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Unbelievable. You Make Someone a Bridesmaid and They Sh*t All Over You.

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (54)



molly-ringwald-sixteen_l.jpg

The teen comedy genre is a mixed bag, quality-wise. They can range from the brow-furrowingly stupid (ex. Gimme An ‘F’), to the goofy but watchable (One Crazy Summer), to the cartoonish (American Pie, Porky’s), to the timelessly good, even great (Can’t Hardly Wait, The Sure Thing). But in a Tolkienesque world of one teen comedy to rule them all, the clear winner is Sixteen Candles.

Infinitely quotable, beloved across gender, social and taste lines, and featuring one of the finest casts of characters ever assembled, Sixteen Candles is one of my top three favorite movies of all time. I love it like a person. Hell, I love it like a dog. People have let me down. But Samantha Baker is always there for me, and long before Lloyd Dobler ruined me for good, Jake Ryan laid the groundwork for no man to ever come close.

Also, the film’s Wiki page includes this chestnut: “Movie critic Karen Fang has argued that Long Duk Dong’s name may be a penis-related pun.” It’s possible that this is as funny as anything in the movie.

The plot is deceptively simple. Samantha wakes up on her sixteenth birthday. Due to this auspicious day falling the day before her sister’s wedding, her family forgets. Oh, and she’s hot for Jake Ryan (aren’t we all — sa-woon). That’s pretty much it. But it’s so much more. This is a movie completely made by characters and moments. And not merely the main characters. Every single character, even the minor ones only onscreen for a moment (“I wanna go home! I wanna be with you guys!” - - guy springs to mind) is clear within seconds. We see Joan Cusack’s headgear girl on the bus, boom, character. We spend two minutes in Ginny Baker’s bedroom, boom, character. Caroline’s drunk friends, Rudy the Oily Bohunk, the grandparents, Jake Ryan’s gym buddy who calls Caroline a “wo-MAN.” It is impossible to pick a favorite. Though, honestly, my favorite probably is Ginny Baker. “I mean, I’ve had men who’ve loved me before. But not for six months in a row.”

It might be overboard to say that each character is fully fleshed out instantly, but was anyone in high school? In high school, people were “Skirted Sweatshirt Girl” or “Geordi La Forge Glasses Guy.” We didn’t always require the people in our every day world to be full people. They were often exactly what we needed them to be, whatever that may have been.

One thing the great teen comedies have in common is weirdness. There is always a great deal of absurdity happening amidst the plot. And that’s just as real as anything else. High school is weird. There is something intrinsically odd about a large brick building full of hormones, confusion, change and a very large teen-to-adult ratio. Sixteen Candles, for as weird as it gets, never feels wrong. It never feels disingenuous. Whereas every other film in the genre takes reality just one step beyond, the truly bizarre moments (the boy’s bathroom sophomore-panties summit, Long Duk Dong in general) feel real.

And that was the genius of John Hughes. He knew high school was strange and sad and furious and ridiculous and mortifying and sometimes wonderful. He hit on every aspect that makes this particular point in our lives such a prevalent topic for writers, and he did it better than anyone. And he did it hilariously.

I love The Breakfast Club, but apples to apples, Sixteen Candles feels so much more real. High school was hard, but it was almost hysterically so. We’re never more over the top than that four year period during which we’re trying to figure out exactly who the hell we are. Sure, you cry about it. But, later, perhaps much much later, you laugh about it.

Follow Courtney Enlow on Twitter, and read her other stuff at HoboTrashcan.com.









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Comments

About a year ago I wrote a lengthy essay on the virtues of Ginny Baker. I love, love, love her.

A friend of mine was in a play with her and said she's coo coo for cocoa puffs.

Posted by: Josh at September 2, 2010 3:09 PM

I love this one over Breakfast Club, too. And I was very nearly exactly the Ally Sheedy character in high school. Ug.

I love it for two reasons: the absurdity that you mentioned (because high school WAS absurd from beginning to end) and because it it set in and filmed in the mid-80s. Molly Ringwald and her character were just a year or two older than I was at the time and so it's sort of one of those "my generation" things, though I hesitate to say that because it reminds me of that insufferable generation that came before me and still thinks they're the only generation that ever existed.

Where was I? Oh yeah, do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Y'know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I'm too torqued up to say no.

Anyone love a movie enough to make up the ending that happens after the ending? I did. THEY GET MARRIED AND HAVE THREE KIDS AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND SHE NEVER FORGETS ANY OF HER KIDS' BIRTHDAYS.

I had a lot of sugar, I'm sorry.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at September 2, 2010 3:09 PM

Josh! WHERE IS THIS ESSAY?

Posted by: Snuggiepants at September 2, 2010 3:10 PM

Brilliant, brilliant treatment of this truly perfect movie. I have always said I'd want to play Ginny Baker, should the movie be re-cast. "Samantha, you're really acting like...an asshole." GENIUS.

Posted by: samantha t at September 2, 2010 3:10 PM

Everyone knows Jake Ryan is now making handcrafted furniture in Pennsylvania. SOMEONE needs to find the company name and a photo of what he looks like now.

I'm curious to know if he embraces his "Jake Ryan"-ness like some other stars.

Cool side story: The boy who played Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (The Gene Wilder acid trip version), only did that one movie and then wanted to leave acting. He now works as a barnyard animal veterinarian in rural Maine where I went to college. Every year he chooses one elementary school in Maine and they play the film, and let the little kids ask him questions. He is the nicest, most down to earth person (and he delivers cows, how cool is that?)

Posted by: scorzi at September 2, 2010 3:22 PM

I didn't watch this til I was in my late teens, and even though I love it I wouldn't put it in my top films. I do prefer the Breakfast Club, though this has more laughs.

The dude in this doesn't do anything for me though, he's kinda boring, and even though I wanted it, I never truly felt like him turning up at the end would ever happen in a million years, even within the context of the film. He didn't even know her! Still, it's fun and sweet.

Posted by: Carrie at September 2, 2010 3:33 PM

Good analysis of a wonderful film.

"Jake, would I dick you? Let me put it to you this way, what happens to me if I dick you?"

Perfection!

Posted by: allheavens at September 2, 2010 3:33 PM

I think I'd almost rather not know about what Jake Ryan is like know or what he looks like. I would rather leave him preserved as a fantasy in my memory. Actually, the fact that he left the movies to carve furniture in rural Pennsylvania just adds to the dream.

Posted by: JR at September 2, 2010 3:36 PM

Cannot get past the racism and sexism. I cringe the whole time. Though I do prefer these characters to the whiny breakfast club kids.

Posted by: Cree83 at September 2, 2010 3:42 PM

Anthony Michael Hall underneath the glass coffee table: "Jake...JAKE!"

Posted by: samantha t at September 2, 2010 3:43 PM

You want a serious mindfuck? Blanche Baker, the woman who plays Ginny Baker, plays the horrifying sadistic psycho Aunt Ruth in The Girl Next Door. It's even more disturbing once you make the connection.

And while I personally disagree and find The Breakfast Club to be the better movie, I wouldn't want to get into a real argument about it. It's pretty damn close.

Bitchin' review. Now if you'll excuse me, the Donger need food!

Posted by: TK at September 2, 2010 4:32 PM

"Where is my Automobile?"
"Automobile?"

Posted by: chipwitch at September 2, 2010 4:43 PM

Love this movie, and it's nice to read this praise of it. My only problem with it is that, for a movie with such a deep well of characters, the main character doesn't work at all. She's a moping dullard who does nothing to deserve the audience's empathy, let alone to earn the fascination of Jake Ryan.

scorzi - love that story about the Charlie actor!

Posted by: Zawmer at September 2, 2010 5:06 PM

Oh look, Fred. She's gotten her boobies.

Pretty much the most quotable movie of the lot.

Posted by: MG at September 2, 2010 5:08 PM

One day I got bored and watched the featurette on our Willy Wonka dvd. Yea, quite impressed with Charlie's real life escapades.

I enjoy this film, but it's not one of my favorites. If it's on, I'll watch it.

Man I'm tired.

Posted by: grace b at September 2, 2010 5:15 PM

The stories don't always end up as cute as Jack Ryan cum furniture maker or the cow delivery dude.

The kid who played Alec Ramsey in The Black Stallion (NOT the porn version) went on to become a regular.... truck driver.
/sigh.

Posted by: Stella at September 2, 2010 5:22 PM

Let's be honest, Anthony Michael Hall is the best part of this movie. The best.

Posted by: kelsy at September 2, 2010 5:23 PM

Ah, I knew someone would pull out the racism card...

This movie is part of my childhood and never gets old. Still holds up, too.

"Oh sexy giiirlfriend..."

Posted by: tinmo at September 2, 2010 5:37 PM

Love love this movie! I want to run home and watch it now! I recorded the part where the Grandparents answer the phone when Jake calls and put it as my answering machine greeting.

Posted by: Alli at September 2, 2010 5:48 PM

I'm so happy to see this movie truly appreciated. I know that everyone here wets their pants over The Breakfast Club, but I don't think you can even compare.

Posted by: Finn at September 2, 2010 6:01 PM

While we're on the subject of the beauty that is Jake Ryan, I would love to see the movie Wild Hearts Can't be Broken reviewed. Featuring an even hotter post-Jake Ryan Schoeffling, a pre-Botoxed Gabrielle Anwar, Cliff Robinson (the Kahuna for crying out loud!)

Posted by: Finn at September 2, 2010 6:11 PM

This movie and the Sweet Valley Twins just about defined my adolescence. No other movie of that era has had the same impact. It never ceases to give me butterlies at the end to this day.

Posted by: Candy at September 2, 2010 6:22 PM

Some movies truly require a teenage crush to be fully appreciated later in life. I did not grow up in the US so I didn't get to watch it until I was in my 30's. I guess that's the reason why I find it so insignificant. Sorry.

Posted by: balenga at September 2, 2010 6:30 PM

"My only problem with it is that, for a movie with such a deep well of characters, the main character doesn't work at all. She's a moping dullard who does nothing to deserve the audience's empathy, let alone to earn the fascination of Jake Ryan."

Yeah, but that's pretty common when the sexes are reversed. Not to mention that he likes her because she's different. Will it last? Probably not, but I get why he's interested. She seems deep, even if she's not.

Posted by: samantha t at September 2, 2010 6:50 PM

Great review of a great movie Court. Still makes me laugh every time I see it. Everyone was hilarious but Anthony Michael Hall and the Donger were the best parts in my book. " I call FIB"

Posted by: Johnny 57 at September 2, 2010 7:01 PM

"Thanks for, ah, loanin' me the Donger."

Oh, my God. The lines from the movie are endless.

Posted by: samantha t at September 2, 2010 7:08 PM

Great review... this is my favorite of the 80s teen comedies as well. I think I shall have to watch this tonight.

Posted by: Even Stevens at September 2, 2010 7:36 PM

I also loved the episode in Community where Jeff tells Abed he is allowed to pick one movie scene to re-enact and he chooses the cake scene from this movie. Priceles..

Posted by: Even Stevens at September 2, 2010 7:38 PM

oops, priceless.

Posted by: Even Stevens at September 2, 2010 7:39 PM

Truth: This is the only John Hughes movie I like.

Yes, that includes Ferris Beuler's Day Off.

Hate me now.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at September 2, 2010 8:35 PM

Add me to the queue of people who have this high on the list of all time (and better than Breakfast Club - by a mile for me).

I still quote this movie heavily (which perplexes my 10 years younger Australian wife who knows nothing of the movie - when I forced her to see it she was all "meh", I was hurt so!, but I digress).

So a few weeks ago I post on Facebook (my annual single post a year) "Got married, so that happened" and one of my old HS friends posted "Married??", and we immediately got stuck in Jake / Long Duk Dong "Married" back and forth with me concluding "Married...Sheesh!"

Posted by: pattonbt at September 2, 2010 8:39 PM

It's interesting to see people so young get nostalgic about high school: 'What a long, strange fortnight ago that was.'

The racist and sexist stuff--I can't get past that. It totally takes me out of the experience, this isn't The Little Rascals for goodness' sake, how could they have not known better? Tacky with a capital ACK.

Can't Hardly Wait...oh, you people keep stumbling into my kryptonite plugs and I start shrieking like a barbary ape. Okay, I don't want to black out with Hildegaard von Bingen visions, so I'll just say that Jennifer Love Hewitt's current career is penance for her late '90s career. And I was instrumental in setting that up.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 2, 2010 8:47 PM

Who is playing a "racism card"? I love this movie, but I recognize that Long Duck Dong's portrayal is craaaaaaaaaaazy racist. You can like the movie and appreciate all its merits without denying that there's a legitimate reason people are offended by a racist caricature. It's racist, and it would be a better movie without it.

It's not irrational to be offended by racism. Isn't it better to appreciate the movie for what it is instead of pretending it's something it's not? It's a funny, quirky story about being a teenager that, because it's a product of its time, foolishly included a crazy racist stereotype. Is that such a painful thing to admit?
/soapbox.

Posted by: Tammy at September 2, 2010 9:00 PM

Asians are still fair game for racial stereotypes in film. The female Asian is a mysterious sexual creature drawn to the white male hero. The male Asian is either some chop-sockey fellow or Long Duk Dong. I guess it's still better than being Muslim, but how can anyone deny that Long Duk Dong is some seriously racist shit?

Cute movie otherwise, except for the date rape.

Posted by: Alfred Jones at September 2, 2010 9:32 PM

I almost had a heart attack when I read this review. I understand if it's written in the 1980s, before the dawn of multiculturalism, but in 2010? Crazy. Fortunately, the astute commenters have already pointed out how problematic this movie is. Racist against Asians and a date rape scene that's presented as a hilarious victory for the geek? Come on now.

Breakfast Club for the win. And while Pretty in Pink isn't one of Hughes's best, the scene of Duckie singing Otis Redding is so fabulous, I still have warm feelings toward John Cryer, despite his scene misdeeds since that movie.

Posted by: Ruth at September 2, 2010 9:43 PM

I do love this movie, in a nostalgic way, but I have to say that I have never really gotten the Jake Ryan love... he's bored with his girlfriend that actually puts out and then finds out that a younger girl, who is less sexually experienced, has a crush on him, so he is flattered and decides to pursue her? Then he basically "gives" his drunkenly unconscious girlfriend to some random freshman and encourages him to take advantage of her...?? It's icky. He's no Lloyd Dobler.

Posted by: Peachee at September 2, 2010 9:51 PM

Jo 'Momma', I'm 40, so I'm not really all THAT young, but thanks!

And I don't think Sixteen Candles was meant to be taken very seriously at ALL.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at September 2, 2010 9:52 PM

Peachee, Peachee, Peachee. His girlfriend is a flake. She's bossy and presumptuous and doesn't have a second thought about inviting everyone in the world to his parent's house and letting them TRASH it. She's shallow, concerned only with appearances. And she totally takes her relationship with Jake for granted. She even threatens him with other men during the dance.

As he says to his buddy in the weight room after he reminds Jake that Caroline is a "wo-MAN," he wants someone who knows how to love, not just how to party.

In other words, it's deeper than sex! That's why he went to her house and has a conversation with the weird guy who grabbed his nuts! That's why he went to GET HER at her sister's wedding even though he was totally confused thinking SHE was getting married! That's why he made her a damn huge awesome pink birthday cake with candles and risked life and limb sitting with her on a damn glass table and said "MAKE A WISH, SAMANTHA!"

Posted by: Snuggiepants at September 2, 2010 10:02 PM

Jake Ryan now owns his own furniture business (I think in Vermont?).

It's like coming back to visit your hometown and finding the star quarterback is a used car salesman.

Posted by: duckandcover at September 3, 2010 1:39 AM

I get the 80's nostalgia, and I can even view it in context to appreciate it from that angle, but on a personal scale I've gotta say I'm with the people who feel kind-of "meh" about this movie. It came before my time, and my high school experience was so vastly different, that it just doesn't ring true the same way for me as it no doubt does for many people.

Then again, I also recognize that teen movies ARE that weird genre that you think are mostly not-great/perpetuate stupid high school stereotypes that turn out to be not remotely true...and then you go ahead and re-watch "10 Things I Hate About You" for the fifteenth time and kill yourself laughing over the "extreme dating interviews" scene. Strange. O_o

In any case, wonderful and earnest review. ^^

Posted by: Daft Steampunk at September 3, 2010 2:55 AM

Snuggiepants snuggiepants snuggiepants. He does sound waaaaay better in your version and worthy of love... I confess that havent seen the movie recently and perhaps I remember the less-than-awesome bits too well and have overlooked your beloved Jake Ryan's good qualities. The good news is that we aren't fighting over the same man so we can be BFFs. Also I am intrigued by the idea of snuggies that are also pants... if I didn't live in a tropical country I would be all over that action.

Posted by: Peachee at September 3, 2010 3:28 AM

"fully fleshed out instantly" means stereotypes that i liked.

i am so let down by how badly pajiba needs to jerk off to all these brat pack movies. i thought you were my outcast friends but your not. back in the 80's, during the trenches of my adolescence there were a pile of movies, most starring one or more of the brat pack that were supposed to inform me about how things were, except it was a candy cake world that had nothing to do with my world. and, yws, that includes your beloved lloyd dobler.

pajiba, you let me down. the 80's were a hotbead of cool h9rror movies aand subversive cult classics. it was a seedy underbelly time that formented the generation that brought us todaays cool movies, but when you look back you choose to remembr the pap blockbusters they fed us to try and make us normal. they were like, we relate here are rehashed fifties dreams of highschools and dorks and love while we were coping with drug and gangs and real divorce issues.

i'm all about the nostalgia, but christ if you are going to have 80's week, why dont you try doing 80's of your readers.

Sid and nancy, 1984, heavy metal, repo man, the wall, Re-Animator, or at least admitting that even judd nelson getting cigarette burns was closer to mainstream than we aver got

my god, i am tired and nostalgic but sheesh, sixteen candles is pretty fucking far from my 80's. House is a movie a i remember better and one that my adventures in the movie house lasted longer in my memory.

Posted by: idleprimate at September 3, 2010 5:13 AM

It's an 80's teen movie. Everything out there doesn't have to be a paragon of political correctness. Chill out. Every single movie reviewed on this site gets called either racist or sexist for one reason or another. It really gets old. Yes, the Donger is a broadly drawn stereotype, played BY AN ASIAN who chose the role. I'm sure he cries about the travesty of racism every time he cashes a royalty check.

People need to remember that "racism" and "possibly mildly offensive stereotypes" are not interchangeable. I know everyone wants to sound all enlightened, but the white guilt around here is astounding. We all get it; you're good people and not racist. I'm reminded of Chris Rock's rant: "That's what you're SUPPOSED to do!"

Posted by: tinmo at September 3, 2010 8:16 AM

And by the way, what is it that says to you that the Donger couldn't be representative of a real high school person? He's a foreign exchange student. He's out of his element. He has an accent. He's not too bright. Should they have had a white foreign exchange student who spoke with a Midwestern accent and had a genius IQ so as to avoid seeming racist? But then, isn't another stereotype of Asians that they're all hardcore Type A geniuses? Come on, people. Do you live in the world at all? I don't get upset every time someone stereotypes Missourians as hillbillies who all live in trailers and go to Wal-Mart half clothed and talk like they're straight out of Deliverance. People like that do in fact exist. No, they're not all like that. It's called a character.

Posted by: tinmo at September 3, 2010 8:26 AM

i'm all about the nostalgia, but christ if you are going to have 80's week, why dont you try doing 80's of your readers.

Since everybody's tuning in with their appreciation for these movies, doesn't that indicate that this site's readers, you know, enjoy, & probably identify with, these particular 80s movies?

Posted by: the new transported man at September 3, 2010 8:26 AM

In my opinion, there's a big difference between "movies that happened to have been made in the '80s" and "'80s movies." I don't watch Sid & Nancy and think, ah, what an evocative portrayal of life in the 1980s.

Also, it's not wholly fair to use the quote "fully fleshed out instantly" to imply that I like stereotypes when the full quote states that to call these characters fully fleshed out would be going overboard.

Posted by: Courtney at September 3, 2010 10:01 AM

Allright, allright. Yes, the Donger was a caricature. Do people hate Breakfast at Tiffany's for Mickey Rooney's landlord? That shit is beloved and there's still some insane racist stuff in there. And I love Gone with the Wind even though it's pretty damned apparent Rhett "ravishes" Scarlett. It's so over-the-top that I can't see getting all that upset about it. It's racism and sexism that's sneaky that pisses me off.

Posted by: samantha t at September 3, 2010 10:13 AM

idleprimate, you like yucky movies. Blechh!

Posted by: Kiddo at September 3, 2010 10:38 AM

"What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he's not retarded."

Posted by: Janey at September 3, 2010 12:09 PM

Janey: Easily the line I quote the most.

Posted by: samantha t at September 3, 2010 2:10 PM

I love this movie and review so much I just had to comment days after it was posted, when probably no one even cares anymore.

Happy Labor Day holiday!

Posted by: Juice in LA at September 3, 2010 4:10 PM

In my opinion, there's a big difference between "movies that happened to have been made in the '80s" and "'80s movies." I don't watch Sid & Nancy and think, ah, what an evocative portrayal of life in the 1980s.

Bingo.

/discussion

Posted by: TK at September 3, 2010 4:16 PM

Chiming in late as usual. Love, love, love this movie! Way better than The Breakfast Club which contained characters that I mostly just wanted to smack the shit out of. This movie is infinitely quotable and captures the time period for random suburban middle class white kids perfectly. The lack of minorities (and of course the Dong stereotype) are products of the time period as far as I can see. My school was not a majority "white" high school, so I certainly noticed it (and I was in high school when this came out), but I enjoyed it anyway. It's a completely absurd movie! But, absurd in that utterly fabulous way so I cut it some slack.

Sid & Nancy? I understand that you were into the horror genre (and this site has reviewed Friday the 13th, etc.), but how does a movie set in the 70s punk era define the Reagan 80s?

Posted by: Groovy Violet at September 4, 2010 10:18 AM

@zawmer - Yeah Molly Ringwald's character was kinda bland and kinda awkward. Just like a regular teen. She was your quintessential 16 yr old who doesn't fit into any particular clique, mooning over the hot older guy in school. But she interacted with people, she had friends. Bella Swan she was not.

Posted by: villain's minion at September 12, 2010 8:51 PM


















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