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Don't Give Them Any Ideas, Conan. 'Arbitrary Judgement Lineup' Could Definitely Be A Show

By Emily Cutler | Videos | June 4, 2015 |

By Emily Cutler | Videos | June 4, 2015 |

I’ve said before that I don’t watch a lot of reality TV. The Real Housewives/ Kardashian variety seem like a very poorly made soap opera, and the competition shows always get overwhelmed with “big” personalities (assholes).

But there’s also one other element that I can’t handle: the overly complicated elimination rules. The one reality show I do watch Top Chef is very easy. Three chefs are on the top, three chefs are on the bottom. One of the chefs from the top wins each show, and someone from the bottom loses. Someone recently tried to explain the rules of The Voice to me, and I’m still trying to figure it out. The contestants sing and the judges turn their chairs around and then the contestants can pick which team they’re on but they have to sing against each other but another judge can steal someone and then you spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance and there are guest coaches but they don’t have any say in which contestant goes home and then someone get awarded Pharrell’s hat, is that how it goes? Wait before you answer that question,

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Which is to say, I believe wholeheartedly that this could be a reality competition.

Somewhere a CBS executive is workshopping this show. His only note is “add more poor people.”

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