Last night on Kimmel, in addition to bad-mouthing his housekeeper who keeps breaking vacuum cleaners, ripping off Costco, and being a total diva by asking a random NBC employee to get him a pair of Converse All Stars, Shepard spoke of the insane wedding that he and Kristen Bell threw two weeks ago. The two went to the courthouse in Beverly Hills (or what we in the rest of America call Fancy Town) and put their wedding on the TAXPAYERS DIME.
How much did their extravagant event cost? $142, including gas.
Un-f*cking-believable. Do you know how man dinners a family of five on a road trip could buy at Burger King with that? (Four, actually. It’s more expensive than you think, and a terrible value, at that). $142 in this economy goes a long way. You could almost get two Amazon Prime subscriptions, and that’s a lot of free shipping for needy people that need it. I know that Bell and Shepard are big animal right’s activists, and for $142, they could probably get a dog half-neutered (they may need to launch a Kickstarter to get the other testicle removed). For $142, you could probably pay a homeless guy to to send his regrets for not being able to make it to Justin Timberlake’s wedding. Jay-Z and Beyonce could’ve added 10 extra orchids to the 50,000 they flew in for their wedding. Think of the little people, Dax.
This is the wedding cake that Dax and Kristen’s friends made, presumably because they’d busted their budget and had no money left for cake.
Agreed. Definitely the worst wedding. You can’t spend your way into your wife’s heart, Dax. $142 might afford you a pair of Converse sneakers, but they will not buy you true love.
I bet they even went to Starbucks afterwards and bought THE VENTIS. Jesus, America really is the land of waste.
Here’s the interview, in three parts.