An unreformable, democracy-crushing institution set up along neoliberal economic lines to protect French and German industry that occasionally pays lip service to progressive social causes while doggedly pursuing economically regressive ones—suffice it to say I’m not a huge fan of the EU. Regardless, when it comes to Brexit, two things are manifestly self-evident:
1) The vote was never expected to pass. It was a power play called by an ego-driven David Cameron seeking to settle internal disputes within the Tory party. Emergent far-right forces, both within the Tory party and without, jumped on the opportunity afforded by Brexit to try and move Britain even further along the path of xenophobia and economic deregulation.
2) Theresa May, unelected, incompetent, and long-standing champion of punitive measures against immigrants and the poor, has shown an unbelievable dearth of political skill and character in her handling of the mess created by Cameron. Watching her struggle to project an image of stability and competence while all around her her party disintegrates into internecine squabbles reminiscent of the late hours of an aristocratic country house pissup in which all the psychopathic Lords and Ladies bicker over how best to humiliate the poor staff made to stay up all night to wait on their bloated, ruddy-cheeked, cocaine-fuelled masters is one hell of a trip. One side want to make it rain flaming large denomination bills out of the upper windows, bellowing at the plebs below that whatever they can scavenge from the charred remains can be their tip; the other just want a good old-fashioned game of ‘hunt the poor’ on the large grounds of the estate.
Make no mistake: Theresa May and her cabinet are a zombie government with no mandate and no authority. Ministers quit faster than the press can learn their names or past roles. Last week the government was found in contempt of Parliament for declining to publish the official legal advice on the Brexit deal that they have spent two years getting to. The advice basically said, ‘This deal is dogshit. Are you drunk right now?’ In the centuries of the dusty history of the House of Commons, no government has ever been found in contempt of Parliament before Theresa May and her Tories in 2018. They have of course been in contempt of the British people since the moment they took power, presiding over the longest squeeze in living standards since the Napoleonic Wars, a racist ‘hostile environment’ for immigrants that has led to British citizens of Caribbean descent being deported to countries they have never even set foot in, and the decimation and privatisation of one of the country’s greatest institutions—the National Health Service. To fully list the woes that the Tories have inflicted upon Britain is to end up curled in the foetal position on the floor, weeping tears of rage, one hand clutching a bottle of single malt and the other a copy of Marx’s ‘Kapital,’ so let us just be content with this: a Tory Brexit, started as a vanity project and now proving itself a shambolic, poorly planned, socially and economically poisonous bag of pigeon vomit, will go down in history as one of the most spectacular political failures of modern history.
In other words, this video released yesterday, starring Andy Serkis as his iconic Gollum as Theresa May, is just plain insulting. To Gollum. Gollum was a creature seduced and corrupted by a great and ancient evil. His soul enslaved by the One Ring, poor, wretched Gollum never stood a chance. He wasn’t actively, voluntarily evil. Gollum ain’t no Theresa May. It should be noted also that Gollum, despite all the very valid critiques that could be levelled at him, actually got shit done.
Header Image Source: YouTube