I sit here in this moment confounded because of a video about cakes. I sit here as a person who has watched an unhealthy amount of cooking/baking shows. I’m a person who has completely unearned opinions about soggy bottoms and underdone dough as if I could outdo The Great British Bake-Off contestants, when I’m far more suited to compete on Nailed It! Still, I have to say: what the hell is this.
These Are All Cakes pic.twitter.com/ejArkJHaid— Tasty (@tasty) July 8, 2020
The Tasty account has created a video by cutting in half things like a red Croc shoe, a sudsy bar of soap, and a roll of toilet paper. But low and behold! Each time, it is not an average household item but a cake! Every one is expertly covered in fondant and edible paint to create remarkable illusions. And when it comes to cutting open a pizza, a coconut or a platter of grilled meats and veg to reveal a cake inside - that’s fun, surprising, and cute. But why in the name of all that’s good make a cake that looks like toilet paper? Who wants to eat that?! And I say this as someone who has eaten my fair share of butt cake.
What is a butt cake? It’s exactly what you’re imagining:
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I didn’t take enough food pics. In part because most meals were eaten in the dark of theaters. But TLC took care of me for veggies, oysters, and $5 margaritas. And @brandyfons provided sweet treats with The instantly iconic butt cake. Which me, @mcastimovies and @haystackmcgroovy dug into late one night for girl talk like a very weird reboot of The Golden Girls.
It is a cake that looks like a butt. It was presented at Fantastic Fest to promote the movie Butt Boy. Inside, the fleshy-colored fondant was chocolate cake, because of course. There were also little toys, like a king cake but weirder. In the movie, shoving stuff up a butt is a pivotal plot point. So this choking hazard choice made some sense.
It’s a cake that’s cheekily disgusting, not just because it’s a butt but also because that fondant layer was THICK and weirdly realistic looking. We laughed as we cut into the butt. But then to actually have a slab of ass in front of you as a treat? Even after the Fantastic Feast for The Platform that felt odd. But look, food at film festivals is few and far between, and when it’s free all the better.
I will say this — the cake was good. I ate it for breakfast and when I came rolling in at 3 A.M. after a full day of screenings and too many cocktails. One night, I was joined by two female colleagues, and we gathered around like a twisted remake of The Golden Girls, slicing up butt cake and recounting our day. But you know what I didn’t eat? The fondant, flesh-colored and thick and not so sweet. Fondant is gross. So when you make a delicious cake and then slather it in edible clay to make it pretty, I get the sacrifice in flavor. But when you’re doing it to make something like a roll of toilet paper, I’m lost in the why of it all. Personally, I chucked away the butt fondant. And you know what’s even weirder than butt cake? Seeing slabs of skin casually lying in an open trash can.
Now, I get humans are curious creatures and the “why” of many bizarre activities is essentially “why not?” So let’s assume the makers of the toilet paper cake did it for the same reason the butt cake was made, to draw attention to a product, be it a movie or a quirky bakery. Let’s move on to the important question: under what conditions would you eat a toilet paper cake?
Header Image Source: Twitter