Only a couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how too many members of the Fun Police were jumping into the mentions of strangers on Twitter and lecturing them for having the audacity to talk about Beyoncé and her pregnancy instead of focusing their time, energy, and attention on more pressing social issues. And how those very same members of the Fun Police need to shut the fuck up and mind their own damn business. Well, clearly (and not at all surprisingly), many of them didn’t get the memo and decided to just use an even bigger microphone to express their dissatisfaction with how Black women live their lives and express themselves.
The New York Post, which is about as pleasant to read as getting a handjob from Edward Scissorhands, recently published an op-ed whose sole purpose was to tell a successful Black woman to shut up about being pregnant because being pregnant isn’t special, nor does it make you special. Look upon this White woman’s works, and despair:
As much as I’d rather walk barefoot all over the set of The LEGO Batman Movie for ten minutes straight than read a portion of this pathetic excuse of an op-ed, here it is:
Beyoncé has never known when to draw the line between what she should share with her husband and what she should share with an audience — see her chair-straddling, tush-wiggling routine from 2014, for instance. But there was another message from her endless Virgin Mary/Sun Goddess routine: Pregnancy is sexy. Motherhood is divine.
Beyoncé’s performance was introduced by her own mother, who seemed appropriately proud. But what happened after that was some kind of pagan fertility worship ceremony. Why is it that in an era where women are constantly insisting that they should not be defined by their traditional, biological roles we have fetishized motherhood to such an extent?
Adele’s words at the Grammys about motherhood weren’t as glamorous as Beyoncé’s but they were similarly self-indulgent. “In my pregnancy and through becoming a mother I lost a lot of myself. And I’ve struggled, and I still do struggle being a mom. It’s really hard. But tonight winning this kind of feels full-circle and like a bit of me has come back to myself.”
There are reports that Adele struggled with postpartum depression after giving birth, but the idea that a woman who is known to millions by only her first name has “lost” herself by becoming a mother seems a little far-fetched. When most mothers say this, they mean that they have had to scale back their professional life or that they spend their days at home changing diapers. But Adele is presumably waxing philosophical here and wants to tell us motherhood is sooooo hard. Oh, please.
Imagine a black women writing a whole article about how not special Demi moores pregnancy was how she needs to stop thinking she cute. pic.twitter.com/JuwW3MtRJb— Rachel Stewart (@RStewartJewelry) February 19, 2017
I know absolutely nothing about what it’s like to be a woman, but I’m going to take a shot in the dark and guess that carrying another human being inside of your body for NINE MONTHS!, dealing with all of the physical discomfort and emotional/psychological worries about this human that you’re carrying, hoping that this human will be born completely healthy with no physical or mental ailments whatsoever, having to suffer unbearable and unimaginable amounts of physical pain while attempting to push this significantly cumbersome human out of your vagina (or your ‘whatever’ as President #45 would call it) for hours on end, and then looking this human in the eyes and realizing that you just created a child, who you will love and cherish for the rest of your life…especially after finding out for the first time ever that you’re pregnant and then losing that child to a miscarriage…
…I’d say that every single thing about that, no matter who you are, is a miracle. And why you need to shut the fuck up when it comes to Beyoncé, Adele, or any woman wanting to bask in the feeling of upcoming motherhood and feel like a damn goddess while doing so.
Oh, and fuck you and please go brush your teeth with a chainsaw with your whole “I know that motherhood is hard and there are mothers who have children who have died and children with health problems.” You know this, you clearly give the same amount of fucks about those mothers as those assholes on Facebook with their “support the troops” memes who only talk about the troops and break out these stupid fucking memes to shame people who are discussing things that they don’t like, and yet none of that is stopping you from talking shit about mothers, specifically mothers who are celebrities, and the difficulties that many of them have faced and continue to face when raising their children. All because seeing Beyoncé celebrate her life, her success, and the fact that her family is about to grow with even more beautiful Black children for her to love and cherish in a world that does anything but love and cherish Black people of any age, has left you feeling salty as fuck and wanting to climb on the biggest soapbox you could find to let everyone know how much you don’t care about motherhood. Despite the fact that no one gives anything resembling a shit about you or what you think about motherhood in the first place.
(I also learned this past weekend that if and when you call out the New York Post on Twitter for their horribly-written op-eds…
Having a printing press doesn't make you a newspaper & it certainly doesn't make you a newspaper worth reading.— hellresidentNY (@hellresidentNY) February 18, 2017
In short: Shut the fuck up! https://t.co/Qiqcxd2gsk
…this will happen to you as a result.
Granted, I don’t know whether it really was the New York Post or one of its many readers/supporters. And I can’t entirely prove that me tweeting about the New York Post is what got me sent to Twitter jail for half a day, even though the timing of my being sent to Twitter jail is questionable and I certainly don’t indulge in the kind of cruel, harmful, and trollish behavior that Twitter should crack down on and prevent. But it sure is nice to know that speaking up in defense of Black women is what gets you placed on Twitter’s shit list.
Bullying/doxxing/harassing Black women or any non-famous woman of any ethnicity, however, and Twitter is just like:)
And then there’s Serena Williams, greatest
female athlete of all time. Who was asked to appear in this year’s Swimsuit Issue for Sports Illustrated.
(I could ask why she wasn’t on the cover and why it was given to Kate Upton for the third time, but, well…)
Despite the fact that Serena is not the first, second, or third female athlete to pose in little to no clothing for a magazine and look incredibly gorgeous while doing so, Serena choosing to do so got under the skin of yet another White woman who felt the need to question how a successful Black woman chose to express herself in the public eye.
A piece on why Serena Williams sabotages equality battle with soft-porn photo shoothttps://t.co/FTYrI6PZ5G— Sinéad Kissane (@sineadkissane) February 18, 2017
When an athlete like Serena goes from acing another Grand Slam to taking her clothes off for a magazine (just because the words ‘Sports’ and ‘Swimsuit’ are in the title, Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue doesn’t make it anything other than soft porn) it shows success doesn’t change some women’s desire to be validated for how they look.
In the behind-the-scenes video, Serena says: “I want people to come away with the fact that its okay to be comfortable in your body. I feel like its okay to look strong, to be sexy and to be a woman.”
Hold on Serena. So to look strong, sexy and to be a woman involves baring your butt and boobs? What happened to being “judged by our achievements and not by our gender” or was that way of thinking inconvenient for this kind of glamour photo-shoot?
Why does Serena feel the need to wear barely-there bikinis to “be a woman” when the best advertisement she gives of being a woman is the way she plays?
Maybe, she doesn’t want tennis to define her. It’s hard to forget her sassy Sports Illustrated front page cover a few years ago when she had one high-heeled foot draped over the arm-rest of a golden throne. I even liked (not really) the way she danced (terribly) in Beyoncé’s video Sorry.
But by baring (practically) all in this Swimsuit issue, Serena has loaded importance on her body parts rather than what her body enables her to do as a tennis player.
*Beyonce and Serena Williams living their lives.*— Maximillion Pegasus (@chidzhazenberry) February 19, 2017
Media outlets and white female journalists. pic.twitter.com/idfxO6OLlO
White people (women namely) critique Beyoncé and Serena because they can't co-opt their feminism because it celebrates their blackness.— Reggie Cunningham (@kidnoble) February 19, 2017
They're okay with Bey and Serena promoting womanhood as long as it is inclusive of whiteness.— Reggie Cunningham (@kidnoble) February 19, 2017
White privilege tells white women that everyone else's feminism should include them, but that they themselves can be exclusive.— Reggie Cunningham (@kidnoble) February 19, 2017
They're mad that Serena and Bey celebrate their culture of blackness because they themselves have no culture to celebrate but appropriation.— Reggie Cunningham (@kidnoble) February 19, 2017
The most offensive (in their eyes) phrase you can say to a white woman is "This ain't about/for you."— Reggie Cunningham (@kidnoble) February 19, 2017
Last time I checked the sworn enemy of Bing that is Google, this woman had absolutely nothing to say about Maria Sharapova or Anna Kournikova appearing in past editions of the Swimsuit Issue for Sports Illustrated. She had nothing to say about Sharapova or Kournikova needing to earn the respect of everyone around them with their (less-than-impressive) physical accomplishments on the tennis court and calling them out for needing to wear barely-there bikinis to get attention. But when Serena decides to do something to make herself feel sexy, and to remind the world once again how beautiful and impressive her physique is, and not just when using it to skillfully defeat her opponents, then it’s a problem. Enough for White women such as these to crack their knuckles before sitting down to hammer out another thinkpiece no one asked for about what Black women do and how they conduct themselves in a way they don’t understand or approve of.
(And again, let’s remember that when it comes to getting attention for accomplishments on the tennis court, Serena Williams’ record speaks for itself. Whereas Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova…they are clearly not giving Serena or even Venus Williams anything to worry about. And yet, they’re the ones who have Nike and other brands knocking on their doors with blank checks in hand, wanting them to represent their brands to the world. As to why that is…well, like I said before:)
I don’t recall too many people feeling the need to deconstruct Rosie The Riveter and point out that she’s no feminist icon and not someone for women to admire and look up to. No one seemed to have any problems with Rosie The Riveter as a whole. And yet, when Beyoncé struck a pose as Rosie The Riveter not too long ago, the sudden need to shoot her down and start looking for flaws in this iconography with microscopes, magnifying glasses, and fine-toothed combs became an absolute necessity.
Stop paying white women to write about black art.— Jenny Trout (@Jenny_Trout) February 19, 2017
Some of you really and truly need to understand and accept that the more you come after Black women and do your part to belittle them, insult them, and act as if they have no right to the pursuit of happiness (whether it’s harassing and bullying Leslie Jones to the point where she has to disappear from Twitter, or referring to Viola Davis as someone who isn’t ‘classically beautiful,’ or just simply getting angry and/or physically violent towards them when they refuse to respond to your catcalls as they walk down the street while minding their own business), the more that Black women are going to flourish and keep being successful and happy, and look damn good while doing it. You can either stand alongside them and show your support and appreciation, or you can move out of the way and keep your bullshit opinions to yourselves before you end up getting your feelings hurt.