If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that 2016 has been a year of 10 pounds of shit shoved into a thimble. Our cup runneth over. But how do we adequately describe this banner year? Words. I’m going to need the best words.
Back in August, Kristy wrote a beautiful and eloquent piece about how much words matter. What started out as a conversation over a movie quickly evolved into a conversation centered around political correctness, a presidential candidate, and how the use of a certain word could be used with devastating effect.
That was only August. At the time, we had been hearing some of the most god-awful words that caused us to look at each other like a bunch of confused dogs. Now, a mere 4 months later, those words have become battle cries for the League of Extraordinary Alt-Right Dude Bros. Or whatever they want to call themselves. Shit gibbons. Let’s go with that. Those are great words.
This all culminated late at night when I saw an article posted by The Beaverton noting that 2016’s word of the year was “Fuuuuuuuuuuck.”
I know that in the past, Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year directly corresponded to the major events of that year. For example, in 2008, the word of the year was “bailout” and was in direct reference to the financial institution and auto industry bailouts. In 2003, the top two words were “democracy” and “quagmire” correlating to the invasion of Iraq and a character from Family Guy, respectively.
To rub salt in the gaping wound that is 2016, Oxford Dictionary chose “post-truth” as their word of the year, narrowly beating out “alt-right”, while Dictionary.com selected “xenophobia” as theirs, and I have never written a sentence I hate more than that one so thanks, I guess.
“Post-Truth.” “Alt-right.” “Xenophobia.” Those are real, kids. Those are based on millions of searches on their respective sites.
It’s a shame that this year’s worth of words has replaced the last 5 years of what felt like progress: “pragmatic,” “socialism,” “science,” “culture” and “-ism”. My dad always said that “one thousand ‘attaboys’ are easily undone by one ‘aw shit’”; that basically countless accolades and adulation or progress can be undone by one fuck-up or regressive buzzword. The heartbreaking reality of The Beaverton’s post is that what is meant to be taken as satire is actually closer to the truth than novelty. Would I have chosen “fuuuuuuuuuuck?” Without even thinking twice. “Post-truth”, “alt-right” and “xenophobia?” That’s not how I want to remember 2016. I want a word or phrase that adequately describes how 2016 is basically the year that fear and stupidity finally got drunk enough to hook up. So I’ve compiled worthier “aw shits” so that 2016 gets the send off it deserves.
- Shebacle: a situation so messed up and so profoundly shitty that it reaches past the conventional parameters of a debacle
- The darkest timeline: This should be self explanatory at this junction. If not, #deleteyouraccount
- Disastrophe: fancy portmanteau of disaster and catastrophe
- Trumpducken: basically Trump jumping up inside his own ass
- Emotional Chernobyl
- W.T. Fuck
- Imbroglio: actual word. means “an extremely confused, complicated, or embarrassing situation”
- Soup Sandwich
- A Russian nesting doll of shit inside of shit, inside of shit etc…
- Goat Rodeo: this one is for me. I giggled so hard at this.
- These gifs:
*long, long sigh followed by staring off into the distance*
Wow. I’m going to need a bigger boat.