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Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son Review: 25 Million People Are Unemployed in the United States and Martin Lawrence Isn't One of Them

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (28)



big-mommas-like-father-like-son-490x270.jpg

The United States economy is currently sporting close to a 10 percent unemployment rate. Right now, for every available employment position in the United States, there are five people vying for the job. The median duration of unemployment is over 30 weeks. More than 25 million Americans are now either jobless or underemployed.

Martin Lawrence is not one of them.

When the recession hit, millions of hard-working people, many of whom who rarely missed a day of work, who gave their lives to companies, and who put every bit of themselves into their work, still lost their jobs, as well as their means to support their families. Meanwhile, Martin Lawrence gives a lousy effort for a few hours several weeks out of the year, recycles old material, tells the same jokes, wears the same expressions, and makes the same movies, and yet he’s a multimillionaire. He’s lazy, incompetent, unoriginal, and apathetic. He also lives in a $37 million mansion, and he doesn’t give a shit.

Being an entertainer is a job. It might be a fun job, a job that comes with fame and money, and a job that many aspire to have. But it’s a job. And in any other profession in America, Martin Lawrence would’ve been fired years ago. He would have been fired for being inadequate, ineffectual, useless comedian who not only doesn’t have the ability to provoke laughter, but doesn’t care enough to even try. In Hollywood, that makes him a seriously wealthy man.

Today, I gave Martin Lawrence and his movie, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son $8. Like the millions of others who will do the same thing over the next few weeks, that $8 admission was an implicit contract. In exchange for a portion of my wages, it was understood that Martin Lawrence would entertain me. Given his track record, I had little expectation that he’d actually do so, but I did expect a modicum of effort. If he’d tried and failed, I could at least appreciate the endeavor.

But Martin Lawrence didn’t try. He put on a fat suit, he rolled his eyes a few times, danced on a table, posed for a nude art class, stole a storyline from Some Like It Hot and mashed it together with gags from his last two Big Momma movies, wrinkled his nose and delivered a few bad lines written by other incompetent people who spent almost no time writing a script. Brandon T. Jackson, who played Martin Lawrence’s son, also put on a fat suit, and in infiltrating an all-women’s college to locate a flash drive hidden in a stolen music box, Jackson’s character fell in love with one of the college students, who didn’t realize that she was a he.

In other words, Martin Lawrence told the exact same story from Big Momma’s House with a younger character, who could ostensibly rap. Brandon T. Jackson was paid an obscene amount of money for this, even though he failed to once provoke laughter or present to the audience something that they had not seen a multitude of times before. A man named John Whitesell directed the movie, and even though he failed to bring any of the characters to life or engage the audience, he too was paid handsomely. Likewise, two men named Don Rhymer and Matthew Fogel put very little effort into writing a script and were overpaid for doing so, and that would be the case if they were given any more than five nickels a piece.

In America, most people are paid commensurate with their talent, experience, and knowledge. In Hollywood, incompetence is richly rewarded. The sadder reality is, it is those very same wage laborers who allow men like Martin Lawrence to live in $37 million mansions. As a critic, all I can do is encourage you not to reward other people’s effortless failures, like Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son, or allow people like Martin Lawrence to take advantage of your expectations. It may not make you a rich person to avoid a movie like this, but if you do so long enough, people like Martin Lawrence will also be unemployed. And while that may not be a desirable result, it is a just one.









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Comments

This is a slow clap moment, right?

Posted by: Ryan at February 18, 2011 3:09 PM

I watched Big Momma's House once. I laughed a couple times, nothing amazing about it. I had no interest in seeing Big Momma's house 2 or this one. Some things just don't need sequels to them.

Posted by: Sarah at February 18, 2011 3:22 PM

Fat. Suit. Comedy.

One of these words, does not belong!

Posted by: Murderbot at February 18, 2011 3:26 PM

"In America, most people are paid commensurate with their talent, experience, and knowledge."

Hmm! Having worked in Corporate America for as long as I have, I'm not sure I agree with this statement.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 18, 2011 3:29 PM

A man named John Whitesell directed the movie

No. Fucking. Way.

Posted by: Perfect Tommy at February 18, 2011 3:30 PM

A man named John Whitesell directed the movie

No. Fucking. Way.


Good catch, Perfect Tommy. That's the only original joke, it seems, this film can lay claim to.

Posted by: sittingpat at February 18, 2011 3:36 PM

"In America, most people are paid commensurate with their talent, experience, and knowledge."

Seconded PaddyDog. I always thought corporate pay scales were a direct function of ass-kissing combined with personal heinousness and a healthy dose of cupidity.

Posted by: meh at February 18, 2011 3:49 PM

"A man named John Whitesell directed the movie"

-Sounds like the name for a used Port-A-Potie dealer. And given that this movie sounds like it's full of shit, I guess it isn't really that far a stretch either.

Posted by: bleujayone at February 18, 2011 4:06 PM

-- "More than 25 million Americans are now either jobless or underemployed. Martin Lawrence is not one of them."

Actually, once that movie wrapped he probably was "unemployed" and I bet that bitch collected his unemployment check.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 18, 2011 4:13 PM

Why didn't they stop with the first one????! I hate needless sequels. Hopefully this won't be like Land Before Time. What are they on now- LBT 75?

Posted by: Marvelous Mousey at February 18, 2011 4:29 PM

What happened to Martin Lawrence? This is not the comic from You So Crazy or "Martin." This is not a man interested in highlighting his intelligence.

I blame the Baynis.

Posted by: Fredo at February 18, 2011 4:51 PM

I would much rather watch Shemanda or Honky Grandma be Trippin.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 18, 2011 5:04 PM

OK the other day I bitched that you were posting about some Kardashian BS when there hadn't been a movie review in days. I apologize. I would rather read my own job description than see this movie and I am sorry I assumed any movie review had to be better than celebrity gossip. I was wrong, thanks anyway.

Posted by: Phat girl at February 18, 2011 5:12 PM

I feel the need to point out that Martin Lawrence hasn't been "fired" for doing a shitty job because we moviegoers are ostensibly his bosses...if we don't pay to see it, he won't get the opportunity to squeeze out any more piles of cinematic excrement. Unfortunately, it appears someone out there feels he's doing a good job, because they keep forking over the cash to experience this tripe.

Posted by: Jessie at February 18, 2011 5:17 PM

I don't think John Whitesell is the director's real name. I think he didn't want to/couldn't put "Alan Smithee" on it and decided to put something in as a backhanded reference to the executives who greenlit this.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at February 18, 2011 5:32 PM

You need to point your sneer not at Lawrence, but at idiots like yourself who paid to see his movie.

Seriously, where you get off bitching about how he would have been "fired" in the real world? Let's look at the facts :

1. He's been hired to be in a movie. He shows up, does his job.
2 . The movie producers hope their investment in him pays off. It does. Ka-ching.
3. They make sequels because the movies do so well, and Lawrence is given a "raise" for being part of a successful business.

How can you hate on him for doing what he was paid to do. He was paid to get fat butts in seats.

You're way off base, Dustin. Your hatred for successful actors you seem unworthy overshadows your ability to write a good review.

Posted by: Horace at February 18, 2011 5:35 PM

RE In America, most people are paid commensurate with their talent, experience, and knowledge.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to disagree with this. I'm not saying I'm underpaid, but lots of other people are. People who do shitty jobs. Pro athletes and many people in Hollywood sure as shit aren't underpaid, but the little people, who do many cruddy, thankless jobs, sure as shit are. While Wall Street doles out multi-million-dollar bonuses.

I do think Martin Lawrence is unfunny. He's always been unfunny. His appeal is lost on me. But ... if he can get people to pay him to put on a fat suit and ridicule fat black women ... I guess I can't fault him too much. The money's not coming out of my pocket.

Posted by: Slash at February 18, 2011 6:00 PM

Here's the thing:

We all knew that this was going to suck from inception. Really, the only thing that's more unnecessary in terms of Martin Lawrence films is going to be if The Skank Robbers does actually get finished.

That Jamie Foxx gets an Oscar and thinks he can do any damn thing.

Posted by: Jerry at February 18, 2011 6:39 PM

Rowles I have a new level of respect for you, sir. I don’t know where you get the strength to sit through almost two hours of the most stupidest shit imaginable. I guess it would be like me having to sit and watch FOX News for two hours.

Posted by: Pookie at February 18, 2011 6:55 PM

"I don't think John Whitesell is the director's real name. I think he didn't want to/couldn't put "Alan Smithee" on it and decided to put something in as a backhanded reference to the executives who greenlit this."

-Posted by: Jim Doggie at February 18, 2011 5:32 PM


Sorry Jim, it would seem the man really does exist, but oddly enough his career does read like an Alan Smithee resume. His bio's picture looks like a middle-aged Eddie Munster who was locked up inside of a KFC for 10 years. On the other hand he did direct several very special episodes of "Blossom". So I guess once you get the stink of Joey's taint on you, these are the movies you're forever destined to helm.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0925870/

Posted by: bleujayone at February 18, 2011 7:33 PM

Did anyone else catch the "Mornings with Martin" ad (some new Martin Lawrence show on mtv2) on the right of this page?

It's pretty funny that while you tear Martin Lawrence apart in your review he's advertising his new show on your site.

Posted by: THRILLHO at February 18, 2011 8:54 PM

At one point, about 4 or years ago I was in a Blockbuster (don't judge me!) and there was a wall of Big Mama's House 2. I couldn't find Dog Soldiers or Oldboy, but there were at least a hundred copies of this movie because Blockbuster had their "it's here or it's free" promotion. There is no way to look at a wall of Big Mama's house 2 and not decide your civilization is in decline. Sure Hollywood will push out crap. But sequals of crap with the knowledge that this will make mney? Break out the togas and fiddles folks, and enjoy the bonfire. Rivers of blood and the darkening of skies to follow.

Posted by: mrcreosote at February 18, 2011 11:02 PM

One good thing to come out of this movie: this parody featuring Jaleel "Steve Urkel" White

Posted by: Jesse M. at February 18, 2011 11:48 PM

Hi. I'm not a new visitor, and I've posted under a few 'handles' in the last six years. After communicating with Mr. Rowles, who doesn't know me from any other random commenter, or "troll," on this site, I am now only posting under this one specific name, and will continue to comment on reviews and comments, with the implied understanding that Dustin may himself edit or delete my commentary as he, or any other staff member of Pajiba, sees fit, and will not be contested. I'm neither planning or warning of an offensive or inflammatory comment in the future- I just feel the necessity to establish a singular identity, and take the negative reactions as best I can, as anyone who posts on this site should be well prepared for.
This is my first post using this name, and I will only use the 'CR' initials to identify myself in the future. Thanx for letting me introduce myself.

CR

"In America, most people are paid commensurate with their talent, experience, and knowledge."

Thirding with PaddyDog and meh on that questionable statement.

But allow me to make a not-so-impassioned plea for mercy on Mr. Lawrence, to "commiserate" on the "commensuration," if you will:

Eddie Murphy was, and is, a 'template' for what such talents as Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen and others lower themselves and their craft to, professionaly and artistically, because they can satisfy their agents and publicists and ever-loyal fanbase by churning out carbon-copies of the EXACT SAME CRAP that Murphy, and Adam Sandler, and Ben Stiller and Mike Myers made GAZILLIONS of dollars for.. they'll never achieve the financial success these 'box-office winners' have already accomplished, but who can blame these 'runners-up' for attempting, and succeeding, to get away with the same thing???

Murphy and Sandler made their fortunes years ago - every 'Nutty Professor' or 'Norbit' or 'No Strings Attached' or 'Grownups' is a bitch-slap in the face to every theatrical film-goer who maintains blind loyalty to these selfish, lazy-ass millionaires who forgot what "funny" was years ago and simply shit out another lame-ass product for the ignorant masses to pad their fortunes.
That fact isn't lost on Horace, but the motivation and commitment an artist invests into their craft when they're still struggling to get recognized is completely destroyed when they achieve that recognition and knowingly exploit and demaean that talent with continuously shitty product, knowing that it's shitty and still laughing their own way to the bank.

And, thanks to commenters like bleujayone, who contribute necessary and revealing items like the Whitesell link that exposes these lazy-ass 'auteurs' for what they really are, one can always rely on Pajiba for an all-encompassing overview of the really good and obviously stinky state of the film industry.

Shout-out to Phat girl for my favorite response tonight: "I would rather read my own job description than see this movie."

If that ain't a definitive enough opinion for you, then you're definitely on the wrong site.

Posted by: Comment Reviewer (CR) at February 19, 2011 12:38 AM

Indeed, Mr. Creosote, indeed.

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at February 19, 2011 1:18 AM

And this is why Martin Lawrence is my mortal enemy.

Posted by: Figgy at February 19, 2011 1:28 AM

"Seriously, where you get off bitching about how he would have been "fired" in the real world?"
This sadly ...is pretty accurate, because he wouldn't be fired. They make money, I don't know how, but they do. I don't know how this movie cost 32 million dollars to make, but it did.

Come on world, lets make a concerted effort not to turn into Idiocracy. Nut shot humor can be funny, but it's lazy, and we shouldn't base a whole movie around them... unless we're Hans Moleman.

Posted by: e at February 20, 2011 6:37 PM

Sadly, this film will probably make it to Europe where it will be badly dubbed and broadly screened, and millions of viewers who have never met an African American will then draw their own conclusions.
Seriously, I went through this already with Eddie Murphy in the '80s. Stop the madness!

Posted by: cinekat at February 21, 2011 8:48 AM