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All New 'Hobbit' Trailer Looks Amazing. No, Seriously.

By Joanna Robinson | Videos | November 4, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Videos | November 4, 2013 |

I have many many thoughts and feelings on this whole Hobbit enterprise. I expressed just a few sassy gay Thranduil-related ones this morning. But I should have waited because here’s an all new trailer with a TON of footage we hadn’t seen yet and I’m sorry, perhaps these are the only good three minutes of the next film, but they are undeniably good. Well, less Evangeline, Radagast and that dratted White Orc. Let’s call it 2.5 good minutes.

The trailer starts off with Bard The Bowman (Luke Evans) reciting “The King Beneath The Mountains.” Nerd alert moment. If Peter Jackson is going to use Tolkein (as he should) why is he bothering to monkey only slightly with the order of the lines? Why monkey at all? Do you think Jackson’s version makes more sense? I think it makes not a bit of difference. So why, I repeat, would he mess with it at all. It ain’t broke. Here, for reference, is the original:

The King beneath the mountains,
The King of carven stone,
The lord of silver fountains
Shall come into his own!

His crown shall be upholden,
His harp shall be restrung,
His halls shall echo golden
To songs of yore re-sung.

The woods shall wave on mountains
And grass beneath the sun;
His wealth shall flow in fountains
And the rivers golden run.

The streams shall run in gladness,
The lakes shall shine and burn,
All sorrow fail and sadness
At the Mountain-king’s return!

It looks like the residents of Dale are going with a Welsh accent? That’s fun. The middle of the trailer is packed to the brim with spiders, Elven squinting, Evangeline Lilly’s Parkour-Fu and many a bow being drawn. Then, of course, we end with some good old fashioned Cumberbatchin’. So strap in, load up on Haflings’ Leaf and enjoy. This might not be as bad as we feared.