Gwyneth Paltrow Hosts the World's Whitest Party
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Gwyneth Paltrow Hosts the World's Whitest Party

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | September 13, 2013 | Comments ()


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I am so awkwardly fascinated by this video. I must break it down. I must understand. For it is as though an alien landed upon this planet and threw a party made of fancy as learned from books and public television and fashion show audience pictures and said “now everyone look like you’re having fun!”

Gwyneth dancing.

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Cameron Diaz is completely losing her shit she is so excited to be there.

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Gwnyeth Paltrow is completely losing her shit that this kid (Apple?) in a lion mask did a somersault and so is the whole party and for that alone this child will never be able to experience failure normally.

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“I’m better than the poor!”

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The children are childrening to Gwyneth’s exact specifications.

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Croquet and other “lawn games.”

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Thin people.

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Purses.

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Bored fedora children.

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The rarest site this side of Bigfoot: Chris Martin actually attending something related to his wife.

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Paul McCartney doing a jaunty kick.

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And it all ends with an incredibly long tepid kiss betwixt Gwyneth and Stella McCartney. This video is what will play in my brain’s screensaver.





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