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Captain America: The First Avenger is Comfortable and Undemanding, Like Sex without Any of the Sexiness

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (52)



Chris-Evans-in-Captain-America-costume.jpg

It seems so long ago (2008) that Robert Downey, Jr. revitalized his career with Iron Man, a movie that kicked the superhero genre in the ass. Iron Man was a throat-testicle blockbuster, the reales Abkommen, cinematic engorgia, a movie that left us gleefully priapistic. But after a slew of superhero movies — both Marvel and not — our engorged cinematic members have lost some blood. It’s not that the Marvel movies since have been bad (with the exception of Iron Man 2), it’s that it’s all felt very missionary. Our torrid backseat hate fuck with Iron Man has turned into a routine Friday night date under the sheets with the lights off.

It feels mechanical, and now Marvel Studios feels like another Hollywood industrial machine spitting out product. The good news is that, with Thor and now Captain America, Marvel has perfected the assembly-line process. Captain America is well-oiled cinematic vroom, a shiny new toy that’s fun to play with for a couple of hours but that will soon end up forgotten in the back of our memories’ toy boxes underneath the Incredible Hulk and Thor merchandise.

Indeed, Captain America looks and feels like the perfect movie for a 14-year-old boy; it’s earnest and inoffensive, all Red, White, Blue and Gee Willikers. If there’s an instruction manual for how to make a Captain America movie, Joe Johnston followed it to the letter. The problem, unfortunately, is that it looks made from a “How to Make a Captain America Movie” Kit. I’ve never read a page of the comic books and knew next to nothing about the character, but the movie is exactly as I pictured it would be.

Joe Johnston (Jumanji, Jurassic Park) was, in a way, the perfect choice, the Christopher Columbus of action movies, a man that can assemble without injecting his personality. He’s done a flawless job with Captain America, but in doing so, he’s taken away the unexpected. For all his many faults as a director, at least with Michael Bay you can marvel at how bat-shit over-the-top he can be. That motherfucker swings for the fences, even if he does end up falling on his ass most of the time. With Johnston, you get a .300 hitter who knocks a lot of singles to the opposite field. Captain America is good, but it’s like winning the game by scoring the go-ahead run on a sac fly in the top of sixth inning. It gets the job done, but without a lot of flair.

Set in 1942, Chris Evans stars as Steve Rogers, a 90-pound weakling who has been turned away from several army recruitment centers. All he wants to do is what his parents did: Serve his country. That opportunity arises when he meets a German scientists, Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci), who — along with the help of Tony’s dad, Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper) — injects him full of a serum that instantly erases his meek CGI frame and replaces it with the broad shoulders and massive pecs of Chris Evans. But instead of going to the front line, the army puts Rogers in Captain America tights and parades him around the country to raise money for the war effort.

That goodwill tour eventually takes him to Germany, where he discovers that his best friend has disappeared behind enemy lines along with several other members of a unit led by Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones). Against the wishes of Phillips, Rogers goes on a mission to save those troops with the assistance of Howard Stark and the movie’s love interest, a female British soldier, Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell). What he discovers is that Johann Schmidt/Red Skull (Hugo Weaving) — who was Dr. Erskine’s failed first test case with the serum — has abducted those troops, splintered away from the Nazis, and with the power of a Marvel MacGuffin — a magical Tesseract — built a lot of spectacularly powerful laser-type weapons that dematerialize the enemy. Red Skull, who leans toward the insane side, has his sights set on world destruction (naturally), and there’s only one man that can stop him.

Chris Evans is more than serviceable in the role of Captain America, a man of modesty and few words who knows how to handle a steel-vibranium alloy shield and throw a punch. The character unfortunately doesn’t have a lot of personality, which is shame because Evans proved in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World that he can be more than a superhero vessel. Tommy Lee Jones does an amazing impression of Tommy Lee Jones, while Tucci is equally adept at playing a German version of Stanley Tucci. Hugo Weaving, as Red Skull, should’ve been the villainous life force behind the movie, but he’s mostly reduced to an over-the-top mug, a cartoon caricature of a Nazi mad scientist. Dominic Cooper does a decent Howard Stark, but he lacks the bigger-than-life presence of the man who plays his son. Atwell likewise does an admirable job of channeling a certain stoic British charm, but she’s mostly a stock character.

Nothing in Captain America really jumps out at you, but I did appreciate the tone and coloration. It’s set in the 1940s and there’s something comfortable about the throwback vibe, something that suggests the kind of film that Michael Curtiz might have made if he had $150 million budget and access to today’s modern technology. It might’ve been improved by a couple of musical numbers, in fact.

Still, there’s a fine line between a groove and a rut, and with Captain America, it’s hard to tell which Marvel has fallen into. It’s repeating itself, but it’s doing it really well. That is to say, it’s not a bad movie, folks. In fact, it’s enjoyable. It’s just very plain. It doesn’t burst with excitement. There’s no hair pulling or ass slapping. It’s exactly what you expect, no more and no less. For better or worse, it’s a really competent, conservative superhero movie. But it’s never going to be anyone’s favorite. In fact, in The Avengers teaser that follows the end credits, there’s more electricity in that single quarter-second shot of Robert Downey, Jr. than there is in all of Captain America, and that 45-second teaser sums up the entire Marvel Universe at the moment: It’s RDJ’s show, and everyone else is just the supporting acts.









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Comments

That motherfucker swings for the fences, even if he does end up falling on his ass most of the time. With Johnston, you get a .300 hitter who knocks a lot of singles to the opposite field. Captain America is good, but it’s like winning the game by scoring the go-ahead run on a sac fly in the top of sixth inning. It gets the job done, but without a lot of flair.

So at this point I was wondering if you were writing this review just for me. No? Shut up and leave me my delusions of grandeur.

Captain America will probably shine better as more of a straight man in the Avengers movie. The impression I've gotten from the review of both this and Thor is that Marvel didn't want to muss up anything because the super blockbuster is the Avengers movie. Make some serviceable, though not exactly groundbreaking, films that set the characters up well for the next movie. Did you see anything in this or Thor that might dampen your enthusiasm for the big one?

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 22, 2011 11:42 AM

Our torrid backseat hate fuck with Iron Man has turned into a routine Friday night date under the sheets with the lights off.

Speaking of wanting to get things pregnant, if anyone needs me, I'll be under the Pajiba bleachers with this review...

Posted by: RobP at July 22, 2011 11:42 AM

I know what you mean, and in some ways, I agree with you. The problem with anything from Hollywood that starts out fresh and original is, that as soon as it becomes popular, it becomes formulaic.

But, there's a chance (albeit a slight one) that they're setting us up for the larger story arc that is Avengers. I'm hoping each one of these individual movies are just introductions - actual prequels - for the upcoming Avengers movie. I'm hoping Marvel is using these as a way of establishing character and motivation for each of these heroes, so they don't have to waste time on backstory once the compilation is complete.

By establishing Cap as the straight-up, all-American, "God, mom, and apple pie", it sets up the longer foil between him and Iron Man.

Here's hoping, anyway.

Posted by: Jaaron at July 22, 2011 11:47 AM

The character unfortunately doesn’t have a lot of personality

He never has, which is why I've never gotten into Captain America. He's a product of the 1940s, and back then, the only Marvel character with a personality was the Sub-Mariner. I'll still be seeing this, though.

Posted by: Todd at July 22, 2011 11:50 AM

As someone afflicted by chronic priapism, I suggest that you be more sensitive towards its sufferers. I assure you that it is not funny - it is extremely painful and embarrassing. Grow some compassion and imagine how difficult it would be to have a medical condition everyone thinks is funny.

Posted by: No Joking Matter at July 22, 2011 11:55 AM

Jaaron is a smart man.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 22, 2011 12:03 PM

I think you mean that Johnston directed Jurassic Park III, not Jurassic Park.

And I may be a bit lenient on this. When Lee and Kirby resurrected Cap back in the early 60s, he was an anachronism back then. How much more so for our post-Millenial eyes?

But I'll go see it.

Posted by: Fredo at July 22, 2011 12:05 PM

Here's one Pajiban who's thankful that the Marvel executives didn't try and shove the X-Men First Class movie into the Marvel universe. Please, just let the movies shine on their own. That's what made Iron man so good, and Iron Man II so bad. The first was able to shine because it was just in and of itself. The second was forced, like Thor and Captain America, to become a set up for the Avengers. Damn you franchises. Damn you all to hell.

Posted by: darmatugan at July 22, 2011 12:05 PM

Thanks, Socrates

(Am I pronouncing that right in my head? So-crates, friend of Dave Beeth-oven)

Posted by: Jaaron at July 22, 2011 12:15 PM

So Captain America was "born" in the 1940s, and Iron Man, Hulk, etc. have all been portrayed as being set in the present. How does Captain America end up with the rest of the group in The Avengers? I've never read any of the comics, so I have no background but the movies.

Posted by: Laura at July 22, 2011 12:18 PM

The Marvel Execs are not legally permitted to insert the mutants into the Avengers franchise, or the larger Marvel movie-universe. Marvel (and Disney) own the movie rights to Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Iron Man and presumably innumerable other characters. And Ghost Rider.

Sony owns Spider-man. Fox owns X-Men, Daredevil, and Fantastic Four.

Until Sony defaults on their obligation to make a Spider-man movie every few years, and Fox defaults on their obligations, those properties will remain out of Marvel's reach. But, they may no longer prove to be profitable and could default back to Marvel, which is what happened with The Hulk (won back from Universal).

Posted by: superasente at July 22, 2011 12:20 PM

Laura, in the comic-books he gets frozen in a block of ice and isn't thawed out until the present day.

Posted by: superasente at July 22, 2011 12:21 PM

Hmmm. Well, I liked Thor a lot more than Iron Man, so I'll probably love this one even more. I don't know how that works out, but I never said I was very logical.

Posted by: Figgy at July 22, 2011 12:23 PM

the only Marvel character with a personality was the Sub-Mariner

There's the character Hugo Weaving should have been playing! A Fantastic Four movie with Namor fighting Reed for Sue while riding a whale!

Posted by: Fredo at July 22, 2011 12:29 PM

So it is pretty much what people thought it would be the moment it was announced Joe Johnston was directing? Cool.

Posted by: junierizzle at July 22, 2011 12:41 PM

Yep yep Jaaron. Also, Maxine of Arc, Bob "Ghengis" Khan, Dennis Frood, Herman the Kid, and...Abraham Lincoln.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 22, 2011 1:14 PM

SAN-DIMAS HIGH-SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

Posted by: superasente at July 22, 2011 1:19 PM

I gotta disagree. The reason I loved this movie was because of the... comic book fun of it all. Iron Man was awesome and was the pinnacle of "Comic Book Fun" for me before Cap. It precisely because of that high-adventure, Whiz-bang, daring-do, that I really really liked it.

Iron Man had the breakneck action. But I felt that Captain America had more heart than you're giving it credit for. Also, Cap had a much better final showdown than Iron Man (let's face it the Obadiah Stane fight kinda fizzled when it should have brought the boom)

If the biggest complaint for a Captain America movie is that it's too good of a Captain America movie? That's pretty alright by me.

Posted by: Tanner at July 22, 2011 1:33 PM

First of all, it's VIBRANIUM, not Titantium, you smelly, floppy cuddlefish.

Second of all, we don't really love Cap for who he was in WWII -- he was exactly what you said: a stock character in the effort against the Ratzis. We love him because he becomes something else 30 or 40 (or, for pete's sake, now 70) years later when they fish him out of the frozen drink and he can view our ass-upward society in a way we can't, and fight for us stupid and weak lemmings in a way we can neither understand or fail to admire.

Sounds like this movie sets it up exactly right. Can't wait to see it.

Posted by: hater from Siloam Springs at July 22, 2011 1:39 PM

And yet, despite all you've said, I still want to see this movie. Because perfunctory sex with Chris Evans? Is still sex with Chris Evans.


(I might have missed the point. I kept picturing his abs while I was reading.)

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 22, 2011 1:40 PM

Thanks superasente, I figured it would be something like that! I hate it when people pop up in places/times with no explanation of how they got there!

Posted by: Laura at July 22, 2011 1:57 PM

I'd always thought the shield was adamantium, like the stuff in Wolverine's claws. Good to know. Although for what purpose, I'm not sure.

Posted by: Nate at July 22, 2011 2:09 PM

Cap's shield is made of a steel-vibranium alloy. Since it's creator made it by accident, he couldn't reproduce the results. His efforts to do so resulted in the discovery/invention of adamantium.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 22, 2011 2:28 PM

Cap has never been the coolest superhero. He's a guy walking around wrapped in the flag for cripes sakes. Also he has very little power by todays standards he's just a human on steroids. But in the comics at least he was the best fighter, most skilled and experienced. That made him respected.

I do agree that the Marvel universe is RDJ's universe the rest are just living in it.

Posted by: logan at July 22, 2011 2:47 PM

Cap's shield is made of a steel-vibranium alloy. Since it's creator made it by accident, he couldn't reproduce the results. His efforts to do so resulted in the discovery/invention of adamantium.

Wow. I would never have known this what with getting laid and everything.

Posted by: PissBoy at July 22, 2011 2:59 PM

Granted I already knew that (though from what source I can't recall), but it took literally 30 seconds to look that up. Wikipedia and all. Being a nerd is less time consuming than ever.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 22, 2011 3:02 PM

Wait, I thought adamantium was extracted from a meteor, and vibranium was mined in Wakanda. Oh, and normally I wouldn't care, but if Dustin is going to disparage geeks because they are not rushing to drool over Kunisian sideboob, than I'm going to do my best to have long conversations about Cap's shield. So the paint used on a vibranium/steel alloy, does it have to avoid galvanic action with the shield? Because it's difficult to paint galvanized steel with any sort of standard paint, and I have to imagine that the shield would have similiar problems. Do they use a heat applied finish, some sort of Kynar product, a baked enamel sort of finish, or just the local auto shop? Where does vibranium fall on the galvanic table anyway? Do you have to use brass studs to attach the straps or are there simple grommets to allow for attachement? Can you take it on a plane? I mean if you've got Cap's shield you're not a terrorist, right?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 22, 2011 3:05 PM

Well, if you have Cap's shield, then it's pretty likely you're Captain America, so not a terrorist.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 22, 2011 3:08 PM

Is his shield still indestructible BTW? It used to be back in the day. Even the Hulk couldn't crush it.

Posted by: logan at July 22, 2011 3:13 PM

If you have Cap's shield and you're NOT Cap, then you MUST be a terrorist. Only a terrorist would steal Cap's shield.

Posted by: Paultera at July 22, 2011 4:25 PM

Oh, Tony Stark is a terrorist now? What side of the Civil War did you fall on, fascist?!

Posted by: superasente at July 22, 2011 4:37 PM

It might’ve been improved by a couple of musical numbers, in fact.


what is this i don't even.

Posted by: gp at July 22, 2011 4:56 PM

My problem with the Avengers is the lack of balance with the near demigods/actual god and the second-tier heroes. And with Joss Whedon at the wheel, I'm afraid it'll turn into the 'Thor and Iron Man and Cap Plus Some Other Guys' show.

Posted by: Ozioma at July 22, 2011 5:04 PM

I forgot about Tony Stark. He uses it for a paper weight essentially though, I don't think he's a danger to national security with it.

Posted by: Paultera at July 22, 2011 5:08 PM

"As someone afflicted by chronic priapism, I suggest that you be more sensitive towards its sufferers. I assure you that it is not funny - it is extremely painful and embarrassing. Grow some compassion and imagine how difficult it would be to have a medical condition everyone thinks is funny."

I can't even imagine. It must be really hard for you, huh?

Posted by: Craig at July 22, 2011 5:08 PM

Craig is my new hero.

As for Cap's shield, if you could steal it, that means you could lift it -- no, it ain't Mjolnir, but it's still supposed to be damned heavy. In which case, whether you're a terrorist or Tony Stark, authorities should treat with caution. I'm guessing your average Air Marshall couldn't take the guy/gal who stole Captain America's shield.

Unless it was Batroc the Leaper.

Posted by: RobP at July 22, 2011 5:34 PM

I'd avoid the group hug at the priapism support group meeting.

Posted by: Codeman at July 22, 2011 5:42 PM

Are you kidding? The only reason I go to the meetings is for the group hug.

Posted by: ZombieMedic at July 22, 2011 6:15 PM

Solid tip from Codeman. The shaft is pretty solid too.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 22, 2011 6:15 PM

This thread has given me BACK my virginity. So... thanks?

Posted by: Tammy at July 22, 2011 8:16 PM

I had a ton of fun at this tonight. This was in spite of the dialog so cheesy I almost got a migraine from rolling my eyes. Thank goodness it was an action-driven comic movie and not a talk-driven comic movie like Thor.

Posted by: Robert at July 23, 2011 12:05 AM

If you have Cap's shield and you're NOT Cap, then you MUST be a terrorist.

Or you're Stephen Colbert. He has enough trouble getting his brass balls through airport security, to say nothing of the shield.

Posted by: Edith at July 23, 2011 12:12 AM

I cosign MelBivDevoe's comment. Mmmm... Chris Evans...

Posted by: Even Stevens at July 23, 2011 12:23 AM

Our torrid backseat hate fuck with Iron Man has turned into a routine Friday night date under the sheets with the lights off.

I found it more like a inventive, spontaneous lust-a-thon when a long-time acquaintance suddenly embodies the potential I had thought long passed. RDJ 2.0 is the trajectory I was anticipating after Chaplain.

It's like the pudgy old friend who buffs up, chills out and you discover was a bohemian freak all along.

Um ... just realized I gotta call some old friends ...

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at July 23, 2011 9:21 AM

I, for one, rather enjoy starting off under the sheets with the lights off... you gots to work the intensity arc.


Yeah... work that arc. Work it.

Posted by: firedmyass at July 23, 2011 1:40 PM

am i the only one who finds it funny that hater from Siloam Springs gets his tits in a knot about someone being ignorant of the fact that "it's VIBRANIUM, not Titanium[sic]" (you just read that quote in Comic Book Guy's voice, didn't you?) and then he proceeds to label that person a "cuddlefish"?

little known fact, the cuddlefish went extinct when the last surviving specimen tried to cheer up a sand shark that had been having a bad day at the Sea World aquarium.

true story.

pssst, hater, they're called cuttlefish.

Posted by: mr. cephalupagus at July 23, 2011 2:45 PM

although now, the more i think about it, it would be awesome if there were such things as cuddlefish.

i could totally use a hug today.

Posted by: mr. cephalupagus at July 23, 2011 2:52 PM

Indeed, Captain America looks and feels like the perfect movie for a 14-year-old boy; it’s earnest and inoffensive, all Red, White, Blue and Gee Willikers.

14-year-old boys from TV Land 50s, maybe. Have you ever ridden a NY subway with a group of 14-year-old boys? Earnest and inoffensive are not the adjectives that spring to mind.

As I am neither a 14-year-old boy nor a resident of TV Land, I will be passing.

Posted by: SaBrina at July 23, 2011 4:12 PM

am i the only one who finds it funny that hater from Siloam Springs gets his tits in a knot about someone being ignorant of the fact that "it's VIBRANIUM, not Titanium[sic]" (you just read that quote in Comic Book Guy's voice, didn't you?) and then he proceeds to label that person a "cuddlefish"?

I think the comment was probably meant to be jokey, i.e. the guy was playing the part of being offended using intentionally ridiculous language (including identifying himself as a "hater") as sort of a self-aware joke about how trivial his nitpick was. I've done stuff like that myself in the past, when I feel the urge to nitpick something but am perfectly aware of how unimportant it is.

Posted by: Jesse M. at July 23, 2011 9:46 PM

Also, I don't know if the guy got it from here, but "cuddlefish" is a term that's used a lot on the blog xkcd sucks, for haters of the webcomic xkcd (see the last entry in the FAQ here for a little explanation). I've never seen it used anywhere else so if "hater from Siloam Springs" got it from there I don't know why he would use such an in-jokey term here and expect anyone to get it, but maybe he just didn't realize that it's not really a widely used bit of slang.

Posted by: Jesse M. at July 23, 2011 9:59 PM

Saw this yesterday at a 3PM matinee and it was packed! The nerd herds were large and numerous.

The movie was good but it definitely had an old fashioned feel to it. Which to me seemed appropriate for a movie based in 1943. Evans is alright as Cap he's earnest, and hard working, and smart but a bit too stoic. Cap banters more in the comics and that would have been nice. The combat scenes were good I thought and they use the shield very well IMO.
More Red Skull would have been nice and Tommy Lee Jones was kind of wasted as this wise cracking commander. It seems to be a common flaw in comic book movies, they get top actors then give them rather small roles.
All in all we liked it but its not as good as Iron Man #1 which remains the gold standard for Marvel movies.

Posted by: logan at July 24, 2011 10:26 AM

SPOILER ALERT!!!!


Captain was frozen along with the shield. Tony Stark most likely has a failed prototype that he got from his father.

Posted by: darkhorse666 at July 26, 2011 9:09 AM