Make-up is a modern art form created to force women to conform to patriarchal beauty norms. But while men were busy with their sports drinking and car talk and fart jokes, women (and drag queens) evolved this silly skill of paints and pencils into a form of shapeshifting sorcery.
Behold: Sailor J (A.K.A. JJ Smith), who will teach you how to contour so you might leach the souls of your dead lovers, convince men you are the pterodactyl of their dreams, and snatch up their wallets. (Wage gap and all, they owe us.)
Enjoy more of Sailor J’s unique beauty tutorials on Youtube. There she has the only Thanksgiving make-up tutorial you need, because going “native-inspired” means going as a culture-appropriating jackass.
Header image pulled from Sailor J’s Facebook page.