The MTV Movie Awards happened last night. Did you know that? Because I didn’t, because like everyone else over the age of 16, I was watching Game of Thrones and Mad Men, and guess what? In Conan O’Brien’s opening — which featured 50 legit celebrity cameos — there were no celebs from Mad Men or Game of Thrones.
That said, he did manage to get nearly everyone else on the planet, and while it didn’t make for a funny opening, it did make for a star-f*cky one. He might have had more success, actually, reenacting the final scene in last night’s Game of Thrones with these 50 celebs.
Not that any of you give a damn, but here were the winners. You might also note that none of the winners were actually in the celeb-filled opening.
MOVIE OF THE YEAR — The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
BEST FIGHT — The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug — Orlando Bloom and Evangeline Lilly vs. Orcs
BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE — Jennifer Lawrence - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
BEST MALE PERFORMANCE — Josh Hutcherson - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
BEST KISS — Emma Roberts, Jennifer Aniston and Will Poulter - We’re the Millers
BEST SHIRTLESS PERFORMANCE— Zac Efron - That Awkward Moment
BEST VILLAIN — Mila Kunis - Oz The Great and Powerful
BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE — Jonah Hill - The Wolf of Wall Street
BEST ON-SCREEN TRANSFORMATION — Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club
BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE — Will Poulter - We’re the Millers
BEST SCARED-AS-S**T PERFORMANCE — Brad Pitt - World War Z
BEST ON-SCREEN DUO — Vin Diesel and Paul Walker - Fast & Furious 6
#WTF MOMENT — Leonardo DiCaprio - The Wolf of Wall Street. Leonardo DiCaprio’s iconic portrayal of excessive Wall Street player Jordan Belfort takes a turn for the insane when he takes his Lamborghini for a spin.
BEST MUSICAL MOMENT — Backstreet Boys, Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen and Craig Robinson -This is the End
BEST CAMEO PERFORMANCE — Rihanna - This is the End
BEST HERO — Henry Cavill as Clark Kent -Man of Steel