Chris Evans Retires from Captain America And Jenny Slate

By Tori Preston | Celebrity | March 22, 2018 |

By Tori Preston | Celebrity | March 22, 2018 |

If you read today’s New York Times profile on Chris Evans (who is a vastly superior Chris amongst Chrises), you probably noticed that the man has grown one seriously glorious mustache, and that he apparently has split from on-again, off-again partner Jenny Slate. Now, I’m not saying these two things are related. Love is hard, after all, and people are harder. But you know what else is hard? Making out with a mustache. And also doing other fun-time sexy things with a mustache. Not hard for the mustache-haver, perhaps. But, um…

Wait, where was I? Oh right! Evans grew the probably-maybe breakup-unrelated facial hair for his new role as “a charming but manipulative cop” in his Broadway debut, Kenneth Lonergan’s “Lobby Hero.” His character sounds rife with toxic masculinity, but the actor claims he didn’t base his role on any single influence: “It’s awful to admit, but I know plenty of guys who fit this mold.” The play also stars Michael Cera, Brian Tyree Henry and WILDLING’s own Bel Powley, and will be running from March 26-May 13.

The limited run makes sense, with a cast like that — you just know they have other jobs to be getting on to. But one thing that isn’t on the horizon for Chris Evans is a return to the star-spangled spandex he’s been filling out so nicely in the MCU. He’s already shot the next two Avengers films… and it doesn’t sound like there are plans to bring him back (though this is Marvel/comic book territory, so inexplicable returns and shrouded surprises are par for the course here). So aside from stepping out on stage, what is Mr. Evans up to with freedom at his fingertips?

He’s getting woke! Or, well, more woke. He’s already pretty woke, let’s be honest.

One book he found eye-opening was Rebecca Solnit’s “The Mother of All Questions.” Mr. Evans read it while dating the actress Jenny Slate (their on-again, off-again relationship, beloved by the internet, recently ended) and decided that he needed to listen more and speak less.

“The hardest thing to reconcile is that just because you have good intentions, doesn’t mean it’s your time to have a voice,” he said.

So true, Mr. Evans! And yes — that off-hand aside is the entirety of the Jenny Slate reveal.

He’s also been getting into tap dancing as a low-pressure hobby. He takes lessons twice a week (“It makes me feel like I’m a part of the music”), and thinks that “Tap is waiting to have its day”:

His theory is that tap dancing today, like competitive hip-hop dancing in the early 2000s, is generally undervalued and ripe for a comeback.

“If you walk down the street and you see someone tapping,” you stop in your tracks, he said, using an unprintable word, “because it’s awesome.”

I think we can all agree that Chris Evans should show us his tap skillz ASAP. Especially if he keeps dat ‘stache!

He also looks forward to, well, general life shit. Sure, he wants to direct again, but he also wants to start a family and take up carpentry — a hobby also well suited to the casual mustache-haver.

Mr. Evans said it was those slice-of-life domestic moments, rather than notions of any particular career path, that have most influenced his vision board.

“When I think about the times that I’m happiest, it’s not on a movie set,” he said, adding that he no longer wishes to make more than one film per year. “I’ve stopped thinking about my trajectory, or my oeuvre, or whatever pretentious word you want to use. I’m just following whatever I feel creatively hungry for.”

If I can’t see him tap dance, do you think he’ll ever share a pic of his vision board?

via GIPHY

Oh whoops, wrong one!