Women Made A Hollywood Cop Movie, and Didn't Have To Mention Their Periods Once

By Emily Cutler | Videos | May 14, 2015 |

By Emily Cutler | Videos | May 14, 2015 |

A couple of things happened while I was watching this trailer. First it occurred to me that Dakota Fanning is the last child actor from the past 20 years that I expected could scare the crap out of me. And second I had to watch twice to realize that someone forgot to add the dudes.

Granted Nate Parker plays Elizabeth Banks’ partner and Common plays the father of the missing three- year- old. But those are both supporting roles. The lead detective, the suspects and the people of interest are all women. And the director and writers are all women. It’s a movie made by and starring women yet appears to be geared towards both men and women. Like just a regular movie!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Listen, up- and- coming director Amy Berg and beloved screenwriter Nicole Holofcener, women can have cop movies, but they need to abide by some rules.

1.) It must star Sandra Bullock.

2.) It must deal with and resolve the female detective’s intimacy issues (See also all of the above). Because:

A.) Women who become cops clearly must have intimacy issues.
B.) No one wants to watch women solve murders and stuff.

It’s like you guys have completely disregarded the basic, well- established binary that men do things and women talk about how those things make them feel. What’s next? Movies about women being real people and having lives that don’t revolve around the men they know? Comedies where a group of women get themselves into trouble on some wacky adventure? Comic book movies with more than one female superhero?

You better pull way back. No one wants that kind of nonsense.