Pop quiz: Which one of these tweets by Emma Watson do you think caused the Internet’s collective neckbeard to set alight in righteous fury?
Was it Exhibit A:
Or was it Exhibit C:
It was C! I know, right? I couldn’t have guessed either.
So, the situation is: here we have a young actress, mourning and remembering a colleague and a friend with words that friend had said. Lovely, inclusive words that the young actress would have found inspiring, hopeful, and inextricably tied up with the by all accounts progressive Alan ‘I was born a card-carrying member of the Labour Party’ Rickman. Alan Rickman, who enjoyed working with ‘strong-minded, brilliant women’.
THIS. WILL. NOT. STAND!
.@EmWatson oh wow, you're using someone's death to push a completely unrelated agenda. this is so, so gross.— Chloë Price (@Dekashoko) January 14, 2016
Other stalwart defenders of decency took an even more vociferous path to right this egregious wrong, but I will not cheapen their cause or humility by embedding or even naming them here:
‘Don’t talk about feminist right now, we don’t give a f—k. A man died and you’re just talking about him being a feminist Emma?’
‘Emma, you are a repugnant human being using his death to push your agenda. Go f—k yourself, t—t.’
We salute you, oh seekers of truth, bastions of the light.
We wait with bated breath for you to unleash your holy fire upon the awfulness of Watson’s other Rickman tweets:
How dare Watson use this tragedy as a platform for this self-aggrandising, self-involved spiel about how ‘important’ her profession is #seriously #whywouldyoudothis
Jesus, Emma, your friend just died. Have some class. Why are you talking about swimming at a time like this? Besides, not all of us can afford a pool you know. #noperspective
Even Emma Thompson’s at it!:
Well, I would’ve thought that Emma Thompson was better than this. Why are you bringing up politics at a time like this? #tiredofthesewomensayingthings
These guys are so right. God, why’re we even SAYING ANYTHING right now? Why are the women, especially, not just sat in a corner with tape over their mouth?
Internet, just shut the fuck up.