The Hallmark Channel (one of the signs of the apocalypse) recently caught a lot of flak for dropping -and then reinstating- ads from Zola, a wedding planning site that used same-sex couples in their advertising. One Million Moms (actual number of Moms: 30? 41 at most?) was the driving force behind the schmaltzy movie channel’s ill-advised PR move, proving once again that they are useless twats out for spreading hate to and about other people’s children.
ANYWAY, Twitter thought about the whole situation and said, “You know what? There are some ads that should be pulled. I want them to burn. BURN.”
Forget that Someone Who Shall Remain Unnamed That Used To Work Here didn’t understand the whole “Every Kiss Begins With Kay” tagline until a year or two ago and these commercials are still awful. Everyone knows the diamond business is a huge scam and as problematic as any other business endeavor that involves inventing and then perpetuating the need for its product for every marriage that takes place in the world. Also, blood diamonds, anyone?
If I never have to see another bland couple get all kissy-faced when the woman is presented with an ugly diamond pendant or tacky ring, it’ll be too soon.
First of all, I hate their house. Secondly, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO PURCHASE TWO HUGE TRUCKS IN SECRET? You don’t have to consult your spouse? You don’t need their income on the loan paperwork? WHO DOES THIS. I hate you.
“May cause anal leakage.” You know what? I think I’ll stick with my dry eyes after all, but thanks!
#AdsThatShouldBePulled— Bobby X (@CasablancaRic) December 16, 2019
I salute the ad executive that thinks a preteen bears clean hiney is a way to sell toilet paper. To that Bright eyed executive I say “Enjoy the Meth Abuse!” pic.twitter.com/EwES2O5Swp
Why does the bear have underwear? I can see he isn’t wearing any pants. Who is he trying to fool with this nonsense?
Then we have the Blue Bear Family, with the Dad over here rubbing all up on the toilet paper. Dear Boy Red Bear, don’t leave your tighty whities over at the Blue Bear house, PLEASE.
Actually, f*ck ALL insurance company ads.
#AdsThatShouldBePulled— Spay&NeuterYourtrump (@HolmSvea) December 16, 2019
Liberty Mutual. Especially the one with the illiterate actor. (Followed by the fortune teller in a box). WHY do all Insurance companies do such lame ads? pic.twitter.com/H7PTrLJdSe
I’m so angry just looking at these. Honestly, I don’t see commercials unless I’m watching football because I am currently addicted to the 24-hour-a-day MST3K and Rifftrax channels on Twitch, but nothing makes me more furious in a shorter time span than commercials. They’re all terrible, cliche, and probably make the products more expensive (obviously). Maybe drop the musical numbers or storylines and just tell me about the product, okay?
Puppymonkeybaby still haunts my nightmares.
Header Image Source: Progressive Insurance