The Ghost That Haunts My Vagina: 7 Celebrities Who Believe in Insane Things

By Jodi Smith | Celebrity | September 30, 2015 | Comments ()

By Jodi Smith | Celebrity | September 30, 2015 |


Many of you were appalled and surprised to learn that Marion Cotillard believes 9/11 was an inside job. Her reasoning is even more batshit: it was too expensive to repair the Twin Towers, so our government destroyed them. With people inside.

Obviously this sent me on a search across the internet for more celebrities that surprisingly, or in some cases unsurprisingly, believe completely nutty things.

1. Megan Fox believes in leprechauns, Bigfoot, aliens, and the Loch Ness Monster. She also told Esquire in 2013 that “What distracts me from my reality is Bigfoot. They are my celebrities”.

2. Ariana Grande insists that ghosts are real and that she met a demon.

Not an alien, but I’ve had a ghost/demon experience. We were in Kansas City a few weeks ago and went to this haunted castle and were so excited. The next night we wanted to go to Stull Cemetery, which is known as one of the seven gates to hell on Earth. The Pope won’t fly over it —

I felt this sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity over the whole car and we smelled sulfur, which is the sign of a demon, and there was a fly in the car randomly, which is another sign of a demon. I was like, “This is scary, let’s leave.” I rolled down the window before we left and said, “We apologize. We didn’t mean to disrupt your peace.” Then I took a picture and there are three super distinct faces in the picture—they’re faces of textbook demons.

Let’s see the picture.
I deleted it. The next day I tried to send the picture to my manager and it said, “This file can’t be sent, it’s 666 megabytes.” I’m not kidding. I used to have a folder called “Demons” that had pictures with all the screencaps in it, but then weird things started happening to me so I deleted it.

3. A psychic told Phil Collins that he is the reincarnation of a soldier that fought at The Alamo. Collins is now obsessed with The Alamo and its artifacts.

“They’re orbs,” Collins says solemnly. “I’m not sure what the scientific term is, but it’s paranormal energy. See this one? Now this one is at Goliad, where, after the Alamo, 400 guys were executed. You’ve got to be careful. You can talk yourself into this stuff. See how many there are here? I get chills just talking about it. All of those orbs! They’re all over the place! If you believe this, then you have to rethink everything you’ve been taught. That’s what freaks me out.”

4. Jenny Slate is convinced that she grew up in a haunted house, which is downright adorable compared to the other lunatics on this list.

5. Kylie Jenner believes in chemtrails, the conspiracy that airplanes are spraying poison or weather-controlling particles into the air. Those white trails left by airplanes are totally not from warm exhaust meeting cold air, duh.


6. Mos Def is a 9/11 truther. He doesn’t “believe any of these motherfuckers went to the moon neither,” though, so …

7. Ke$ha fucked a ghost and her vagina had to be exorcised. Her ground up placenta also assists her psychic abilities when she wears it around her neck.

“When the ghost haunts my vagina! You are laughing, but it’s very serious. It’s a problem. I know it sounds ridiculous but in all honesty, I believe in all this crazy sh-. So I was told I had dead people in me so I called … my hypnotherapist. So then she said she had to exorcise my body. And then I got a ghost meter to read it, just beeped at my vagina. It was half off, it’s awesome. It seemed to be accurate because I have been going through a dry spell and it was like beeping around and it all makes sense now.”

keshagina.gif


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