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Coyote Ugly Review: Subverting the Dominant Paradigm

By Guest Critic Armond White | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (25)



normal_Tux31_627_Coyote_Ugly.jpg

“Hell No! H20!” That’s the unexpectedly avant garde rallying cry of Maria Bello’s maître d’ in the ambitiously populist and envisionating 2000 film, Coyote Ugly, a film that reminds us of a time not too long ago before effete and obscure auteurs began hiding behind their CGI gimcrackery and dialog-ridden scripts steeped in superhero fantasy. Coyote Ugly reintroduces the idea of cinema as it was originally conceived — as a way to appeal to and enrich every viewer’s eye-born aesthetic instinct — before a concentration on nature, physiognomy, and elitist sophistication forced the medium to explode upon itself. Bello’s character, Lil, may as well have been spraying aqua pura on the fiery remains of a dying art form, breathing one last gasp into the medium before the eraironic of fake populism besotted us with the fitful gags and digital playthings of directors like Christopher Nolan. Indeed, Coyote Ugly was a movie that could bond a disparate populace, fusing our frenzied hormones together with the sophistication and ardor that only the director of Kangaroo Jack could provide.

The Jerry Bruckheimer-produced film is not plagued by the hypocritically confused self-importance of boomer vanity. It was a pure distillation of sexual boldness without any pedestrian trappings. It is blessedly free of grad school exegesis, or any of the rampant fetishism that dominates “high-culture” cinema today. Though the New York intellectuals would disagree, Coyote Ugly expresses our very contemporary concern with procreation. “Every man has a two-year-old inside his pants,” Lil tells her ingénue, Violet Sanford, before her audition with a modern saloon that fortés in leather-clad luscious pin-ups that prance and peacock on canteen bar-tops while flouncing skin to the rhythms of the industrial anthems of the era. Violet, depicted by the lithely pliable Piper Perabo — the film’s Virgin Mary metaphor dealing with her own religious struggle of sorts — moves from her salt-of-the-Earth Jersey family to Manhattan to fulfill her dreams, as Mary had done in fulfilling the prophecy of Isaiah 7:14.

Violet is joined behind and on top of the bar by supple supporting players, women who are not played by strippers but actresses with emotional affect and an ability to awaken the quivering adolescence throbbing beneath our heteronormative breeches. But these women are more than colleagues filled with estrogen and menstrua; their friendship resembles Mike Leigh’s insight and Renoir’s grace but crossed with sexual freedom and feminist triumph. True art is watching hot-chick Tyra Banks fearlessly bathe her hardened nipples in the cool liquids of an ice pitcher while staring into the grotesque parade of pulsating libidos, as if coming to grips with her own necessary exploitation.

But Coyote Ugly never gives into that bleakness. It, instead, requires viewers to feel those discredited virtues, “hope” and “faith,” and doesn’t resort to obvious, self-congratulatory point-making. It reexamines assumptions of good and evil — morality tale vs. trite entertainment — by confronting the hideous compromises people make with social conventions and their own desperation, in this case Violet’s artistically optimistic decision to engage in bar humping as a means toward a commercial singing career.

Coyote Ugly never panders to the naiveté of those who have not outgrown moral simplifications or who would want to contend with their profound impulse to procreate. The film stirs emotion from our pop culture, industrial experience then connects them to spiritual myth, while rightfully never assuming that its audience wants more than boy-meets-girl dream fulfillment.

In the decade since its release, the smug media has used unsavory means to intimidate moviegoers into holding their same high-rent values; this hegemony is put into effect by pundits with no grace or humility, who assert their difference — their smartness — from the general public. But Coyote Ugly reminds us that our primal instincts — those that the media elite cannot touch — will always win out, especially when accompanied by Def Leppard anthems. Today, critics are so smart-ass about movies that pander to hipness that they worship the form’s hi-tech degradation and crippling banality. Conversely, by bringing experience and existential contemplation together so forcefully, David McNally defies the smug elite and joins the ranks of the most audacious avant-garde filmmakers: He turns the popcorn movie experience into a consideration of our sexual concupiscence, a notion increasingly crippled by the enervated intellectuals who would prioritize thinking over our own instinctual urges. Shame on them.

Armond White is a critic for the New York Press. He is originally from Detroit.









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Comments

Wait, what?

Posted by: PDamian at August 5, 2011 12:05 AM

Another movie about empowerment.

Posted by: John W at August 5, 2011 12:12 AM

Empowering boobies!
And Tyra Banks!

Posted by: Jerry at August 5, 2011 2:06 AM

I'm so glad Armond has taken the time to join us once again. Beautiful stuff.

(I shouldn't be admitting this but I enjoy Coyote Ugly more than I should)

Posted by: beckster at August 5, 2011 2:16 AM

I didn't look at the author. I was reading this and thinking "I haven't had enough batshit insanity in my life lately. I should go look up some Armond White reviews!"

Posted by: A-schaef at August 5, 2011 3:20 AM

I particularly liked the bible reference, that one made me laugh out loud. I also liked "eye-born" although I have no idea what it means.

Posted by: snapnhiss at August 5, 2011 7:42 AM

Armond White. Movie reviewer or legitimised internet troll? Who knows....

Posted by: Fatpie42 at August 5, 2011 8:37 AM

I guess I miss the joke.


umm this guy is joking right?

Posted by: logan at August 5, 2011 8:45 AM

Is this a joke?

I'm confused.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at August 5, 2011 8:59 AM

He's referring to this?:

"Therefore, my Lord Himself shall give you a sign: behold, ha-almah [the young woman or virgin] harah [is pregnant or is about to become pregnant or shall conceive], and bear a son, and [she or you] shall call his name Immanuel."

Really?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at August 5, 2011 9:02 AM

Everything you need to know about Armond White can be summed up thusly: He hated Toy Story 3 but loved Transformers 2.

Or you can check out his Wikipedia page.

He's a troll masquerading as a critic, if you ask me.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at August 5, 2011 9:03 AM

No! He's totes serial! Coyote Ugly brought us that gem of the silver screen, Piper Perabo! She's breath of fresh not seen since Elizabeth Berkley.

Every time I see a blurb or a listing for this, and remember that Maria Bello is in it, I want to pour gas in my eyeholes. I wonder if she can get it expunged.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 5, 2011 9:21 AM

Ahahaha Armond White is terrible. I remember there was some review he wrote where he said there were elements of La Dolce Vita in that stupid Cuba Gooding Jr movie, Boat Trip.

Posted by: Sassafrass Green at August 5, 2011 9:50 AM

This is a joke, right?

Right?

Posted by: oaktree89 at August 5, 2011 10:23 AM

I would kindly and delicately point out that if you have to ask whether or not the reviewer was joking...

...then you probably didn't get the joke.


Posted by: Some Guy at August 5, 2011 10:30 AM

April 1st already? Must be a slow news day.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 5, 2011 10:39 AM

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

My biggest question is WHY is Tyra in those photos?! She was in the damned movie for like 2 minutes! SHE DIDN'T DO HER TIME, DAMMIT.

Posted by: Figgy at August 5, 2011 11:07 AM

And remember, girls: The one surefire way to keep your friends from being molested and attacked by a raging mob is to stand up on that bar and SING. SING YOUR HEART OUT.

Posted by: Figgy at August 5, 2011 11:09 AM

I kept reading waiting for the punchline, when I realized the whole write up is a punchline.
I will say this movie made me very excited to go to Coyote Ugly in Vegas. No hot babes dancing on bars, just not hot tourist women dancing under a bunch of bras that supposedly were left there by patrons.

Posted by: daria at August 5, 2011 11:19 AM

Of course, you have to admit that, "Hey baby, wanna turn the popcorn movie experience into a consideration of our sexual concupiscence?" may indeed be the best pickup line EVER.

Posted by: NateS1973 at August 5, 2011 1:53 PM

The Wikipedia article on this guy (locked!) is indeed an entertaining read. Especially the part where Roger Ebert defends him, then recants and calls him a troll . . . Then recants again after someone tells him it wasn't nice.

Posted by: Kenton at August 5, 2011 8:56 PM

I have to admit,I was pretty high the first time I read this. With all those fancy schmancy words crammed in there, I only understood about 1/4 of it...but you know what? It was pretty damn funny. Even though it kept blowing my mind with it's super cerebral mockery and made my addled brain want to give up...

Posted by: FrenchMaddie at August 6, 2011 5:20 AM

Whatever, I still love it. Most of those words were too big anyways.

Posted by: Az at August 7, 2011 4:19 PM

Hey there, You have done a great job. I will certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I'm sure they'll be benefited from this website.

Posted by: NO Xplode at August 8, 2011 4:36 AM

Has there ever been a "reveal" on which Pajiba writer composes the Armond White reviews? These are so artfully done, from the pitch-perfect impression to the fantastic take-downs of the films reviewed.

Posted by: Amanda6 at August 8, 2011 5:48 AM