Another April Fool’s Day has come and gone. And when it comes to April Fool’s Day, especially on the Internet, people become even more paranoid and cynical than they already are, and make it a point to announce how they refuse to believe anything they read until April 2nd. And considering the ridiculously fake headlines such as this, this, and also this (that last one, unfortunately, isn’t an April Fool’s Day joke, even though I wish it were) that causes people to have miniature heart attacks before remembering what day it is, along with people using the day as an excuse to make ‘jokes’ that wouldn’t make a roomful of fifth-graders laugh, such a pronouncement may be necessary.
Paul Feig, director of Bridesmaids, The Heat, Spy, and the remake/reboot/re-imagining of Ghostbusters that pissed off many a Ghostbusters fan and Men’s Rights Activist who acted as if every original copy of Ghostbusters on DVD/Blu-ray/Ultraviolet (whatever the hell that is)/VHS/Laserdisc/HD-DVD for those who refuse to let the format die as they listen to Ray Parker Jr.’s Ghostbusters Theme on their Microsoft Zune was going to be removed from their homes and from Amazon.com and be completely wiped out of existence, decided to make his own contribution to April Fool’s Day with this one tweet:
Much like these products from ThinkGeek that were only devised as April Fool’s Day jokes, all this tweet did was make many people wish that this joke was a reality and made everyone’s imaginations go into overdrive as they wondered what could’ve been.
So here is where I do a whole bunch of fan-casting on who I’d like to see in a remake of Back To The Future with an all-female cast:
Marty Marie McFly: Bianca Lawson
Because after all these years (many of which we spent laughing at/trying to forget the God-awful Jamaican accent that Joss Whedon actually thought was a good fucking idea when she played Kendra on Buffy The Vampire Slayer), she could still pass for a teenager in high school or college. See for yourself:
At this very moment, Beyonce is concocting a spell that will allow her to steal her immortality so she can absorb it herself.
Or if you insist on hiring an actual teenager to play Marie McFly, we can also go with Rowan Blanchard from Girl Meets World.
Dr. Emmett Brown/’Doc’ Brown: Leslie Jones
Part of the controversy surrounding the Ghostbusters remake was that every other character with the exception of Leslie’s was allowed to be a brilliant and accomplished scientist and yet Leslie’s character Patty was an MTA worker. There’s obviously nothing wrong with Patty’s line of work but this seemed like a repeat of what had happened with Winston Zeddemore in the original film (much to the disappointment of Ernie Hudson), but it would still be awesome to see Leslie finally get to play a scientific genius who can still make us all laugh.
I’m also open to seeing Chris Hemsworth play Doc Brown as well. As long as Doc Brown gets to be brilliant and yet be as monumentally stupid as he was in Ghostbusters. (Bonus points if he replaces Einstein the dog with Mike Cat, his cat)
Lorraine McFly: Sarah Shahi
George Georgia McFly: Amy Acker
Because they both have pretty good chemistry, comic timing, and also because I still haven’t recovered from how things ended between the two of them on Person Of Interest. I’m not made of stone, people!
Biff Tannen: Rachel Bloom
As many of us have seen her do on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Bloom has no problem playing a character who, depending on the severity of the situation, gives little to no fucks about who her words and actions might hurt. So seeing her go full villain would be an interesting thing to see.
And if she isn’t willing and able, I’d also go with Martha Plimpton, for all of the reasons listed above. And plus, I really loved her on Raising Hope.
Principal Strickland: Janet Hubert
Because as she showed us as Aunt Viv: Original Flavor on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, she had a zero-tolerance policy when it came to taking other people’s shit. And it would also give her something else to do besides talk shit about all of her former castmates to the press.
Who would you cast in an all-female reboot of Back To The Future? Have at it in the Comments.