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No, Really, There’s Something About Mary

By William Goss | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (24)



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She has Asperger’s.

That’s got to be it. Mary Horowitz, as played by Sandra Bullock in the new (alleged) romantic comedy All About Steve, must suffer from Asperger’s syndrome.

If I apply my own gross oversimplification of the condition from my recent review of Adam - that one has a reduced level of social interaction and similar lack of empathy for others - then it makes sense now. It makes sense that this Sacramento crossword constructor is fond of gaudy red boots and chatting with her pet hamster. It makes sense that she’s prone to spouting trivia and pouncing on unsuspecting blind dates like our eponymous cameraman before they even leave her parents’ driveway, and it makes sense that she then follows him from state to state after he bluffs his way out of said blind date.

In that case, Bullock gives a tremendously committed performance in her portrayal of a middle-aged woman with the hair of a Pomeranian and a mouth that won’t quit, a woman proud of how special and unique and utterly not normal she is, and a woman determined to make that man her own and not let any otherwise accurate allegations of stalking stand in her way, and in that case, it’s a pity to see Bradley Cooper play such a poorly communicative rascal who would lead her on with sarcasm and then straight-up denial as his California-based news team travels across most of the continental U.S. chasing leads on hostage situations, hurricanes, and the occasional flock of deaf children falling into a mine shaft outside of a state fair.

It’s all so inherently dramatic that it’s a relief to see Thomas Haden Church show up as a pompous newsman and help us all break a smile through so much adversity. After all, Mary does endure a tornado while on a road trip (bringing to mind Sandra Bullock’s own Forces of Nature and co-star D.J. Qualls’, um, Road Trip), and she does eventually fall down into said mine shaft where she finds one little deaf girl left behind, whom she calls “Little Deaf Girl” and proceeds to talk to incessantly, despite her little deaf disability. Katy Mixon shows up as a mere ditz to Bullock’s dysfunctional protagonist, bringing all of her own stupidity to the table but none of the sociopathic tendencies that really set Mary apart from every other bimbo fighting for the preservation of a baby’s third leg.

In fact, despite being named after the theme of the crossword puzzle that gets her fired, All About Steve is really all about Mary, in all her quirky, scary-thoughtful glory. Our gratitude goes to director Phil Traill and writer Kim Barker (of the similarly moving License to Wed) for keeping the focus where it belongs, on this timid and talkative woman. I mean, since this is a film all about Mary and her struggles to fight Asperger’s and find her one true love, we could probably see nominations for Bullock, Barker, and maybe even the movie itself (now that they have ten slots for Best Picture and all).

Because it is all about Asperger’s. Right?


William Goss lives in Orlando, Florida. But don’t hold that against him.









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Comments

So in other words Bullock is playing the same character she's always played:

Annoying perky person.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2009 3:07 PM

I have like an event horizon crush on Sandra Bullock. But man she makes some shitty movies.

Posted by: EricD at September 4, 2009 3:09 PM

Just wait till you see "Love Happens." Just wait.

Posted by: Dave at September 4, 2009 3:18 PM

I just came to say I'm sorry you had to sit through this. I hope you at least had good snacks and disruptive theater-mates.

Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2009 3:27 PM

This film's concept makes me so uncomfortable. The review joke that she has special needs is ironic: Mr. PaddyDog actually went through six months of having a real special needs woman who worked in the mail room at his office become obssessed with him. She phoned incessantly and invited him to go to the movies with her. He went once trying to be sensitive to the fact that she was different, but it became impossible and in the end there was no way to avoid hurting her because he just had to walk away. There's just nothing funny about these situations in real life.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2009 3:27 PM

There was nothing funny about it in the movie, either. At all.

Posted by: HotMustard at September 4, 2009 3:35 PM

The woman is married to a man who had a pornstar wife, has been in jail, has a history of drug abuse and talks without opening his mouth.

And yet, compared to her agreeing to be in this movie, its not her worst decision ever.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at September 4, 2009 3:45 PM

Great review Goss, now this is more like it. I knew you had it in you, hold on, wait......sorry Goss. I thought you were reviewing The Tao of Steve. Nevermind.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 3:54 PM

Is it just me, or does Sandy seem to be channelling Kathie Lee Gifford in this film, with the hair and the psychotic chirpyness?

Just another reason to say "no thanks" to this.

Posted by: lil_a at September 4, 2009 4:12 PM

I suppose Ms. Bullock's performance qualifies as "not going full retard."

I shall avoid this movie like the plague. Never mind that I couldn't afford to go see it if I wanted to, fucking COBRA bills...where's my whiskey...

Posted by: Cat at September 4, 2009 4:23 PM

the occasional flock of deaf children falling into a mine shaft outside of a state fair

Huh?

every other bimbo fighting for the preservation of a baby’s third leg

Wha...doubleHUH??

Seriously, Sandra Bullock let them make her look SO awful. I get that her character is *supposed* to be less than attractive, both physically and in personality. But if I were a 40-ish actress, where image is everything, I would not have let them make me look hideous and used-up for two hours on a 40-foot high (or however high they are) screen unless I was promised a gold statuette IN ADVANCE.

I mean, Charlize Theron looked awful in Monster, but there was a pretty damn good reason.

Posted by: MM at September 4, 2009 4:38 PM

Who the poop is William Goss?

Posted by: AM at September 4, 2009 5:02 PM

I am confused... Isn't Aspergers part of every modern romcom? Especially if it stars Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider. Definitely if it reeks of Schneider. Even my beloved Lloyd Dobbler seems to have a little spectrum disorder going on there.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 4, 2009 5:28 PM

AM, William Goss is just some writer that Rowles met at one of those movie conferences symposium deals. Rowles is just trying him out to see if the guy has anything, he’s not on the payroll if that’s what you’re wondering. My inside sources tell me it’s not going to last, the guy just writes with too much anger.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 5:43 PM

So...the Manic Pixie Dream Girl grows up to become just Manic.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at September 4, 2009 5:54 PM

Even my beloved Lloyd Dobbler seems to have a little spectrum disorder going on there.

In a whole slew of obsessers, the far-and-away winner is Corey, whose sixty songs about Joe are all, um, very rhymey.

Posted by: Caroline at September 4, 2009 6:23 PM

*sigh* But I love Bradley. He's worth it, right? ...right?

Posted by: Gabs at September 4, 2009 9:05 PM

In a whole slew of obsessers, the far-and-away winner is Corey, whose sixty songs about Joe are all, um, very rhymey.

Ah yes, "Joe lies when he cries." And let's not forget: "That'll never be me; that'll never be me; that'll never be, never be, never be me... DON'T YOU EVEN THINK IT!"

Posted by: little ya at September 4, 2009 9:47 PM

That last part is Corey's most glorious, oblivious moment, like when Rain Man farts in the phone booth and says to his brother, "I don't mind."

Posted by: Caroline at September 5, 2009 8:23 AM

Hilariously, at Rotten Tomatoes even many of the mainstream press critics are suggesting that Sandra Bullock's character appears to have a serious, undiagnosed mental disorder. I expect Pajiba to take that approach, but it's fun to see that in the rest of the critical community, too. Lord, this movie sounds TERRIBLE.

Posted by: Edith at September 6, 2009 1:50 PM

Oh, Sandra. I have an unmitigated girl-crush on you, but...NO.

Posted by: bonnie at September 6, 2009 11:20 PM

This movie was a complete and utter waste of film. I haven't walked out of a movie in a very VERY long time but just couldn't take this flat, bland, movie any longer. I lasted 1 hour exactly and couldn't care less about it ends. I just wish I could get that one back in my lifetime. What a terrible flick.....How the hell did this make it to the boxoffice. Forget going straight to video....it should have gone straight into the trash and I'm NOT kidding. It Sucked!!!!

Posted by: Down and Out at September 8, 2009 9:54 PM

About 20 minutes into the movie I just thought " OMG , this woman has to have Asperger's, there's just no other explanation for all this craziness!" It was a stupid movie (although it did get some laughs out of me) and I cannot believe made it to a screen. Sandra must be in a very tight situation, or in some mid-life crisis, if she felt the need to not only star, but also produce, this movie. If she really does have Asperger's then they should have said something, or it else its simply just not believable!

Posted by: Liz at September 12, 2009 4:39 PM

I went to watch this movie with my sister, her boyfriend and my cousin; we loved it:D
i think it was a great movie it was the best comedy movie i've watched in a long time. I liked it.

Posted by: alicia at September 27, 2009 5:55 PM


















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