President Trump announced today that Sarah Sanders would be leaving the White House after three and a half years, despite the fact that Trump has only been in the White House for two and a half years, which could only mean that the years feel as long to him as they do to the rest of us.
After 3 1/2 years, our wonderful Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving the White House at the end of the month and going home to the Great State of Arkansas….— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 13, 2019
….She is a very special person with extraordinary talents, who has done an incredible job! I hope she decides to run for Governor of Arkansas - she would be fantastic. Sarah, thank you for a job well done!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 13, 2019
There’s not a big story behind Sanders’ reasoning yet, although I don’t expect that we’ll find out in six months that Sanders was forced out, or that she quit in protest because that would presume that Sanders had the capacity to protest the President. She has wholeheartedly supported and endorsed his every corrupt and amoral move. I wish we could take solace in this, but her replacement — if there even is one (Trump has often said he’s his own best press secretary) will undoubtedly be as awful or worse as Sanders, if that is even possible.
Indeed, the only joy in this comes from the jokes that Twitter has been sharing in a sort of ha ha funny commiserating how could-it-possibly-get-any-worse-but-it-definitely-will kind of way.
So beautiful for Trump to honor Sarah Huckabee Sanders with one final lie https://t.co/VznIigAyQX— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) June 13, 2019
Sarah Huckabee Sanders is returning to her former private sector job, which is slugging baby cows unconscious at a veal farm. When properly iced/rested, the former Trump press secretary can stun 120-130 calves per hour, ahead of what has been called a "wildly inhumane" slaughter.— Dan O'Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) June 13, 2019
Dear all media/entertainment outlets… do not have Sarah Sanders on your show. Do not put her on Dancing With the Stars. Do not have her surprise the audience at the Emmys. Do not invite her on to Saturday Night Live. The danger she has put our country in must not be overlooked.— Andrew Kimmel (@andrewkimmel) June 13, 2019
Sarah Sanders lied regularly and blatantly to the American people on behalf of a criminal autocrat. She will depart in shame, doomed to a punishment of millions of $$ from FOX commentator jobs, book deals, and speaking/lobbying gigs, because everything is severely fucking broken.— Rob Sheridan (@rob_sheridan) June 13, 2019
Sarah Sanders stepping down in order to spend more time with her rotting soul.— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) June 13, 2019
Sarah Sanders stepping down in order to spend more time with her horrible brother and shitty father.
Sarah Sanders stepping down in order to spend more time being booted from America's restaurants
Best of luck to Sarah Huckabee Sanders, may your next career move, no matter what it is, involve lustily fucking yourself— Erin ðŸ”¥ðŸƒðŸ»â€â™€ï¸ Ryan (@morninggloria) June 13, 2019
Fun reminder that Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted to Mueller she lied about FBI agents hating Jim Comey and was never once asked about it by the press members she lied to.— Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) June 13, 2019
We’re not gonna have Sarah Huckabee Sanders to kick around any more. Well, unless we run into her at Applebee’s.— Abaddon (@BacchusFan) June 13, 2019
I'm not going to believe that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving as White House press secretary until she denies it herself.— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) June 13, 2019
Sarah Sanders is reportedly considering a run for Governor of Arkansas in 2022, ensuring that I will never return to my home state again.