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Today's Brain Stabber: Kate Mulgrew Tries to Tell Us The Sun Revolves Around the Earth, NASA Is Made of Conspiracies, And God Likes Us Better Than Aliens

By Vivian Kane | Videos | April 7, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Videos | April 7, 2014 |

Normally I wouldn’t waste your time with a “documentary” (I can’t even write that word here with a straight face) about geocentrism and how god loves us more than aliens cause he put us on Earth instead of Venus. But this one is different, because it’s narrated by the Space Captain-turned-prison inmate with a voice made of pure sex, Kate Mulgrew.

To be totally fair, Kate Mulgrew is not a scientist. She is an actor, looking for a paycheck. Of course, once you reach a certain status (like the status of having joined the ranks of Star Trek captains, maybe), one would think you’d choose your work wisely and not lend your voice to ridiculous projects that will only bring mockery to your name.You know, in a perfect world.

Question: can it still be called a documentary if it’s based on nonsense? Can we invent a new genre and call it a nonsensementary? Good, yes, let’s go with that.

As an extra special side note, this nonsensementary was funded in large part by “Catholic” writer Robert Sungenis, of “The Holocaust didn’t really happen cause where’s the proof, huh?” fame. I put Catholic in quotations, by the way, because THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAS ASKED HIM TO STOP CALLING HIMSELF ONE.

Via Raw Story.

Vivian Kane’s favorite captain will alway be Picard because he would only narrate documentaries about how awesome Ian McKellan is.