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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

By Commander Strikeher | Posted Under Book Reviews | Comments (51)



chrisgoofy.jpg

Jesus H. Christ, I loved this book! Or, more accurately, Jesus H. Christ made me love this book.

A few years ago one of my friends pointed out an interesting fact. The gospels focus on the birth of Jesus, and then you never hear another thing about him until he starts preaching, just before the crucifixion. Ever wonder what happened between the birth of Christ and his crucifixion? Lamb is the missing gospel according to Biff. Biff was Jesus’s best friend ever since he stumbled on the six-year-old Messiah resurrecting lizards in the desert. Biff is hardly a Christ-like figure. He has sex (a lot), curses, learns to fight, and is generally a pain in the ass.

Biff was resurrected in the present day by the soap opera-obsessed angel Raziel in order for Biff to write his gospel. Biff and Joshua (Jesus’s real name) grew up in Nazareth together and both fell in love with Maggie (Mary Magdalene). Joshua knows from the beginning that he is the son of God, even though Biff thinks he’s nuts. Joshua realizes that he can’t learn how to be the Messiah just hanging around Nazareth, so he and Biff set off on a journey to visit each of the three wise men. The first wise man, Balthasar, lives in a fortress with his concubines. Joshua and Biff hang around for a few years, learning about Taoism and other Asian religions/philosophies. Then they study with Gaspar for a few years at a Tibetan monastery. Finally, they travel to India and study with Melchoir. The boys, now men, return to Jerusalem and Joshua/Jesus begins preaching, gathering apostles, and well … you know the rest.

I love that Moore has Joshua/Jesus learn about all of the other established religions before starting his own. Quite a bit of Christianity has its roots in other religions. Not all of this book is wacky hijinks. There are quite a few poignant moments as well. This book was a blast to read, and I am sure that I will be re-reading it again and again. Put this on your shelf next to Good Omens. They would be great companions.

This review is part of the Cannonball Read series. For more of Commander Strikeher’s reviews, check out the blog, Boldly Going to Kick Your Ass.









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Comments

For the last two sentences alone, I now have to read this book.

Posted by: Dorkydragon at January 26, 2010 8:15 AM

Ooh I love Lamb!

I think what I love the most, apart from Josh's silly sense of humor ("untouchable?" *poke*), is that even though you absolutely know the ending, it will still make you hope, pray that it'll somehow end differently, and you'll cry when it doesn't.

Terrific book.

Posted by: Linda at January 26, 2010 8:18 AM

Wow, so he has cool hat! But what is it?? HOHO, WHo cares... I met a nice man on http://Agegaplove.com but he is 18 years older than me. Wow, what should I do??

Posted by: seeklove at January 26, 2010 8:26 AM

This was one of my favorites. I went on to read all of his books. some of which are better than others, but I LOVE his sense of humor.
Also, loved Good Omens. Well done!

Posted by: Nimue at January 26, 2010 9:05 AM

I'm reading A Dirty Job now. It is, without a doubt, the funniest book I've read in a years. Anyone who hasn't read it - go pick it up. If you liked Dead Like Me (and who doesn't, I mean, really?), you'll love A Dirty Job.

Fluke is next on my list, and then I'll jump on The Gospel According to Biff.

Moore is awesome.

Posted by: Rob at January 26, 2010 9:15 AM

oh, i forgot how much i loved this book!
so glad you brought it back to my attention.
i gotta re-read it & pick up A Dirty Job!
praise pajiba.

Posted by: gem at January 26, 2010 9:20 AM

I love, love, love this book. I want to marry it and have its babies.

"I love all the little children. Red, yellow, black, green."

"What?"

"I'm just fucking with you."

Posted by: Your Mom at January 26, 2010 9:38 AM

I loved this book, and "A Dirty Job." Moore does a great job with those Beta Male characters (his wording, not mine).

I do sometimes feel a bit let down by the post-climax portions of his book. But, that happens to me a lot concerning men of whom I have high expectations....
(I'm here all night- tip your bartender.)

Seriously though, folks, anyone felt that way about Moore? Specifically "The Stupidest Angel," "You Suck," and "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove?"

Posted by: Lurkey Turkey at January 26, 2010 9:46 AM

I think you are forgetting to mention the best part of this book: JESUS KNOWS KUNG FU!

Much as I loved this book, I felt like it was a fairly radical departure from his other work. This is much more serious throughout, though still frequently hilarious, and the climax is, obviously, tragic. I suppose the denouement could be called a let down, but how does an author top the crucifixion?

But "A Dirty Job"? Haaaaaaaaated it.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 26, 2010 9:56 AM

My sponsor gave me this book as a gift for my confirmation. What kind of messed up church do I belong to?
It was hilarious.

Posted by: Kiddo at January 26, 2010 10:03 AM

My favorite Christoper Moore is Practical Demonkeeping, but I'll have to try this next!

Posted by: badkittyuno at January 26, 2010 10:08 AM

Definitely Christopher Moore's finest work. It's also one of my favorite books ever ever ever ever ever. And I read a LOT.

Posted by: kate the great at January 26, 2010 10:08 AM

I read this for the first time a couple years ago and I have to agree with Linda about the ending. I cried like a baby, and that's not a normal reaction to literature for me. I couldn't recommend this book more highly.

Posted by: TheMaskedEmu at January 26, 2010 10:13 AM

Never heard of it, I'm going to the library to get it today.

Posted by: TWoP Fan at January 26, 2010 10:19 AM

Heh. I've told the ,daughter a few times, "Jesus hung out with fishermen. You think personal hygiene was a big deal to a 0 B.C. fisherman, guy out in the hot sun all day pulling crap out of the water? Imagine how that smelled. And if one of them lost a finger in a tangle of net, or got a hook buried in his thigh, do you think he just said 'Oh, ouch, golly, that sure hurts' in Hebrew or Aramaic or whatever they spoke? You think the disciples didn't curse and belch and fart and shit over the side of the boat and get pissed off and laugh and tell raunchy jokes around the fire at night, like bunches of guys have forever and ever? And that Jesus probably did too?"

Anyway, after Monty Python, Moore captures that kind of idea better than anyone I know. I haven't been able to find "Lamb" at the library but I've read "Dirty Job" and several others and while I think he strains too hard to be funny sometimes, what the hell, I still get a laugh from his work.

Posted by: , at January 26, 2010 10:21 AM

If I didn't want to read this book from reading this lovely review, I definitely HAVE to read it after seeing this: I think you are forgetting to mention the best part of this book: JESUS KNOWS KUNG FU! posted by Tracer Bullet


I am so in! KUNG FU JESUS!

Posted by: ashes at January 26, 2010 10:33 AM

Bacon.

Posted by: kelsy at January 26, 2010 10:36 AM

YAY! My favorite book of all time.

Posted by: Julie at January 26, 2010 10:37 AM

It's been a while since I read this book, but doesn't Jesus know judo, not kung fu? Isn't judo invented for him and named after him - Jew-Do?

Also: Jesus becomes BFF with a yeti!!!

Posted by: Your Mom at January 26, 2010 10:58 AM

and there is a YETI?!?!

I'm off to the bookstore now.

Posted by: ashes at January 26, 2010 10:59 AM

Totally awesome book. Among the few I recommend to just about anyone. Moore manages to bring the funny yet he never disrespects the foundations of the religion. That's a fine line to walk. Also, of all his books, this is the tightest in terms of writing. Sandwiched between Good Omens and American Gods on the religion shelf. The works of Thomas Aquinas and Boethius are not amused, but I am.

Posted by: Reba at January 26, 2010 11:17 AM

I just read "A Dirty Job," which was my first Christopher Moore book. I really like it. I'm not sure whether I want to read "Lamb." I'm a Christian, but I can take a fair amount of ribbing and poking (unlike many of my brethren), but I'm not sure if I want to subject myself to outright blasphemy (gasp!).

Posted by: Hoof Hearted at January 26, 2010 11:19 AM

I love anything by Moore, and I've read most of his books. But Lamb is his best. I completely agree with Linda - I was sobbing at the end.

"Don't let anyone ever tell you that the Prince of Peace never struck anyone."

Posted by: HeathPie at January 26, 2010 11:20 AM

Hoof Hearted, I don't think this book isn't blasphemous at all. Really, you'll like it. It's funny and sweet.

Posted by: kate the great at January 26, 2010 11:22 AM

Holy Crap! I overslept this morning, finally woke up, and my review was published on Pajiba! Today is going to be awesome!

My review really doesn't do this book justice. This book was simply wonderful. I just finished Practical Demonkeeping, and that review will be up shortly. I'm addicted to Moore. Can't wait until Bite Me comes out in April!

Posted by: Commander Strikeher at January 26, 2010 11:26 AM

Ahhh whatever you do, do NOT buy/read Fluke. Its awful, so disappointing and love just about everything that Christopher Moore writes. I know you'll read it anyway but just get it from the library, please!

Posted by: Erin at January 26, 2010 11:28 AM

Hoof Hearted, I think this book actually reads better if you are familiar with the New Testament. It's slightly irreverent, but I wouldn't go so far as blasphemous.

Good job with a good book, Commander Strikeher!

Posted by: Alexandra at January 26, 2010 11:46 AM

I must disagree w/ Erin. My intro to Christopher Moore was Lamb, but I read Fluke immediately thereafter. I sometimes have a hard time deciding which is my favorite, and both books are in my top 20. I must confess that my reading preferences are perfectly aligned with Moore's writing. Wacky, off-the-wall books that make you think of common themes in new ways. Jitterbug Perfume is another favorite. Robbins and Moore seem to write the contents of my mind before I even knew I thought those things. So happy to see this reviewed on Pajiba.

Posted by: MCMC at January 26, 2010 11:58 AM

Hoof Hearted, both my mother and my girlfriend's mother are incredibly devout Catholics and both of them enjoyed Lamb a lot. If you're open to ribbing, I'd say this book'll do fine by you.

Posted by: TheMaskedEmu at January 26, 2010 12:22 PM

I loved this book too! So awesome! Good review.

Posted by: Chickaboom at January 26, 2010 12:27 PM

Hoof Hearted, GO READ THIS BOOK

At no point in the narrative does the character of Jesus "break"- He remains a good man through and through, all the hijinks are perpetrated by Biff. I have given this book to literally a hundred people, several of them clergy members, and every one of them has loved it.

I have enjoyed all of his books, some more than others. But of all of them, to me, Lamb is his masterpiece- he hit it out of the park with that one. I have met him several times at book signings. He seems like a very nice guy.

Moores newest book, "Fool" is also very good. It is a retelling of "king Lear" from the point of view of Lears fool, who Moore has named "Pocket". Very raunchy Shakesperian fun.


Posted by: JFD at January 26, 2010 1:16 PM

This review could have been written by one of my 9th graders (is that you, Anthony?) So it's got a cool premise. What about the writing? I mean, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has a neat-o gimmicky premise that sounds "awesome" and yet it's a steamin bowl of mediocre, quickly stale poo-poo.

I'm not saything this book is that, but you're not saying it's not either. What makes it a good read, aside from the story?

Posted by: AM at January 26, 2010 1:18 PM

Thanks Kate the Great, Alexandra, TheMaskedEmu and JFD. I'm putting it on my list!

Posted by: Hoof Hearted at January 26, 2010 1:48 PM

I too love this book. It's definitely on my Top Ten of All Time list.

To respond to AM's comment above, I think it's difficult to qualify exactly what it is about Lamb that makes it so great. It's the way in which the story is told - a story a whole bunch of people the world over know, but is told in a brand-new way, with characters you really come to love and pitch-perfect writing. And it's incredibly quotable. Unclean!

Posted by: naivehelga at January 26, 2010 4:39 PM

Yes! Another person becomes addicted to Moore! Oh, and I'm with MCMC--do not under any circumstances skip Fluke. I know a lot of people dislike it, but it's one of my absolute favourites. So, give it a shot.

AM, you do realize that these Cannonballers have committed to write 52 book reviews in a year, on a volunteer basis (for charity, no less), on top of their normal everyday life responsibilities, eh? Don't get me wrong, in-depth analysis certainly can be helpful, but not everyone has time for that sort of attention to detail every single week. Anyway, I think it's pretty obvious that the reviewer thought this was an enjoyable read, as opposed to a quirky but ultimately disappointing premise.

Posted by: meaux at January 26, 2010 6:22 PM

Paraphrasing here but the best lines are:
Biff - "does it bother you when I talk about fucking women?"
Jesus - "No. Does it bother you when I talk about getting into heaven?"

The Stupidest Angel was my first Moore book, and I have read all of them since. If he could write em as fast as I read em, I would be happy.

Posted by: The Woo at January 26, 2010 10:15 PM

AM - bite my fucking ass - I ain't getting paid for this shit and I work two jobs, volunteer for TWO organizations, and still find time to read and write reviews, which I am doing purely for entertainment, not for anybody else's approval. I did this for my blog, for me, not for you.

P.S. Go fuck yourself.

Posted by: Commander Strikeher at January 26, 2010 11:27 PM

Well, I think I have a legitimate point about your review. There's no point in even writing a review if all you're going to say is that you loved (or hated) something with no justification. How does that convince anyone? If you were someone whose opinion I already understood and valued, I'd be inclined to read the book just because you said I should. But I don't know you. Therefore, you need to justify your opinion. Heck, even a quote would help.

I guess if you're writing for people who've already read this book (and judging by the comments, most have) then fine. I just want to know what makes the writing so good. If you can't say, then I guess that makes you an enthusiast, but not a critic. That's all. Do it for your own entertainment. Be entertained. And don't get all mad when somebody asks for some substance in your review.

Posted by: AM at January 27, 2010 10:35 AM

I loved this book - there is tension in the plot even though the outcome of the story is/should be known tot he reader, the characters are relateable and their development is realistic (within the confines of the supernatural elements of the book, of course), and it's freakin' HILARIOUS.

Posted by: Nipsy at January 27, 2010 11:16 AM

AM, if you had said something like your second comment, which was full of constructive criticism, I would not have reacted as I did. But you didn't. You said, "This review could have been written my one of my ninth graders". That was the first sentence you wrote. Is that how you talk to your ninth graders? "This looks like something a second grader wrote, you retarded monkey?"

Again, the CBR is for fun, not something I'm getting paid for, and honestly, it is something I wrote in 20 minutes, and never thought anyone outside my immediate circle of friends would read. It was written for my personal blog and Pajiba was nice enough to publish it.

Comments like yours are why people lurk on this site and are afraid to comment.

Posted by: Commander Strikeher at January 27, 2010 11:17 AM

AM - I believe that the (brief) summary of the plot reveals a great deal about the book. It tells us that Moore did a lot of research and gives a fresh look at historical figures by creating a character who sees them as people instead of icons. Also, you know it's very funny. I'm sorry if you were unable to deduce that from what was written, but I think it's rather obvious.

If you need to be assured that Moore can write well, I think the enthusiasm Commander Strikeher has for the work, bolstered by the immediate agreement of many regular commenters, is a good start. And, for extra measure, the comparison to Good Omens should give you an idea of what sort of writing/tone to expect. The review may not be up to snuff for academic purposes, but there's plenty to mine if you have any familiarity with close reading.

Posted by: Reba at January 27, 2010 11:29 AM

Lamb is amazing. Christopher Moore is a genius. Most of his books are phenomenal but this is one the best. Dirty Job, You Suck, and Fool are of his newer stuff and they are all wonderful. I was sitting in one of my best friend's mother's hospital room while she was dying of cancer and a few of us were just sitting with her. I was reading Lamb and trying like hell not to burst out into laughter. I am not a person that laughs very easily at books or movies.

Love Christopher Moore. I wish I could secretly be him. Put out successful books, check, live on Hawaii, check, get to write about crazy/cool/hilarious shit, check.

It pisses me off that Disney purchased the rights to Practical Demon Keeping, only to sit on it so no one else could have it. Like when you were little and grabbed a toy from your little brother not because you wanted the toy right then but because it was yours and what the hell was he doing with his grubby hands on it, and he better not have lost it, damn it or I am going to beat the hell out of.... What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Damn Disney and their grubby, purchasing movie rights hands that don't do anything but sit on such funny material that would put the Twi-Saga to shame.

Posted by: TVConnoisseur at January 27, 2010 12:10 PM

The thing is, AM, is that there isn't much to Christopher Moore except a bit of silliness. I guess the review could have made up something New York Times-ish about zeitgeist or the precedents for Moore's over-the-top turn of phrase. But really, what's the point? The books are escapism, pure and simple.

It would be like comparing Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure to de Tocqueville's Democracy in America (yes, one is a book and the other is a movie, but couldn't think of a silly road trip book). It would make the reviewer look well-educated, but wouldn't say much about the pleasures of enjoying silliness for the sake of itself.

Posted by: masonwasp at January 27, 2010 12:11 PM

Valid responses all, and now I do have a clearer understanding that the appeal of the books seems to be mainly in its premise. Thank you. I probably would like to read it when I'm reaching for something escapist.

I would actually like to defend my ninth-graders, who I in no way intended to denigrate. A ninth-grader is developmentally inclined to focus on his or her emotional response to a text, without being able to articulate the reasons for it. They just like things, and hate them, and they have to be taught the language and skills to explain why. I didn't say retarded monkey, you did. Ninth-graders write the way they do because of their developmental limitations. I assume that you are not a 14 year-old but an adult, and one who is publishing a work in an open forum frequented by educated folk who take issue with all kinds of things, and do so in nasty language at times. I'm sure you knew this. If you weren't prepared to stand by your review as such, maybe you shouldn't be reading the comments, in order to save yourself the pain of criticism.

Posted by: AM at January 27, 2010 12:27 PM

AM, you may have a clearer understanding of the book, but not of Cannonball Read. Commander Strikeher did not publish to Pajiba, he published to his personal blog, and as a member of Cannonball, his review was published at random by Pajiba so we could all be exposed to a new book/book we read and loved/hated. It is not intended to be "high criticism". Though you may desire such elements to be in the book review section of this website, it has not been in that format for quite some time now. I hope this alleviates your confusion. I really do.

Posted by: welldressed at January 27, 2010 2:33 PM

This was my favorite books for years. I never re-read books, but after seeing some of the lines again, I may have to do so with this one.

It would be like comparing Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure to de Tocqueville's Democracy in America (yes, one is a book and the other is a movie, but couldn't think of a silly road trip book).

Come on, now. On the Road?

Posted by: SaBrina at January 27, 2010 9:08 PM

I really must say that this book is one of my favorites of all time. I just picked it back up again and am about 3/4 the way through it...laughing as hard as i did the first 3 times i read it. It is wonderful to see that people are reading it for the first time still. This book, while it is edgy, humorous, and potentially very controversial..is a must read for EVERYONE! It is a book that really should be mandatory in schools...i know it sounds crazy...but what it can teach is an open mind and acceptance of pretty much anything that comes your way. Through sarcasm (thank you Biff) and creative liberties, Christopher Moore has written a book that has changed my life. Wether he would like to admit it or not...he is a brilliant author. Lamb is a book that is not for the faint of heart...and only for those of strong Faith...if someone tells you they wont read it because they think it is Blasphemous..tell them that humor is the best teacher and that their faith, should be strong enough to be tested. Tell them to read the f---ing book, poke them, then call them an untouchable!

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Is there a movie? does anyone know?

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