Crazy Ranking "True Blood": 'What Is It About Me That You Want?' Edition

By Sarah Carlson | TV Reviews | July 8, 2013 | Comments ()


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For “True Blood’s” Sixth Season, each week we’ll review and rank the various raisin-cake plot developments of this bloody, campy drama. This post could get a bit NSFW, so be warned. Comments also won’t be strictly policed because the series is so far off the source novels, spoilers are practically a moot point.

“True Blood’s” writers aren’t wasting any time this season. Four episodes in with “At Last,” we’ve already met Warlow, or more accurately, learned that we already knew him. I appreciate that this wasn’t drawn out, and now the characters can get down to how to handle him. (And thank goodness Niall wasn’t killed off, just sent to a realm of darkness.) So far, Season Six has had a nice pace to it with just enough parts moving to keep things entertaining. The role of one’s maker was heavily at play in “At Last,” with Eric creating his own progeny, Nora revealing that Warlow comes from Lilith and Jessica recalling her own transition as she tried to protect the four rapidly aging fairies from a similar (or worse) fate. Sam wants to be on his own in his journey to save Emma — he sends get-away driver Lafayette away but continues to protect Nicole. After he shifted into a horse and galloped her to safety, the two attractive and traumatized adults quickly turned to each other for comfort. Alcide and his pack (the most tiresome of plots) are in hot pursuit, and already Alcide is facing resistance from his fellow wolves when it comes to following orders. Alcide certainly is the least interesting character — he is all bite and no nuance. Likewise, rehashing Patrick’s death from last season is a venture no one wants to take. Perhaps Terry and Arlene will join Andy’s fight to avenge the death of his daughters; otherwise, I can’t see much of an arc left for their characters.

On to the ranking:

5. I’m glad Niall teased his hair all special to go Warlow hunting.

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4. All of you who guessed that Ben is Warlow were right. This ancient fairy-vampire hybrid (not to be confused with the werewolf-vampire hybrids on “Vampire Diaries”) puts on a nice disguise — and seriously, how does Niall, King of Fairies, not detect him? — but the jig is up.

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3. Oh, results of vampire blood in humans. How I’ve missed you.

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This scene could have gone on longer, writers. Work with us here.

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2.5. That was fast.

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2. No way is Pam going to be pleased that Eric has turned Willa — only the second human he has turned in his 1,000-year existence. He did it to make a point with the governor, and although he says he didn’t make the decision lightly, Willa is definitely getting the raw end of the deal (with thanks to Sarah Newlin). Again, I love the overt “Dracula”-y imagery of this. It’s silly and it works.

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Why yes, he did stab himself with a golden cross.

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1.5. Do not leave young vampires in charge of young fairies, Bill. We all knew this wouldn’t end well. Your quest to synthesize their blood probably won’t work, either.

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1. Sookie for the win! She’s tired of being lied to by supernatural men, and she’s not gonna take it anymore. “What is it about me that you want,” she asked Ben/Warlow. She wants an answer — deserves an answer — and it’s good to see her fighting for one.

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Supernatural Roundup
Nora, Willa and Pam (and Ginger, for funsies) were all captured and sent to the concentration camp the governor has running to experiment on supernaturals. Billith got the location right in his premonition, but will they (along with Eric, Tara and Jessica) meet the sun while at camp?

Nice Callback
I appreciate the use of the same actor (Lorin McCraley) to play the Grabbit Quik clerk F.W. in this episode as in the series pilot.

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Lasting images

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Sarah Carlson is a TV Critic for Pajiba. She lives in San Antonio. You can find her on Twitter.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Dominic

    You haters HAVE to leave the wolves and Sam alone .
    For Sam , have you conveniently forgotten that less than two days ago , Luna died in his arms ? The character is responding JUST as he should , and as most of us prob would , in his exact situation .

    The wolves are this season's Authority , striking with violence and only screwing themselves the worst ...

    Now , you guys may not LIKE their intersecting storyline . But it is consistent with the " Supes are here ! " fallout .. Did you see next week's promos ? This all was to create the struggle for control of the Pack coming , between Alcide and Dad . As was noted after Epi 1 , maybe that V Dad gave him was stronger than Alcide knew . And he still has a resentful Pack , which needs a firmer hand . Was he set up to fail ?? And will this drive Sam into being that PR " face of the Supes " that Nicole wants ??

  • foolsage

    Sam's fine; he's always struggled to do the right thing and be a good person in the face of overwhelming adversity. He remains a sympathetic and multidimensional character.

    The wolves? This season, they've yet to display anything except selfish possessiveness and feral anger. Alcide was a lot like Sam in previous seasons; he was a loner who tried to be a good guy and avoid trouble, but trouble kept finding him. He was a loyal friend and was generally dependable. Now? He's just a mindless thug, lashing out at anything he perceives as a threat, like his predecessor. He doesn't even treat his own pack with respect, much less anyone else. Meet the new boss; same as the old boss.

    If there's some long story arc here intended to show how power corrupts, fair enough. Unless there's a redemption arc in there for Alcide though, I'll remain disappointed.

  • Dominic

    You've agreed with both my points .
    "they've yet to display anything except selfish possessiveness and feral anger " , because that's all they are SUPPOSED to show. And this arc is evolving very slowly ( I think they know the negative feedback on the wolves and only give them a scene or two to keep the haters happy ) This Sunday I think business picks up ; Alcide may ask Jackson exactly WHAT was in that V he gave him . ....
    Yes the wolves are this season's Authority . Power corrupts , and weeds out the weak ....

  • foolsage

    I don't agree that's all they're supposed to show. It's certainly not all Alcide displayed for the first several seasons he was on the show.

  • Dominic

    Best lines :

    " MotherFUCKER "

    ' I'm pretty much a virgin ,and all "

    I will seed in you a Milenium of wisdom "

    'That Ben , is a handsome fellow ..."

    ' I want that FUCKER myself ! "

    " I never knew what she meant by that until tonight .."

    ' You smell like honey ...""

    " Tha was my best Dirty Harry ..."

    i guess they are going to explain next episode what the hell was in that bottle Sookie used on Warlo's food ?

    Anna in golden pouty-underwire lingerie ! MMMMMM ... forget the gay scene I want more of THAT ...

    THIS is what Sarah meant by "I'm in politics now ..." ??
    You barely see Amelia pop her fangs on Daddy - gonna have to still-frame it ..
    So we see Warlo has honor and some sense of right and wrong , even as he admits he's as sick as a Mother-Father killer can be . I think they are writing it like this : yes I OWN you by contract . But I want you willingly , as My Faerie Bride . And we can rule both vamp and fae kingdoms together ( which is why he didn't let Jason keep suffering from concussion effects , or kill him and Niall . Sookie would always resent that ...) "And , I'll kill Bill for you ....."

    " At Last " PERFECT song for this episode . I love how they take a theme and find a song to match . Or do they have a song and write the story second ??? ... The Killing and Falling Skies had big reveals this week . Early , also kinda strange ...It portends even bigger shocks to come ...

    Yes this is definitely Anna's show this season . Twin Daddy only gets Season 5 ....

  • Marc Greene

    Wasn't the bottle Sookie used just a silver solution?

  • foolsage

    The bottle was labeled "Colloidal Silver".

  • Zen

    "I'm glad Niall teased his hair all special to go Warlow hunting."

    For a moment there, I thought you were comparing Ryan Kwanten to that kid from One Direction. But then I remembered the books, and realised that he was the King of the Fairies.

    Then I laughed.

  • Dominic

    Rutger and Ryan will be cherished for the slapstick they've done in these episodes ....

  • Jen

    I loved the whole Dracula/vampire bride thing going on with Eric Willa (I may have actually experienced *vapors*).

  • Kristine

    True Blood is good again. I knew they had it in them.

    Apart from the wolves, obviously. And Sam. Goddamned Sam. At least it gives Lafayette something to do. Also, I can't believe I like Sean Slater from Eastenders as Ben/Warlow/whatevs. What is the world coming to?

    Eric can make me a vampire any day, even if it means I have to go back and live with my parents. At least they wouldn't send me to a concentration camp. Probably. And also, Jason.

  • I think Eric is actually playing the long game. By sending Willa home, he's counting on her inability to control her hunger forcing the governor to send her to the camp. Because she's his progeny, he can track her. He could have done the same with Pam, but he released her last season, and he likely would not have put her at risk in the same way. Of course, she went and did that herself, because she just cannot stop bitching this season, and that apparently negates her super-human hearing/smell, so she did not perceive a fuckton of armed men approaching. Seriously, what happened to all their heightened senses, that these humans can suddenly sneak up on vamps?

    I cannot believe TB has managed to make werewolves boring. I mean honest to god, flat out boring. How the hell does that happen? On the other hand, I was wondering when Sam was going to turn all stallion for the great escape. Was in no way disappointed when it happened. Pretty horsey.

  • foolsage

    The wolves have lost all internal conflict and humanity; now they're just selfish and feral. Yay. I miss the old Alcide; this new Alcide is a jerk with no redeeming qualities.

  • Dominic

    plot device , plot device
    If you can never sneak up on them , how ya gonna get 'em to Camp ??
    Also ,part of the 'Story" of this show , is that vamps are a HELL of a lot more like humans than they care to admit . Top of the foodchain ?? Hardly ..so BOTH Tara and Pam were too emotional to look around better

  • ZizoAH

    I'm so happy that finally Sookie is potrayed as a strong character, and not just dumb. I was so pleased when she realized by herself who Warlow was, and handled it by herself.

    And I NEED to see a longer version of the dream, please. It's my only wish.

  • Maguita NYC

    That dream was so hot in a very naive Jason way it left me begging for more.

    And oddly, doesn't that Warlow guy have great chemistry with BOTH siblings? Sookie never acted sexier (and kissed better) than with Warlow.

    Of course, the best kiss on TB is still the one in the car between Jesus and LaFayette. Amen indeed.

  • dizzylucy

    I'm not sure how it happened, but I actually like Sookie this season. Once she stopped mooning over Bill and Eric and sort of took charge of her own life again, she became much more tolerable and interesting. Can't say the same for Alcide and the wolves - please all run away soon.
    I figured Ben was Warlow or was connected to him somehow, but it was still pretty well done. And I didn't expect Jessica to lose control like that.
    Definitely better pacing and streamlined stories this year.

  • Dominic

    THE EXACT reason why the writers had her blow off the vampire menage 'a trois . Now that she's matured some , Sookie can't be just a vampire plaything . As you have seen , she now has to assume the role of Queen of the Faeries . Whatever ones are left...
    Yes thank you for giving the writers props . Although , since we've seen that these story arcs have been planned for a long time now , they'd better be seamless ....

  • Marc Greene

    Is it wrong that I was happy Jessica killed the jailbait-fairy-kin? It was like the writers knew they were a pointlessly annoying plot contrivance and didn't even bother to name them. They might as well have been wearing red shirts too.

  • IngridToday

    It took me a long minute to remember who Patrick was and then immediately didn't care. The Middle-Eastern curse/war PTDS was ridiculous, at times offensive and ruined Terry as a perfectly nice stand up guy who had more grounded post-war issues that he was dealing with a normal way.

    I still don't get why Andy's daughter are aging incredibly fast. Sookie's dad was part royal fairy and he aged normally.

    I hope the were pack, turns into wolves, chase after Sam and get run over by a semi crossing the road. No survivors.

  • foolsage

    Sookie is 1/8 fairie, through her paternal great-grandfather Niall. She also comes from a different line of fairies than Maurella, the girls' mother. We don't know which, if either, of these factors is involved in the very rapid gestation and aging of the girls.

    The fairy "gene" skips some members of the family; Sookie's father was a normal human, as is Jason. We don't know if Sookie's grandfather aged as a normal human.

  • troublesometots

    With all the other suspension of disbelief issues on this show I can't defend why I'm hung up on THIS one but...

    If faeries gestate in oh, a week, give birth to 4+ at a time and they grow to a maturity within a week, there is no possible way they could be on the verge of extinction.

    They're like the tribbles of the supernatural realm.

  • Maguita NYC

    I've stated upthread that this reminds me very much of Ann Rice's Taltos.

    If I remember the Mayfair Witches books correctly, Taltos would stop, or rather tremendously slow down, the aging process once they hit young adulthood.

    Just a thought.

  • Dominic

    not Sookie's father . Her grandfather was hanging with the faeries when she 1st met them
    Why did they age fast ? so that they cam speak to Jess in the way they did , before she drained them .And the way they spoke to others Also Jess as a character would prob show more restraint at draining kids . But girls like HER when she was turned ? guess not .... it's just a plot device And a metaphor for teenagers going out , right into trouble ...

    they NEVER said his post-war issues were 'more grounded " . Just that he was more together than V-addicted Andy . BARELY more together . How was he dealing with it ? working in a dive restaurant and living at home with Ma . He wasn't dealing with it at all .. Give the writers credit for NOT making his story "routine PTSD " If there is such a thing ..

  • firedmyass

    Maybe gestating in a fairy (a phrase I woulda bet big money on that I'd never need to type) as opposed to a human super-ramps up the magic?

  • Candee

    I've been wondering that as well.

  • Fruity Fonzie

    this episode was so batshit insane. Tthe Warlow thing totally predictable since Ben appeared but still the moment he revealed his fangs was so awesome.

    and Jason... omg, i loved Jason so much in this episode: the homoerotic dream, his dialogue with Niall (You ever had a dream that... ain't so straight? LMAO)

  • Marc Greene

    I am glad to know I wasn't alone at predicting that Ben was Warlow. Despite my resistance to enjoy the show again, the idea of B'lillith and Warlow meeting is quite intriguing. I am likewise curious as to what Warlow's game actually is. It clearly isn't to just straight up kill Sookie, he's had plenty of opportunity to do that. Is it just to seduce her and/or turn her? The idea that he is as old as they are suggesting and is immune to sunlight and silver is mindboggling when apparently his only weakness is Sookie's Genki-Dama/Spirit Bomb.

  • Maguita NYC

    Maybe it is as simple as knowing that she is his "promised" one, and he wanted her to fall for him first.

    But then again, nothing is simple (or moderately logical) on TB anymore.

  • foolsage

    I think it's something to do with her bloodline. Maybe it's some long-term plot to rule all fairies by subverting the royal line. He did after all make a contract for the first female Stackhouse, which is to say the first female heir of Niall.

  • Oz

    My guess is he wants to impregnate Sookie with the vampire Antichrist that'll take down Lilith and usher in a new age of daywalking vampires to replace Lilith's species and subjugate the human race or something.

  • Maguita NYC

    First they steal from Buffy.
    Then they steal from Anne Rice's Lasher and Taltos?

  • Marc Greene

    That would be a very dark, yet cogent idea. We've seen how fast fey mature, but can vampires (even half-fey ones) breed?

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