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One day I caved and borrowed Twilight from a Twi-tard friend of mine. She was so excited, and was sooooo sure that I'd come back begging for the rest of the series.
All she got out of me was a big "meh".
While I can see the appeal (especially from kids, tweens, teens, and housewives) it's just not enough. The first book was somewhat interesting, but not enough to grab me and get me to read any more. This review of the next 3 just solidifies that decision.
The best part of Twilight was when James was beating the hell out of Bella toward the end...not just because I'm a sadistic bitch, but because it's the only time anything actually HAPPENED. The rest of the book is a series of sideways glances, moping, and gross misinterpretations. Sounds like the rest of these is nothing more than a big boring build up to a whole lot of nothing.
When I was a kid I would have eaten this UP. Thank God I'm old enough to know better.

A 40ish female co-worker excitedly gave me a daily report of how many pages she read of these books (200 pages in one weekend!), as if I were the keeper of some sort of reading prize.

And then she had a orgasm in my cubicle telling me about Jacob.

Will reading the books give me insight into WTF that was about?

You're not even going to say anything about the birthing scene in Breaking Dawn? That was honestly the most ridiculous and unnecessarily gruesome scenes I have ever read in my life.

Chewing through her uterus? Really? That's the best you could do Meyer?

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I kinda love the Google ads today. It's all 'Twilight Quiz!' 'Twilight Beauty Products!''More Twilight Quizzes!' 'Bryan Adams 2010 shows!'

So I read the Twilight books because my teenage niece was reading the books and I thought she would benefit from having someone talk to her about them. We ended up not talking about them but we started to read other teen vampire series, like the House of Night and Vampire Academy Novels. Those series we talk about, and mainly how kick-ass the protagonists are.

Down side though is she still likes the Twilight books so we HAVE to see the movies. ARG!

Now if I could get her to read something other than teen vampire books...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Harry should have left Edward in the fucking maze.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, are the rest of them any good to read in terms of comedic value? I barely made it through the first one alive, and I'm afraid (but at the same time intrigued) to finish the series. Is it worth it for me to see how deep the Rabbit Hole of shit goes?

Maybe I grew up watching too many telenovelas (in South America, it's either that, beauty pageants or soccer) but the books didn't really offend me. They are silly, melodramatic, and they have a happy ending. THEY ARE FOR TEENAGERS. "We" aren't the target audience.
Then again, I remember watching a novela where a rape victim eventually falls in love and marries her rapist, so I might be culturally damaged.

I just started reading Twilight, because I hate myself. I'm on Chapter 3, and while I'm surprised that the writing isn't quite as bad as I expected it to be (it's not Dan Brown or James Patterson bad) the thing just reads like my 9th grade journal. "Waah the teacher called on me and he was MEAN! Waaah Edward is a bitch to me but I THINK HE IS GORGEOUS AND GORGEOUS AND GORGEOUS OMG"

All that's missing is the little hearts and smiley faces because DAMN, that book is stupid. Hard to believe a grown-ass woman wrote it.

Anyway, I've been thinking of doing chapter recaps on my blog because why the hell not. Even if everyone's done it already, I just wanna join in.

can i just say this? i hope none of you actually die but i hope you who hate this series experience a near death out of body experience and nearly lose everybody you care about and then survive and find them all safe and sound so that way you will enjoy and appreciate this series as much as i do. i did not enjoy harry potter because their constant preaching that immortality is a curse.

Heehee Utah Dynamo is fun.

"Is the Dark Lover book that is recommended at the end of the review book one of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series?"

@az - Yes it is , best vampire smut out there!

I'm not sure I'd want to be immortal. Ever read the part of Gulliver's Travel about the Struldbrugs?

Breaking Dawn's just plain gross. i can't believe Meyer wrote crap like that. for one thing, she's completely ruined Edward & Bella's sweet love. lust & sex & babies- they're just teens too- so not cool. its not what i thought she's created at all. she's practically butchered the whole story.

the plot has so many flaws & so does Meyer's logic. why did she bother writing Twilight at all if this was what she was driving at?? it started out as something great- a whole new world (a world she never utilized though as J.K.Rowling for instance would've done)& the extraordinary, highly complex character of Edward Cullen. but finally it ended up with teen pregnancies, gore & utter meaninglessness.

she could've done so much better. maybe she could've widened the scope of the saga by bringing out a theme of good and evil with Carlisle & the other Cullens actively striving to show other vampires that there's another way- a humane way to live which eventually leads to war with the Volturri. & she could've made it so that Bella stumbles upon this world & that her bond with Edward epitomizes Carlisle's idealistic belief in co-existence. i think something like this would've made Breaking Dawn a great book. & the unrealistic 'happily ever after' is plain stupid. for one thing, its not living, but existing.isn't that what all the Cullens think about their lives? Edward himself keeps saying that its something like eternal torment. so why couldn't Meyer have done something about that?? since its fantasy, she could've for instance made it so that they defeat the Volturri in open battle with casualties on both sides & find a hidden stock of an elixir or something in underground vaults of Volterra brewed by an ancient alchemist which does the opposite of what the elixir of life does.

just how could the deep, unique,almost spiritual love of Edward & Bella end up in ugly craving for carnal pleasure & all that filth?? if Meyer really wanted to insert a child in the story, she could've done it with a difference- like in X-Files or in Dan Brown's 'Angels & Demons' (Pope)- keeping it clean & yeah,waiting till Bella & Edward have finished college.

Breaking Dawn is a huge failure & its one of the worst books i've ever read.

Maybe there are other people in here just like me who thinks the same about this issue, because for me it isn't a big issue.

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If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

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