be growing exponentially.
Perhaps it is the fact that some writers (Wilson and Morton) have challenged and inspired others or that the others are feeling less restrained and more able to freely express themselves.
Whatever it is, we mere mortals are the ones who most benefit.
Mr. Prisco, you have prompted me to see a movie I would otherwise have written off and that is the mark of good film critic.

Posted by: Spender at July 30, 2009 3:16 PM

The talent of the writers on this website seems to be growing exponentially.
Perhaps it is the fact that some writers (Wilson and Morton) have challenged and inspired others or that the others are feeling less restrained and more able to freely express themselves.
Whatever it is, we mere mortals are the ones who most benefit.
Mr. Prisco, you have prompted me to see a movie I would otherwise have written off and that is the mark of a good film critic.

Posted by: Spender at July 30, 2009 3:17 PM

And double posting is the mark of a dipshit.

Posted by: Spender at July 30, 2009 3:19 PM

Nicely written, Mr. Prisco. This movie sounds like what I was hoping it would be, and like it's not what I was hoping it would not be. Hooray!

She gets mad and has actual motivation behind it other than “because she has a vagina”

Really? Bonus!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 30, 2009 3:24 PM

Excellent review - I didn't really want to see this when I first heard about it because I thought they'd go full retard with the gay porn, but it sounds like it's well done. I'll add it to my list of summer movies I have to see.

On a personal note, I do think watching people have sex is weird. Not if your alone and you're trying to get off, but watching people have sex for the sake of watching people have sex is, well, awkward. Por ejemplo, I was visiting a friend at UMass Amherst, and we were bored, so we borrowed a gay porno from her neighbor because we'd never seen one before and, well, it's college. It was...very weird. We just complimented the set design and tried to prove to each other how openminded we were, but really, we were weirded out.

Posted by: Marra at July 30, 2009 3:45 PM

I'm dying to see this. I'm sort of fascinated by the concept, and I'm curious about its resolution.

And this was a fucking bang-up review, Priscuits.

Posted by: TK at July 30, 2009 3:46 PM

Solid review.

I totally agree with you marra about the whole weird to watch sex thing. I had a guy friend invite me over (i'm a dude) to watch Pirates, the fucking saving private ryan meets transformers of porn, and we start watching it, and it is AWKWARD. Painfully awkward.

Posted by: "Luker" the barbarian at July 30, 2009 4:01 PM

While this review is very positive, it should be remembered that poor dear Prisco just watched 5 "movies" about a sports-playing dog. He might lump equal praise on the Saw franchise at the moment.

For all we know, Humpday is littered with buttsecks jokes, and his Disney-addled brain simply can't grasp them.

I'm praying for you, man.

Posted by: ahamos at July 30, 2009 4:04 PM

Art my ass, phenomenally intelligent my ass, well written my ass. This movie is about two guys giving it to each other in the seat, you can dress it up anyway you want to. And I don't want any parts of it, now if it was about two broads gettin' it on then that's different, I might be inclined to see.

Posted by: Guess Who! at July 30, 2009 4:07 PM

Wait one fucking minute...A movie about slackers who do gay porn for the sake of finding out about themselves and having a little fun? Where the fuck is my royalty check?

Anyway, great review, Prisco. I can't wait to see this movie, and anyone who tries to start up a "PRISCO HATES TEH GAYS" thing will be beaten over the head with a folding chair.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 30, 2009 4:11 PM

Ahamos & Marra: Ah don't worry. I don't think I've watched porn with anyone else besides myself. Ever. And that's my fucking JOB. To be honest with you, I can't even watch my own scenes without putting my hands over my eyes and going "Is it over yet? Is it over yet?" It's fucking weird, really.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 30, 2009 4:14 PM

Ah shit, I mean Luker. My brain's not functioning right now.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 30, 2009 4:17 PM

jeremy that is really interesting. I've always wondered if porn actors/actresses were more or less likely to be comfortable watching their "scenes".

Is your reaction typical? I realize that's a rather odd question, but hey, what else is pajiba for?

Posted by: "Luker" the barbarian at July 30, 2009 4:29 PM

Feist:
Really? You don't even look back to take notes for improvement? Like, "don't look at camera, tickle the balls don't slap, oh my god what the fuck happened to my voice just now"? Maybe not that extreme, but along those lines?
I hate watching myself on camera as well, and it's taken a lot of grinding my teeth to get through watching some things I've done in the past.

(apologies if this comes off snarky, i'm actually very interested in the answer)

Posted by: Jim Doggie at July 30, 2009 4:43 PM

Nice to know the film isn't one long gay joke. It certainly seemed like one, especially with the comparisons to Zack and Miri.

Of course, this means that hardly anyone will see it.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 30, 2009 4:43 PM

Bravo Prisco, excellent review! I'm really not that interested in watching any number of people "get it on." The interesting part of sex is ALWAYS the build up so I'm glad to know that's the focus in this film.

Posted by: JenVegas at July 30, 2009 4:44 PM

If it were the arthouse fair I feared, it could have been a slacker Brokeback, with the two men exploring the passions of their forbidden embrace while dreaming of microwavable burritos.

Is this just an off-the-wall image or is the burrito some hidden homoerotic metaphor that I'm too sheltered and straight too perceive?

Posted by: Neodiogenes at July 30, 2009 4:55 PM

Nice review, Sambitch! I suspect I'll have to travel in order to see this one...

Posted by: Skitz at July 30, 2009 5:06 PM

Someone help me out with the definition of "mumblecore", please? I know I know it, but the two tons of Mexican food I just ate and the three margaritas are kind of clouding my memory banks right now.

Posted by: figgy at July 30, 2009 5:13 PM

Pookie!!!

You know you love butt-sex, don't lie.

Posted by: AM at July 30, 2009 5:25 PM

Can I tell you how much I hate the term "mumblecore" because all it brings to mind is a bunch of people, literally, mumbling their way through a film and making me want to shake all of them while yelling "SPEAK CLEARLY!" Alternately, it makes me think of manticores, but that's neither here nor there.

Also: "the conservative lover who doesn’t want her beau partying (ala the girlfriend of Ed Helms’ character in The Hangover)" I'd argue that girlfriend wasn't "conservative", she was actually emotionally abusive.

Movie sounds interesting, review is well written. And I've watched porn with a friend of mine who was doing a student documentary about women in porn (it was actually the aforementioned Pirates so Lurker and I now have that in common) and yes, it is kind of strange. We mostly discussed shallow things, like the horrible plastic surgery many of the actresses were sporting. Also uncomfy? We were watching it on another friend's laptop because he'd downloaded it and that was the cheapest way to get a hold of it. Yeah.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at July 30, 2009 5:27 PM

AM, I’m what you might call a traditionalist, butt sex does not interest me at all. Now in my youth I may have dropped a finger or two on a woman but that is the extent of it.

Posted by: Guess Who! at July 30, 2009 5:36 PM

Watching porn with someone else in the room, even if you're having sex with that person, would have to be weird. Hell, you can't even watch porn to take notes on sex, the whole idea of porn is for the sex to look good, it doesn't have to be fun to perform.

Although I have to admit, being able to do the same thing over and over again, and never have it get old, is pretty amazing to be able to do.

Posted by: George at July 30, 2009 5:52 PM

Luker & Jim Doggie: I don't know, it kinda varies from person to person. Some people can watch their own shit, some people refuse. I know a certain tattooed Montreal-based porn star only watches himself when he has to edit his videos, but that's about as far as it goes for most guys. Actually, I heard you get something like 5 copies of any DVD you star in, but something tells me I'd just be like "Yeah, who wants it? I'm not interested".

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 30, 2009 5:56 PM

...now if it was about two broads gettin' it on then that's different, I might be inclined to see.

Nah, you can get movies that show that multiple times without inconsequential bullshit you wont care about like plot involved in it. Why bother with the wrapper when you can have the muffin as is. (Hey, it made sense when I first thought about it.)

Posted by: George at July 30, 2009 5:57 PM

Although I have to admit, being able to do the same thing over and over again, and never have it get old, is pretty amazing to be able to do
Now wait, are you talking about porn or marriage?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 30, 2009 6:04 PM

Alternately, it makes me think of manticores, but that's neither here nor there.

Hee! This right here is why I love Rusty Genny.

I have to say, I have watched porn with friends and found it (the experience) hilarious. It's so funny to watch what is a generally very private sort of viewing experience in the company of others.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 30, 2009 6:18 PM

PRISCO HATES TEH GAYS.

Someone had to say it.

Posted by: Angus at July 30, 2009 8:22 PM

And double posting is the mark of a dipshit.

Posted by: Spender at July 30, 2009 3:19 PM

gah, couldn't you have used another word, like doofus or numbskull? cuz in the context of this movie review, the word "dipshit" sounds...*hazardous*

Posted by: gp at July 30, 2009 8:23 PM

I can picture watching porn with a boyfriend, but I can't see it being particularly sexy or romantic, more hilarious. Even with my best non-sexual friends, though, I think the weirdness level would just be too high. I'm not exactly prudish by nature, but in the same way that having sex with someone changes how you view them and interact with them, I reckon watching two other people have graphic sex will change things between you and your fellow voyeur.

I reckon a far more interesting mini-diversion is "Would you do this?" - have sex with your best friend of the gender that you're not attracted to? Or hell, have sex with your platonic best friend of the gender you are attracted to? My take would be 'no' for both, mainly cause of what I said above. Also because vaginas are icky, but mainly the "friends are friends and nothing more" thing.

Posted by: Shay at July 30, 2009 8:54 PM

Gah, you brought this upon yourself, Angus...*Folding Chair*

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 30, 2009 9:14 PM

I wanted to see this shit the second I heard about on here. Three cheers for it playing in my "area," if you will.

Posted by: SaBrina at July 30, 2009 10:13 PM

I liked this review, though since this is an indie production, I'm not likely to get a chance to see it at the cinemas. Regardless, good work, Prisco.

I watched porn with friends in uni once (3 girls, two guys). It was partly because we felt our resident 'good catholic girl' needed yet another round of perversion, and mostly because we were all pretty drunk. I remember very little about the actual porn-watching experience, except there was some terrifying plastic surgery. I think I was mostly bored, except when I was screaming at the aforementioned plastic surgery.

Best bit was the chosing of the porn. We drunkenly descended on the adult section of the local video shop and started trying to figure out if the 'explicit sex content' rating on one video meant it had more sex than the one with the 'frequent sex scenes' rating. This was an important consideration. That video shop really should have put up a guide or something.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at July 30, 2009 11:18 PM

Really? None of you have watched porn with someone as part of the sexy times? I agree that watching porn with someone else just because would be weird and uncomfortable. Hell, I get uncomfortable if I'm watching a movie with my mom and there's a long make out scene, but watching porn during sex isn't that odd.

It can be....interesting....to find out what your partner is into via porn, though.

Posted by: Christina at July 31, 2009 12:05 AM

I love the blurring of sexuality to make way for the clarity of underlying love. It happens with many people in real life, and I'm looking forward to seeing it on film.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at July 31, 2009 1:37 AM

I would like to see this, though I'll likely have to wait for DVD release.

This is an excellent review, but I also want to point out another take on it written by one of my favourite bloggers, Sady Doyle (of Tiger Beatdown, which is a hilarious blog):

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2009/jul/15/bromance-gay-film-humpday-bruno

Posted by: Dorian at July 31, 2009 9:52 AM

"Tender is the Butt"

*snort*

Hey, is it just me or does anyone else imagine Whookie hooking his thumbs in his suspenders and rocking back on his heels when he comments sometimes? Perhaps speaking around a pipe in the shape of a dead white guy?

Posted by: Kballs at July 31, 2009 10:08 AM

In college, I used to go with a group of friends to a local XXX drive-in (yes, it existed) with everyone in the back of a pickup truck, with blankets and beer.

And, it was hilarious. We would have a contest to pick specific acts and count them (hint: pearl necklaces are fairly consistent winner).

Posted by: Drake at July 31, 2009 11:16 AM

A few people above have already said this, but I'm saying it again since I agree:
I had no intention of seeing this movie. None at all. But a good review can change my mind, and now I'm kind of looking forward to it. Granted, it had to be a good movie to warrant a review like this, but . . . yeah. I like having my mind changed now and then.

Posted by: myysharona (formerly Sharon) at July 31, 2009 2:31 PM

For god's sake, when in the name of holy hell will this film get released in Britain? I am sick and tired of not having seen it.

Posted by: Caspar at August 1, 2009 2:49 AM

I like porn, and have watched it with a variety of people. I know my name is unisex, so I'll let the cat out of the big vagina-bag ahead of time and say that I'm a chick. Also, this disclaimer is for the males with active gag-reflexes and a distinct dislike of the gay.

I love gay porn. Love it. More penis? Yay! I've watched it with close girlfriends too, either sober or while getting drunk. When we're drunk we'll cheer on the top... "YAH! Give it to him! Whoa, two dicks, there?! FAR OUT WOOOOO!"

Also, maybe it's some kind of Floridian 20-something party thing, but more than a few parties I've been a part of have had porn on in the background. So we'll have 10-20 people lounge around the living room with vodka or beers, engaging in stimulating (oh yes) conversation until something comes up on the telly. This is how I was introduced to Debbie Does Dallas, where we all laughed our assess off that the old lighting/coloring effects had turned male cum a lovely shade of blue.

Posted by: Trey at August 2, 2009 3:02 PM


















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