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I Don't Know Who the F**k Jake Paul is But After This I Kinda Wanna Give Him a Good Slap

By Petr Knava | Social Media | August 11, 2017 |

By Petr Knava | Social Media | August 11, 2017 |

One of the pleasures of getting a little bit older is not being abreast of everything all the time. As I very slowly but irrevocably slip into irrelevance I take great comfort in the fact that irrelevance sometimes means not having to know, almost by default or osmosis, about every stupid fad. Like, I get a genuinely rewarding shot of dopamine when someone mentions something that is apparently fucking huge and I know absolutely nothing about it.

If it’s stupid, that is. Obviously.

Usually it is stupid.


All that is to say: I stumbled upon this video earlier today of some bloke called Jake Paul. I looked him up before watching the video. Just the basics. Face, job, that kinda thing. Apparently he’s a Social Media Star. Now, I don’t like to pre-judge. The fact that his hair looks like a larval stage Boris Johnson should not be enough to get my ire up. The fact that his face resembles the unholy laboratory splicing of the genes of every entitled posh twat from Oxford with every toxic douche frat bro from [name an American college] should not be reason enough to get worked up.

The fact that he has two first names as his full name… Well, maybe.


I shouldn’t want to slap him just for those things.

For this video though? Well…



Petr Knava lives in London and plays music

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Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.