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You Had Me at “Hallelu”: On Sequins and Sexuality

By Adrienne Saia Isaac | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (20)

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I discovered season two of RuPaul’s “Drag Race” while convalescing on the couch during a New Year’s bout of food poisoning. Thirteen episodes later and seven pounds lighter (best diet ever!), I had developed a new obsession: Raven .

OK, his name is David Petruschin, but most people know him as the season two runner-up and a totally fierce West Hollywood drag queen. I wouldn’t call my infatuation with him/her a bad thing, but I’m not sure it’s healthy for a (98 percent) straight girl to lust after an (entirely) gay man in heels.

Is it?

I spent three insomnia-riddled nights watching clips of Raven (and those of my other favorites like Pandora Boxx) from the show, marveling at her beauty and versatility. The transformation these men go through is absolutely amazing. They go from beards and balls to perfectly contoured foundation and the fiercest tuck games in town. But when out of drag, these performers are all so clearly men (with the exception of Sonique, who revealed on the reunion show that she was transitioning from male to female). If I had been attracted to them in their natural state, it would make sense to me. However, watching them as women was what revved up my proverbial engine. Where was this all coming from?

To some extent, I think the infatuation comes from projection: Raven is everything I wish I could be on a daily basis. She’s tall, tattooed, has the mouth of a sailor (as she explained on an episode of “Drag U”: “You are what you eat.”), and she carries herself with an extraordinary amount of confidence. I’m already tall, tattooed and curse entirely too much, but I’m not in five-inch heels and fake lashes, feeling awesome with my bad self on the daily. These men seem to find power in femininity (albeit, a contrived femininity) and I think that this is something women should do more. We’re taught that femininity is weak, and that we should “man up,” throw on a pantsuit and take life like a champ. But why should we conform to any social standard of gender other than the one that best expresses who we are? If dressing ultra-femme works to create a sense of power (sexual or otherwise) for these men, why doesn’t it work for more women?

The support of the gay community is also something I admire. There’s a feeling of acceptance and camaraderie in the work room, despite the bitchiness that inevitably comes with competition. It’s refreshing to see a relatively fringe element of popular culture receiving it’s time in the spotlight. To me, this is all normal; I grew up around people of all orientations, and my best friend’s brother was a Miss Gay Pennsylvania. I was fascinated by androgyny from a young age: Annie Lennox, David Bowie (please, was anyone else turned on by his Jareth? Fierce!), Julie Andrews (Victor/Victoria … don’t hate). Maybe because this isn’t new to me, I’m more open to the feelings aroused by these queens. Maybe it’s because I’m tall and athletic, my mom never wore makeup and my dad taught me to spit and desperately wished I was a boy. Or maybe I’m just naturally attracted to men dressed as women and as a result will be alone with my pit bull forever.

Meanwhile, me and my confused little heart pine for Mondays and the new batch of queens who are teaching me the power of femininity (and of duct tape and a good pair of pantyhose). This season, I’m cheering for Raja , who is Raven-esque and her friend in real life, and Manila Luzon, whose costuming is spot on. And maybe while it’s just a phase, I’m hanging on to hopes that someday David eschews his god-given orientation and fall in love with me. Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore, bitch please!”

New episodes of RuPaul’s “Drag Race” season three premiere Monday nights at 10/9c on Logo.

Adrienne Saia is a journalist and Philly expat living in Colorado with two pair of skis, seven Phillies hats and her pit bull, Juno. Her main goal (besides finding gainful employment) is to drink whiskey out of Lord Stanley’s cup with Chris Pronger. You can read her rants and rambling at Ex-Pat’s and Geno’s.









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Comments

I think what love most about these guys is that when they're in queen mode they can be so bitchy and nasty to each other but there's a lot of love and support there. And only infrequently do they take any criticism of each other personally. I know there are cat fights but most of them seem staged for the camera to me. Anyway, bottom line is that they are so much nicer to each other than most straight women would be to each other in similar circumstances.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 8, 2011 3:39 PM

I LOVE Raven. I love her/him as a man, I love her/him as a woman. Raven is awesome.

Posted by: Sarah at February 8, 2011 3:59 PM

I think the fact that Drag Queens reveal that we have a "choice" and that the choice can and often should be made is why they are so despised in culture, but why they are so appealing to a great many of us. In life we are told that we can only be either/or and that an interest in being both/and should be despised, but why not be both/all?

Thanks for writing about your feelings, and I support your attraction! Hopefully you find a nice lady boy who is looking for a nice lady!

Posted by: Anti-Intellect at February 8, 2011 4:07 PM

Are drag queens really despised in culture? I tend to think they are more accepted in general terms than your garden variety drag gay men. Think of Danny LaRue, Lily Savage, RuPaul and even Dame Edna if you want to be that inclusive in your definitions. They've all became pretty well-known entertainers for mainstream audiences whereas other gay entertainers who were comtemporaries (think Quentin Crisp for LaRue) were confined to primarily gay or "bohemian" audiences. I think there's an element of drag queen = something entertaining and fun versus gay men being alien to mainstream culture.
By way of example: my mother when she was in her sixties thought Lily Savage was hilarious but wouldn't have had anything to do with him as Paul O'Grady (she's become more open in her 70s).

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 8, 2011 4:28 PM

that should have read "garden variety non-drag gay man"

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 8, 2011 4:28 PM

I just discovered this show too and am also on Team Raja. Not only is she fierce as hell, but friends with Raven AND friends/the makeup artist of the androgilicious Adam Lambert... Her legs are to die for. Sometimes I can't tell if I am confusing wild admiration with attraction, but whatever it is, their confidence and grace in tall ass hooker heels is mesmerizing.

Posted by: SuiteT at February 8, 2011 4:54 PM

I'd think they're more accepted, if only because there's still a chance they're NOT gay; they could just like dressing in women's clothes.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 8, 2011 4:55 PM

Also, Eddie Izzard.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 8, 2011 4:57 PM

Also, this show makes me sad I don't have Logo.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 8, 2011 4:58 PM

You are so not alone. I have it written very prominently under my Facebook "About Me" section that I'm attracted to drag queens. Season 1, I was so sure that Shanel would win it all (she wuz ROBBED during the voguing mini-challenge!), and last season, I was so sure that Raven would take it all home, that fierce bitch. I'm rooting for Raja this season. Not only is she polished, experienced, beautiful and creative, she doesn't feel the need to pick at and bitch about the other contestants to make herself look better. But of course, looking at my track record, she's gonna make it to the top 3 and then someone slightly less talented than her will win.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at February 8, 2011 5:05 PM

Which Miss Gay Pennsylvania? I assume you mean MGP America, because I think I know all the MGP USofA for the last thirteen years...

Posted by: Jerry at February 8, 2011 5:15 PM

ALSO!!!

I was at Pride in West Hollywood last summer, and I literally bumped into Tyra Sanchez and Jessica Wild in their man-state. I screamed and hugged them both, and immediately updated my Facebook status accordingly.

BOO-YOW MUTHAFUCKAAAAA!!!

Posted by: Rest In Peace at February 8, 2011 5:17 PM

Oh, and you mean to tell me that none of you ever saw Raja before now? Seriously. America's Next Top Model. Sutan. Makeup artist for the photo shoots. Did Tyra Banks drag in a cycle six episode, telling the girls they were off to Thailand (Tie-land, get it?).

Posted by: Jerry at February 8, 2011 5:19 PM

I was Team Mimi Imfurst. At least the crazy girl put on a damn show. Once I realized she was going for Manger Couture in the Christmas Challenge, I was a fan. Too bad she had to go and get physical with India otherwise she'd still be on the show. I'm convinced she was disqualified for assaulting another contestant (unlike last season when Tyra hurt people when they were instructed to fight). That's Reality TV 101: Keep your hands off the competition unless otherwise instructed.

Now I'm team Delta Work for the death glare she gave when Ru annouced the challenge.

Posted by: Robert at February 8, 2011 6:26 PM

@PaddyDog: Hiya, Paddy. Missed you.

@Rest In Peace: I love you, let's be besties.

@Jerry: Kitty Mame Dietrich.

So much love for Raja and Raven!! Additionally, for all the Raven fans, here's a link to her working her shit on ANTM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd98ExL-Qbg

Posted by: Adrienne Saia at February 8, 2011 7:47 PM

I've watched Raven, I've Googled Raven, I've Youtubed Raven and Raja girl, you are no Raven.

Posted by: brdkelli at February 9, 2011 3:08 AM

I'm so glad I'm not alone in my "Drag Race" love! I've interviewed a lot of the queens and they are just awesome. I ADORE Raven (saw him, Morgan McMichaels and Delta Work a few weeks ago in LA - I'm still reeling from the fabulousness), Shannel and Pandora Boxx. I love the show so much (and I really love "Untucked", which comes on after "Drag Race". It really gives a lot of insight as to who these guys really are.)

Thank you, RuPaul, for reminding me of the importance of looking fierce every day!

Posted by: SugarSmak at February 9, 2011 9:26 AM

My favorite show! I love the campiness and outrageousness of it all, and the message underneath that anyone can be the powerful, sexy, beautiful woman they want to be is truly inspiring.

Posted by: futuredirect at February 9, 2011 11:16 AM

@Anna von Beav: It runs again on VH1, Tuesday nights!

Posted by: M at February 9, 2011 4:18 PM

Regarding the question posed by Adrienne Saia Issac, "if dressing ultra femme works to create a sense of power for men why doesn't it work for more women?" I'd like to give my reason for why it doesn't work for me: being the object of someone else's sexual desire doesn't give me power, it makes me a target. Actual power gives one power, sometimes that comes in the form of a job title, or the amount of money one has to sling around, but power doesn't come from conforming to restrictive, clown-like gender norms and shaking your ass in a set of 'fierce' heels.

I realize the tone of this post and discussion thread is more about light hearted reality competitions than it is about feminism, but drag queens and transgendered men will always perplex me. Why would anyone born male want to subject himself to the modern (or even the archaic: corsets, foot-binding, peticoats, etc.)gender-norming tortures that women are expected to endure when he can get away with not doing any of it? I don't reserve that question for the cosmetics of it either. Why would anyone want their sexual attractiveness to someone else define their lives and their worth? Isn't that what the ultra-femme getups are for? Making sure you pander to someone else's lust? And what is your worth when you age out of it? Men can get a sense of satisfaction by pride in their accomplishments, and are respected on that level regardless of their age. Women have to reproduce and be a 'good mom' to get something that does't quite make it to that same level of respect. We are just expected to do that anyway.

Anyway. I don't care if people want to dress up like women or bananas or whatever to get their jollies, more power to them. I just wanted to ask those questions.

Posted by: Viking at February 9, 2011 4:59 PM