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How the Obi-Wan Vs. Darth Vader Duel Should Have Looked: Watch the Best Damn 'Star Wars' Edit Of All Time

By Petr Knava | Videos | May 9, 2019 |

By Petr Knava | Videos | May 9, 2019 |


When this fragile, beautiful planet of ours finally succumbs to capitalism’s endless appetite for its finite resources; when the rivers are choked with the corpses of a million fish and the bleached corals stare lifelessly and accusingly out from the reefs; when Keith Richar—… Well, no. I mean Keef will still be alright. He’ll probably be grinding up the corals and arranging them into nice neat lines.

But when the rest of humanity has finally shuffled off the universal stage and vanished back into the starless void from whence it came we will leave behind a world brought to its knees, with millennia of convalescence needed before it remembers what it once felt like to be brimming with wonderful, varied, effervescent life.

Then, only then, after aeons free of humanity’s poisonous grip have passed—only then once the fever has well and truly subsided may Gaia be able to reflect without flinching and say to herself:

‘What in the everloving fuck was that?!’

And the Universe will shrug and say, ‘I know, right? Don’t look at me. They just came up out of nowhere!’

And Gaia will respond with, ‘Yeah. Like, yeah! Did they even do anything that was good?!’

And the Universe, who happens to be a massive nerd, will say, ‘I mean. That OG Star Wars trilogy was pretty dope.’

And Gaia will say: ‘Yeah, I guess so. But damn didn’t they love telling themselves that. They kept rewatching it and remixing it and recontextualising it and adding bits and taking bits away and it drove me nuts!’

And the Universe will say: ‘Yeah, that’s true. But. Have you seen this one? It came out twelve years or so before The Fall. I saved it. Check this out.’

And Gaia will say, ‘Oh shit! Nice one, YouTube channel FXitinPost! You did a Good Thing once, before your species was wiped out by its own greed and hubris! Play that shit again, Universe!’

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Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.

Header Image Source: YouTube (FXitinPost)