Get Yourselves Together, People; Charlize Theron Is Back on the Market!
Holy shit, y’all, Charlize finally came to her senses! After spending way too much time together during and following the Cannes film festival, Furiosa (probably) said, “Enough of this bullshit,” and broke off her engagement to Sean Penn. The not-terribly-official word comes via Us magazine, whose “multiple sources” gave them the scoop. (Personally, I’m willing to bet he never told Charlize what he did to Madonna, and after reading our post, she kicked that ass to the curb.)
I hope she was all, “You think I’mma marry you, mothereffer? Yeah, right.”
Now, let’s start planning our dating strategies. You tell me yours and I’ll…
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