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A Tale of Two Airheads: Sarah Palin vs Poppy Carlton from 'Almost Royal'

By Emily Chambers | Celebrities Are Better than You | July 9, 2014 | Comments ()


Poppy face.jpg

Here’s a thing that happen to me earlier. I wanted to do a post about Almost Royal which is hysterical, and I highly recommend everyone watch. But the angle I was trying to work disappeared, and I had to abandon it. Then our fearless overlord sent me a link to Sarah Palin’s new article, and suggested I write a reaction piece to it.

Only I didn’t really want to do that either. Because there’s no reaction to Sarah Palin. It’s just dumbfounded rage. I could watch her terrible, terrible interview with Sean Hannity, and point out that conflating the immigration debate with a gun fight is at best irresponsible, and, given that her most recent article compares the president to an abusive husband, at worst inflammatory.

Or I could point out that despite her repeated claims, lying to the American people is not, in fact, an impeachable offense. And if it were, I could

*cough*Iran Contra*cough*.

Excuse me, I meant

*cough*Second Iraq War*cough*.

Whew, I’m so sorry I meant, every single effing president has lied to the American people, and Palin might want to check her buddies before pointing fingers.

Or I could point out that the only time Palin uses quotation marks in her article is as scare quotes, that the only irrefutable fact in her entire piece is that “Without borders, there are no nations”, and that she’s perfected the art of vomitting word soup in the exact proportions to alarm and enrage her ill informed fans.

But then I remembered the advice of Pajiba 10 hopeful John Oliver, and chose instead to ignore her. If you still feel the need to watch a dim witted, attractive brunette who has traveled a great distance to take America by storm, might I recommend Poppy Carlton in Almost Royal. Or you can read a book. Or have sex. Or sit in the dark quietly humming to yourself. For the love of god, just don’t pay attention to Sarah Palin.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • F'mal DeHyde

    I try to avoid anything Palin (Sarah Palin, that is) but I clicked on the youtube link and lasted for about 15 seconds before fleeing in horror which was enough time to note that she's not looking like herself anymore. Granted, we all age but her face looks strange. Very strong, masculine jaw. Was it always like that?

  • lowercase_ryan

    wait, sex is an option?

  • Uriah_Creep

    Of course. Even if you're alone, you always have a partner available.

  • Finance_Nerd

    I'm so f-ing tired of the hyperbolic rhetoric from both political parties. The idiotic crap that Palin's spewing doesn't bother me as much as what the actual politicians are (or aren't doing) b/c politicians aren't listening to her or us. Don't know if you guys are aware, but the House "Ethics" committee quietly decided before the 4th of July that they no longer have to disclose trips paid for by lobbyists (http://www.nationaljournal.com.... Over $3B is spent annually on lobbying congress and now they're actively trying to hide how much of this is benefiting them?! Do you want to know who politicians listen to? SuperPAC contributors and lobbyists.

  • MotoJ

    Thank you!
    It's easier to feign outrage about puppets like Palin than react to the genuine shenanigans of the cretins actually calling the shots.

  • emmalita

    I am bouncing up and down and cackling with glee! I am also snort laughing in an ugly way and considering applying to your harem.

  • cox

    cheater.

  • emmalita

    I would never cheat on you without your express permission.

  • Coolg82

    No, without borders, there is no state. There are plenty of nations without states. One of the United States' vitriolic best buds, the Kurds, have been a nation without real borders for decades. Hell, if you count governments in exile, then even states can be without borders.

  • John W

    Is it me or does the make up she wears on that show make her look orange?

  • JayWantsACat

    Its not just you. I think its more subdued in the recent episode but she definitely has a Simpsons hue going on.

  • John W

    Whew. I thought my TV was going on the fritz.

  • Play chess...screw...

    Well, let's play chess

  • VonnegutSlut

    Blazing Saddles always gets the upvotes.

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