Owning The Hill: 5 Actors Who Just Got Hotter With Age
While, I’m still occasionally surprised at how little some celebrities seem to age (Scully and Mulder, I’m looking in your general direction), I’ve mostly accepted that Hollywood has some sort of possibly illegal youth serum that keeps its citizens preternaturally good looking. It makes sense that if you have a shitton of money and a team of experts, they’ll some how figure out a way to keep you hot. But occasionally something happens which makes much less sense: already good-looking celebrities age into their hotness. Like a fine wine, these dudes have decided that being pretty good looking in their 20s isn’t good enough. They’ve decided they should actually wait until their 40s or 50s to really hit their stride. And these 5 sons of bitches totally pulled it off.
Now to be clear, I’m not saying any of the men listed here were ever unattractive. I’m just saying that in a lot of the cases the went from blandly good looking to shockingly attractive. Case in point: Brad Pitt. Here he is at roughly 25 aka The Age That Too Many People Claim Is Peak Hotness.
It’s fine, I guess. It’s really not a bad looking face, it’s just like there’s nothing to look at. It’s like a robot version of a good looking face. Compared to:
Brad in Mr. and Mrs. Smith at 42 aka Over-The-Hill-Territory. I might not care for some of his recent hair choices, but I’m definitely caring for your face choices.
Yes, Fassbender isn’t quite 40 yet, but I needed to include this one based on the sheer amount that his face has improved. Here’s a Young Fassbender just trying to overcome his gawky and be an actor.
And Fassbender now? Just look anywhere. Literally any place that you can see stuff, and I guarantee there’s a picture of 38-year-old Fassbender looking hot close by.
With a beard.
With bonus Oscar Isaac.
Just everywhere he’s hot. If he somehow is never named Sexiest Man Alive (which is a goddamn joke), at least we’ll know he’s our Most Improved winner.
Denzel’s appearance at the Golden Globes might have contributed largely to the idea for this list. Because this dude is 61 yearsold. Yeah. Two generations ago, 61 year olds were dying of natural causes. And now they’re just rocking the shit out of suits. But what was he like at 25?
Eh, again totally fine. Not anything I’d kick out of bed, but also nothing to rap about. But 50-year- old Denzel in Man on Fire?
Insert “Pants on Fire” joke here.
Give me a goddamn break with that face, Denzel. And for the love of God, 40-year-old Denzel in Much Ado About Nothing, don’t do anything awesome with your whole face like smile.
Fassbender does still retain the Most Improved Award, but only because grade school doesn’t count and therefore George can’t enter this little number.
Take heart, Awkward School Children, you too might one day grow to become slightly better looking albeit with terrible hair.
Yeah, that hair is bad, but try to look past it. Instead look at the face and how much it might resemble Jay Leno. That’s not a great face. But this one of 48-year-old George in Up in the Air?
I don’t know how he did it, but I’m pretty sure it’s made Jay Leno weep into his giant chin.
Oh, Harrison Ford. The Granddaddy of Dudes Who Got Hotter With Age. My mom and I have talked about how we both “discovered” Harrison Ford and then were surprised at how much better looking he got as he got older. Which means he spent roughly 40 years getting impressively better looking. And he started closer to shockingly good looking as anyone one on the list. Here he is at high school graduation.
Yes, of course that’s a good looking kid. But I’m deeply thrown off by the fact that he doesn’t have a chin scar. Here he is with 20 years and the scar.
Impressively more attractive, yes? The difference between 39-year-old Harry and 18-year-old Harry is enough to get him on this list. But the guy just would not stop. Here he is another 13 years later in Clear and Present Danger.
What are you even talking about, Harrison Ford? How did you possible dole out the hotness slowly enough that it didn’t really hit until you were 52 goddamn years old? I can’t even be made at the black magic you used for this nonsense. I’m just thrilled about your face.
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