Why You Should Pity Justin Bieber

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | November 6, 2015 | Comments ()

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | November 6, 2015 |


We’re with you in thinking this Canadian pop star is an entitled douchebag, and his dad’s even worse. But we’ve learned a shocking fact that’s made us feel true pity for Justin Bieber: He doesn’t know who Bette Midler is.

This wretched reveal came out when Bieber was asked to comment on The Divine Miss M’s response to his dad’s gross comments about Bieb’s dick size.

In an interview with Billboard, Bieber said:

This Britt Meddler, I don’t even know who that is, honestly. I wanted to immediately say ‘Who is this lady?’, but then I’m just fueling this negativity. I do feel the photo was an invasion of my privacy. I felt super violated. My dad made light of it, but I don’t think that’s sick and twisted. It was funny. Dads are going to be dads.

Do you know what this means? This poor young man, for all his wealth, fame, and luxury, had been denied some of the world’s greatest treasures, like Hocus Pocus. What kind of childhood is that?

He doesn’t know the heart-melting mix of pain and joy that is “The Rose.”

He’s never slayed at karaoke with a little help from Mama.

He’s never gotten blitzed on Pinot Grigio while cackling over The First Wives Club.

He’s never cried his fucking face off over Beaches.

And he doesn’t know the joys of Midler’s Twitter account, where she shows sass like this:

And retweets wit like this:

Poor bastard.

Kristy Puchko will take any excuse to fall down a Midler rabbithole.


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