Hey Ladies: This is How Real, Ordinary Men Would Look in Sexy Underwear Ads

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Hey Ladies: This is How Real, Ordinary Men Would Look in Sexy Underwear Ads

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrities Are Better than You | October 2, 2013 | Comments ()


It is common to complain about glossy magazine covers featuring unrealistic-looking, airbrushed women on the covers, and how that changes the perceptions and expectations of men, but men occasionally get a bad rap, too. We don’t all look like David Beckham in our underwear, but the nice thing is, most women — who better understand the difference between women on the cover of magazines and women in real life — typically do not have those same expectations. There will be hairs in places one might not expect from looking at a male underwear ad, and those gleaming pectorals aren’t so gleaming and pectoral when a dude just polished off last night’s Chinese leftovers (although, greasy Chinese food will give us a certain sheen).

The point is: You’re not likely to see our rib cages and ripples when we take off our shirts, either, as demonstrated in the ads below (although, even most of these guys are more trim than your average Wisconsin man).





(Source: The Sun via DesignTaxi)

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • dysiluzhund

    glasses guy is sexy....i'd hit it....

  • Jackie Jormpjomp

    When are bald 19th century circus strong men considered "normal"?

  • Mama

    I love this!!! All the men look great to me. Can we just do this from now on? Same for women?

  • Janey

    Walter White in his tightey whiteys.


    Yeah, I admit it.... he kinda did something for me.

  • e jerry powell

    What, no Andrew Christian ads? No Aussiebum?

    Straight men have it easy in comparison to all the designer underwear ads directed at gay men (frequently starring gay porn stars during their down time).

  • The Mama

    A. I'll take guy with glasses any day of the week.
    B. I'll take the bald guy any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
    C. I'm very bendy. Well, I used to be. But I could be again, especially for them. Ahem.

  • dinosaurpuke

    That bald guy is making me all woozy. Damn he fine.

  • I have NEVER found an underwear ad attractive. Not ever. The men look ridiculous and painfully fake.

    That one guy next to the Calvin Klein ad, though? HOLY BALD BEAR, BATMAN.

  • Jae

    Yeah... I'll be the asshole who totally absolutely no doubt prefers the eye-candy guys.

    Yes, guys around me aren't like that.Actually, most of the guys around me are much worse than the 'regulars' here - I live in Russia and all the bad stuff you may have heard about men here is absolutely true.
    So, nope, they aren't.

    But here is the thing: I'm no Adriana Lima, no Megan Fox, No Scarlett Johansson.

    Yet I'm expected to be. A side-by-side pictures like these with men are humorous, as they are made to laugh at the lack of reality here.
    Now imagine same thing only with women. Will it read the same? Or maybe as something motivational or even shaming, in a 'this is how a desirable woman can and should look like'? Everithing tells me that the lingerie model is the aspirational norm. Yeah, guys do have some pressure put on them but to compare it to the one women get just go and look at Hollywood actors and actresses.

    What I'm trying to say is: the hyperpolished and borderline grotesque extreme embodiments of conventional beauty might be unrealistic caricatures. But I'm really glad that now, more and more I can be the one consuming that fantasy, ehjoying it, and not just be under its constant attack. And mocking of this (twisted, but still) blooming objectifying equality, while the pressure is still here feels... not good. Yep, guys, you're not like them.Let me tell you what I've been told my whole life: this is bad and you should feel bad. Now stop eating and go do some pushups.

  • Wigamer

    Move along...nothing to see here...

  • Wigamer

    David Beckham actually looks better clothed. He was born to wear a well-tailored suit.

  • Maguita NYC

    No he doesn't.

  • Wigamer

    You present compelling evidence. Perhaps I need to see more in order to be fully convinced.

  • Maguita NYC

    Temporary Fantasy Breaktime.

  • Wigamer

    *smokes cigarette*

  • e jerry powell

    Yes, he does.

  • Wigamer

    For you: David Beckham, in a suit, with his baby girl. Hotness with sweetness beat underwear pics every time.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    You mean real men have, like, body hair and stuff? Crazy.

  • Living in Los Angeles for the past 12 years and considering the circles I run in, I'm (almost) ashamed to say I wouldn't give any of the "normal" guys a second glance and would fully expect reciprocated chemistry with the models. Interesting, fit, smokin' hot guys are a dime a dozen here, what can I say? Sorry.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Bald guy with a beard is a fierce poser. Seriously, I'm a bit smitten with him.
    Also, most of these guys seem like they've got a great sense of humor mocking themselves and these ads. That's sexier than oiled abs any day to me.

  • Octarin

    Hey, bald dude? I'm single ;) Ditch the stupid oiled bloke to the right, and let's get a cuppa some day... ;)

  • hippyherb

    Are you English or Australian?

  • Octarin

    And naturally there's no other nationality in the world besides those + murican right?

  • hippyherb

    I am Australian and It was your use of the word 'cuppa' that made me wonder. I have only heard Aussies and the English use that word.

  • Octarin

    I caught it when I lived in Yorkshire. But I'm not English.

  • Sars


    Overly attractive/ perfect men, are never sexually attractive/ disrable to me. I can acknowledge that they are pretty but they are not HOT*. I don't know how to explain that, I like a man with a little weight on him- it means he loves to eat and won't judg me if I do as well.

  • go_nelly

    i like the real guys better.

  • Brittney

    To me this is too many muscles. I prefer the other guys on the left.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Isn't it nice to have a conversation about bodies that doesn't descend into a "what is fat?" melee? I'm just going to bask and pray that a comparable article featuring women is not in the offing because that never, ever goes well.

  • I wasn't thinking fat vs. not fat vs. levels of fat. I was thinking, "My those regular dudes all look rather manscaped." Maybe it's because we live in VT where men grow extra hair to survive the winter, but I don't know any adult males who don't have at least 5X the chest/back hair of the "ordinary" men pictured here.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    It's a sad damn truth. I could probably join a fucking gorilla troop if I didn't shave my head.

  • Slash

    They all look pretty doable to me. No real tubbies, though, so not terribly realistic, as others have noted.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Heterosexual male here. These ads are primarily for hip briefs or trunks. Some are cotton, but the designer are usually nylon or polyester micro-blend. Not boxers or boxer briefs. Ladies, unless your man is fit, these two styles are not particularly flattering unless you like the trifecta of plummer's crack, beer gut and wedgie. Oh, and muffin top.

    These ads are actually doing men a service. Men, single men in particular, if you do not look look like these guys you are better off sticking to the beginner or intermediate slopes.

  • The trifecta just sounds like the undies are too small, to me.

  • Octarin

    I really wonder what the hell you're talking about...

  • L.O.V.E.

    I'm talking about sausage casings.

    What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?

  • Octarin

    Well, you sure ain't talking in English then

  • emmalita

    So which are the beginner and intermediate slopes?

  • L.O.V.E.

    Well, tighty-whiteys are out of bounds and should never be ridden, lets get that clear.

    Beginner is your basic cotton plaid boxers. Intermediate is boxer briefs which are a bit higher on the stomach and longer on the legs than trunks. This is the zone most men should be in.

    Trunks, which are usually low rise and stop right below the buttock are expert level. They are for athletes. Certain level of grooming is presumed. They also make the most sense for the skinny jean wearers as far as not bunching up in the jeans, but they look better with guys who have muscular buttocks/legs. That is why the big dude can pull them off well. OH, I forgot to mention that trunks are often ideal for shorter guys because they elongate the torso and the legs.

    Hip briefs like what Ronaldo is wearing are professional level only.

    I hope this helps all shoppers.

  • bastich

    Where do loincloths fall in your system?

    I'm...um...asking for a friend.

  • AvaLehra

    What about merkins?

  • emmalita

    AvaLehra, I've not yet seen you appear as a new member of Pajiba! Anything I can do to help?

  • AvaLehra

    I requested an add..I dunno. Do I hav e to do it again?

  • emmalita

    I'll ask around and see what's the what.

  • emmalita

    In this where we say, "Merica, fuck yeah!"?

  • emmalita

    I have an opinion on loincloths!

    Many years ago on a cold winter's day I was walking through Lafayette Park (in front of White House), when a portly man went running past me. He wore nothing but a loincloth and flip-flops. There were things flipping and flopping. Since this was pre-9/11, the cops were laughing too hard to really catch him. I had plenty of time to observe the poor performance of the loincloth in providing support and coverage. If your friend wants to go for a more primitive look, I'd suggest a gourd, such as those worn in New Guinea.

  • L.O.V.E.

    "I have an opinion on loinclothes!"

    Um, emmalita, I believe we already did the comment diversion on sentences never written before.

  • bastich

    Thanks for the advice! Gourds it is then!

    /tears off pants, runs to farmers market

  • emmalita

    Thanks. It actually does.

  • limo765

    This just in, not all men are professional athletes.

  • Kate at June

    I'm working on a short film project and I was discussing the roles that still needed filled with the casting director. When he learned that my husband has acting experience, he went

    "ooh! Is he, by chance, super ripped?"
    Uh... No? He's in shape, but dude I literally know no man in real life who could be called "super ripped."

  • Michelle

    I know two, maybe three. And they spend hours upon hours in the gym and worry about calories more than any woman I know.

  • NateMan

    HA... Add 10 more lbs, more chest and stomach hair, and make the beard red, and baldy is me!

    Edit: Also, boxer briefs for the win. Support for the boys while not making a man look like he's struggling to fit into his pre-teen undies. A man deserves a little dignity even while only in his underwear.

  • kirbyjay

    I read that Bryan Cranston insisted that Walter White wear the tighties so he would look as uncool as possible.

  • DeaconG

    Less chest and stomach hair, a touch more ab definition and turn the beard into a goatee and he's me!

    God knows I've slung enough dumbbells and walked enough to get there (1 year of lifting this week). and I'm not nearly satisfied with myself! (Note to me: we must get beyond 25 pound dumbbells as soon as possible!)

  • RhymesWithSilver

    These guys actually look pretty good, IMO. This is like those Dove "Real Women" ads where all the women are pretty much gorgeous by any standard.

  • chanohack

    Yes. Imperfect equals not average.

  • Conor

    Shame on you all for objectifying these men, you harridans!

    For shame!

    Have we learned nothing about gender equality from Pajiba?!

    *resumes ogling the recent post of Lizzy Caplan in her small pants*

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    I shall avert my eyes.

    In a minute.

  • BigBlueKY

    Yeah I wouldn't say no to any of those guys.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    Bald dude is rocking it.

    And as for the unreasonable expectations side of these ads, they are himbos. All of them. Ugh.

  • Maguita NYC

    Judging by upper-thread reaction, most women would go for a real guy, and most women are looking for a real guy.

    What most women won't do, is confuse fantasy and reality. We love every-day reality, yet reserve the right to drool over temporary fantasy.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Politics aside, Bald guy with the CK boxer briefs is a total stud. As is Idris Elba. Why must I choose when I can enjoy both?

  • Maguita NYC

    Women CAN and should have it all damn it!
    The lust is strong in this one.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Wait. We can have both?

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I'm willing to try.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    I like the way you think.

  • Aaron Schulz

    how are these real guys?

  • Mama

    These look like guys I know.

  • emmalita

    I'm all in favor of ogling and drooling, and I'm happy to ogle both the photoshopped and the unphotoshopped. I know WE don't confuse fantasy with reality, but I don't think we can say that women are less susceptible to unrealistic expectations in male beauty. I had the joy of standing behind some younger women while they discussed how revolting it was to see overweight men and women dressed for hot weather. Because if you are so inconsiderate to be an average sized American you should either stay inside or completely cover your body. It was depressing.

  • IngridToday

    This is "how real men" look yet no one is over weight, has a large beer belly, or is balding.

  • Thor

    Normal, 20something men. Who aren't fat.

  • Kate at June

    A couple of those "not good body" guys look pretty damn good to me

  • Maguita NYC

    I quite agree! Especially the top cute one with the glasses!

  • MauraFoley

    Agreed, I would totally bang all of these dudes. Especially bald belly Calvin Klein guy.

  • Salad_Is_Murder

    I had to do a double take, that guy looks just like my husband if he shaved his head.

  • MauraFoley

    Yeah my fella has a big bushy beard, and is all-in-all a big guy (from Nebraska, made big like bull from lotsa corn) so I'm DIGGIN' Mr Baldy.

  • Michelle

    Especially him, I think!

  • Hollyg

    Hello there, nerdy glasses-wearing guy! Also, the bald one really knows how to strike a pose.

  • chanohack

    Bald-with-beard looks like he could be my hilarious friend who is a total hoot whom I have weirdly sexual feelings about.

  • oilybohunk7

    His saucy look over his shoulder is sort of calling to me.

  • madderrose74

    I know, right? Beardy-dude is pretty ripped and glasses guy is workin' that top pose.

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