Everybody knows that the holiday most aligned with Mariah Carey’s spirit is Christmas. She’s said it herself, you’ll never meet a more festive person. Once you hear Mariah’s perennial hit All I Want For Christmas Is You played in the wild, there’s no turning back. It’s time to pack up the hand turkeys and smash all the pumpkins. Yes, Christmas has always belonged to Mariah, while Halloween has been under the purview of Michael Myers since he first stabbed his way onto the scene back in 1978. But this is 2018, a year to forget what you THOUGHT you knew. Up is down, backward is forward, and Mariah Carey is now a harbinger of death.
The internet has been up to shenanigans once again, and something somebody heard somebody say has become a mega meme that’s sweeping the world. In this case, somebody said that Mariah Carey looked like Michael Myers and now it can’t be unseen. The genie is out of the bottle and it’s wrapped in Spanx, wearing windblown, honey-colored tracks, and is going to kill you dead.
Putting my degree in digital paleontology to good use, I believe I’ve tracked the origin of the Mariah Myers meme. It’s fucking Twitter, of course. I’ll take that MacArthur Genius grant in nickels, please.
I cannot take him seriously ever since someone said he looked like Mariah Carey pic.twitter.com/mo5YLCcA60— ðŸ¥¤ (@beyoncelately) September 23, 2018
From there, it was off to the races!
Of course Mariah Carey doesn’t look like Michael Myers. But I will admit there is a certain undefined quality to Mariah’s public face, the one that’s usually been photoshopped to within an inch of its life, that serves as a sort of blank canvas on which one could imagine a murderous automaton lurking beneath the surface.
Besides, it’s Halloween. This is supposed to be FUN! And it is!
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Sorry Mariah and Michael! ðŸ¤£ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ #mariahcarey #michaelmyers #mariahmyers #halloween #halloweenmovie #halloweenfilm #funny #joke #humor #horrormovie #horrorfilm #horror #horrorgeek #horrorjunkie #horrormovies #horrorfan #horrorlover #horrorclub #horrorfan #horrorfilms #movie #movies #films #film #horrorlife #instahorror #horrorpage #horrorfans #horrorfanatic #horroraddict
And some people have put a lot of work into this bit. And I mean a lot!
Maybe this newfound holiday presence will inspire Mariah to write a Halloween song that’s more than just a single note banged out on a keyboard over and over again. Go ahead, girl. Take what’s yours. Own Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. They are up for grabs.
And I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t share just one last piece of Michael Myers lore the internet has barfed out this week. You ever wonder what Michael’s days are like the other 364 days of the year?
if you do ANYTHING today, please please please watch this video. you wont regret it. ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ðŸ¤£ðŸ¤£ðŸ’€ðŸ’€ðŸ’€— Mimz ðŸ (@YL_Mimz) October 17, 2018
See, Mariah’s got moves, Michael’s got moves, errybody got moves! Happy Mariahween!