Yeezianity is an Official Religion. Here's Why We Should All Join at Once.

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Yeezianity is an Official Religion. Here's Why We Should All Join at Once.

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | January 15, 2014 | Comments ()


According to Time, an anonymous group has formed a religion around His Holiness, Kanye West. To some, this might seem odd, even blasphemous. I think it makes more sense than you might think.

Because he has already stood up against dark forces.


Because he is not ashamed to fraternize with those seen as wicked or sinful.



Because he speaks the truth.


Because his responsibilities are vast.


Because his priorities are solid.


Because his apostles are flawless.


Because he knows how to make a lady feel special.


Because I would climb up to the damn mount to see more of his sermons.



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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I always thought the song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" was Carrie Underwood's ode to drunk driving. Perhaps, because I've never actually listened to it.

  • kirbyjay

    I'm feeling ambiguous about Kanye and the water bottle. On one hand, he had enough courtesy to his fellow man to think that he should place trash in the proper receptacle, on the other hand, he was pissing and whining about having to actually do it.

  • jennp421

    I can relate to his sentiment - I hate those moments when I wake up on a plane and realize I missed the last trash collection walk through, and I had a water bottle.

  • Kris

    At first, I read this as "Breezianity is an official religion." I didn't know whether to facepalm or feel a little bit of closure.

  • I enjoy both Kanye and Timberlake tremendously. Never cared what musicians did with their personal lives. I only care if their music passes my own personal ear test. College Dropout, Late Registration, and MBDTF are classic rap albums. Most go an entire career without one. Yeezy has three. Do I wish he was more likable? Sure. Do I hope he returns to his chipmunk soul beats? Absolutely. But I'll listen to anything he releases because the dude is brilliant.

    This was damn funny, too

  • I hate myself for it, but that water bottle tweet made me crack up HARD. Because yeah, ugh, random water bottles.

  • Aaron Schulz

    yeah theres something really funny about that tweet. i feel like he was genuinely upset and i totally understand why.

  • Samantha Klein

    So glad I'm an atheist.

  • Skyler Durden

    I won't lie - I earnestly and loudly laughed at that water bottle tweet. I don't know if he was trying to be funny, but that was comedy GOLD.

  • Salieri2

    Josh Groban sings the Tweets of Kanye West. An oldie but a goodie.

  • emmalita

    Supervelma on Etsy was offering hand embroidered, framed Kanye tweets. She may still do them.

  • el_mediocre

    I got the "sometimes I get emotional over fonts" one for my sister a while back. Because she does.

  • emmalita

    Yeezus has something for all of us.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    When I read that one I couldn't help but read it as Aziz Ansari. It made an already perfect tweet that much more.

  • One hopes he remembers to affix the oxygen mask securely to his own face before assisting the water bottle.

  • lingli

    I don't do Twitter but on the basis of the examples here am seriously considering following Kanye...

  • Guest

    During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was because I created these shoes that don't leave footprints. FASHION.

  • You had me at "Yeezus Take the Wheel."

    To be honest, this makes about as much sense as anything else.

  • maureenc

    He's from Chicago, so he probably knows how to drive in snowy conditions. At least better than some guy who grew up in a warm climate before the invention of automobiles.

  • Do you think he'll have a bumper sticker that says "Bob from Knoxville Is My Co-Pilot?"

  • bastich

    I smell an all-Yeezus covers album!

    ("Drop-Kick Me Yeezus Through The Goalposts of Life")

  • Sara_Tonin00

    My Own, Personal, YEEZUS?

  • Rock Me, Sexy Yeezus?


  • emmalita

    It's like you read my mind, but are much much funnier.

  • kdm

    "And when you call Y-E-E-Z-U-S you always call toll-free
    He's the telephone repairman on the switchboard of my life."

  • luthien26

    I would probably buy the hell out of that.

  • Yossarian

    You might be on to something here. Just like the last savior his teachings and pronouncements form a disjointed and frequently contradictory whole, speaking out against injustices and highlighting concern for the less fortunate in one breath and then veering into bizarre self-aggrandizement, uncomfortable misogyny, and a persecution complex.

  • JustOP

    Seriously can't hate this guy because a. his music is amazing and b. he just makes me laugh all the time. Can understand how people are frustrated by his weird pretentious smarm but I just find it hilarious.

  • Mario Gp

    I need a crucifixion first. Then I'll believe

  • bastich

    I call dibs on denying him three times!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    What about the strange runes carved into his head? surely a secret message to his followers.

  • Debra George

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    ☰☰󠁲☰☰ ☰☰☰☰☰ ☰☰☰☰ ☰☰󠁜☰☰☰it was because I created these shoes that don't leave footprints. FASHION.

  • bastich

    Spambots make baby Yeezus cry.

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  • PDamian

    Oh, is that what the message is? I wondered ...

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