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B v S.jpg

The New 'Batman v Superman' Teaser Proves These Guys Maybe Don't Think Things Through

By Emily Cutler | Videos | January 25, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Videos | January 25, 2016 |

So Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice still isn’t out yet, huh? This is one of those movies that’s so anticipated, the waiting itself becomes an event. And with all due respect to the Zack Snyder vehicle, I’m not sure if this film will live up to the hype as well as some other recent ones. Why do I feel that way?

Because the teasers seem intent on explaining that “Yeah, Superman and Batman totally have beef for very real, valid reasons.” That clip is in response to the Superman-Hates-Batman-Because explanation that was dropped a couple of weeks ago.

Quick story: last year, after suffering through several minutes of me play arguing with my sister about how I am very tall (I’m going to play in the NBA. Hook, hook), my exasperated niece finally chastised us, “Guys! You’re both big, OK? You’re both big.” And I’ll be goddamned if that’s not the only thing I could think while watching both Bat and Sups sound off about how the other is the threat.

Guys! You’re both fatherless man-children with tragic pasts and fantastic powers! You both clearly care about saving the innocent, but maybe accidentally blow up some shit while doing it! There’s no reason to fight!

Which is why I’m so concerned about this line of marketing. We know that they’re both wrong to want to fight the other one. We as the audience have already seen the movies where we establish their goodness and motivation. We believe that they both want to help us so we’ve got no investment in their fight. We’re not interested in the why, we’re only interested in the how. Is it going to be a massively fun fight to watch? Is there going to be a legitimate sense of danger? Will it be a beautifully choreographed battle or a CGI clusterfuck?

And more importantly, every time Bruce or Clark go on a tear about the other being the real asshole, we get less of Lex Luther explaining why he’s a bad guy. That’s the only exposition I’m interested in.

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