Dear 'Batman vs Superman,' I'm F**king Done With You. Eat Me. Yours, A Huge Batman Fan
film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web culture / politics / dc / snl / netflix / marvel / cbr

Dear 'Batman vs Superman,' I'm F**king Done With You. Eat Me. Yours, A Huge Batman Fan

By Jodi Clager | Think Pieces | February 3, 2014 | Comments ()


First came the news that my beloved Batman would be pushed right back into a new movie franchise after the glorious Nolan trilogy. Then that changed to folding Batman into the sequel to Man of Steel, which is bullsh*t. Next thing you know, Ben Affleck is playing Batman, Gal Gadot is playing Wonder Woman, Jesse Eisenberg is Lex Luthor, and the same dickhole director that stripped Superman of his morals is still directing the whole goddamn thing.

Why don’t you just hire M. Night Shyamalan to script and direct Batman and further plunge the knife DIRECTLY INTO MY BATMAN-ADORING HEART, WARNER BROS. YOU BASTARDS.

Nolan got it. He understood Batman. He understood that you don’t turn Batman into a killer just to placate the blood-thirsty public or to try to shake up a character that’s been around since 1939. Zack Snyder, on the other hand, took the Boy Scout of the Justice League and had him straight up MURDER someone in his movie. Superman. The hero that can fly, is impervious to bullets, has heat vision, and can do just about any damned thing he wants to do knows what he is and what he can do. Yet he chooses to have the morals instilled in him by the Kents guide his choices. He chooses to defend those who cannot defend themselves. This is all stripped from him after 76 years of canon in the span of one snap of a neck.

I don’t even like Superman and this pissed me off. I absolutely cannot abide that for Batman. As someone who regrettably paid cash money to see Batman and Robin, I refuse to give money to Snyder and Batman vs. Superman until my fears have been proven to be unfounded. My optimism is basically non-existent at this point.

Marvel is bringing in new fans and introducing people to characters they’ve forgotten about or have never been familiar with before and they are making the box office their bitch while doing it. Marvel is expanding their film universe by carefully casting heroes, choosing directors, picking writers, plotting phases of film release, and building the excitement of a fully realized and faithful adaptation of their characters.

DC and WB are pissing into the wind and running their big screen cash cows into the ground in order to compete. The biggest difference is that DC and WB don’t appear to want to do the work, but they want to enjoy the same success as Marvel. Alienating long-time fans in order to push half-baked bullshit onto screens isn’t going to get you where you want to be, jerks. I’ll stick to your amazing animated features and eschew your live-action horsesh*t until you get your collective heads out of your asses.


A Girl's Guide to Talking About the Super Bowl Today at Work! | I'll Write You a Letter Tomorrow: Why We Can't Wait For Hannibal's Return

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not