Twitter Reacts to the Bowling Green Massacre, A Mass Shooting Kellyanne Conway Completely F**king Made Up
Relative to the the other 12 days of Donald Trump’s administration, yesterday afternoon and evening was a quiet-ish one. A former Norwegian Prime Minister was detained at Dulles, because he once visited Iran. The House voted to overturn a rule restricting gun sales to the mentally ill (what POSSIBLE upside is there to that, politically or otherwise?), UN Ambassador Nikki Haley condemned Russia for its attacks on the Ukraine (that’s good news!), and a lot of Republicans like John McCain had to clean up Trump’s mess in Australia. But I don’t think Trump signed any new executive orders, and it quieted down enough that a lot of us were able to, like, watch Riverdale for an hour.
(As I write this, however, Trump is in the middle of another nonsensical Twitter screed railing against the “paid” protestors around the country.)
Of course, there was also Kellyanne Conway, who last night cited a completely made-up mass shooting to justify the Muslim ban. No, I’m not kidding. She just made something up called the “Bowling Green Massacre.”
KellyAnne says most don't know about the 2 Iraqis behind Bowling Green Massacre cause it didn't get covered. It literally never happened. pic.twitter.com/DKlecc3Rya— Yashar (@yashar) February 3, 2017
What Conway is referring to were two Iraqi refugees who were arrested and accused of conspiring to blow up American service members in Iraq with weapons of mass destruction. They were arrested before any violent acts were actually committed. However, after their arrest, Obama slowed the entrance of Iraqi refugees while they worked to beef up the vetting process, which meant going back and re-vetting hundreds of Iraqi refugees and applying a stricter vetting process on those coming in. There was never actually a formal ban of Iraqi refugees, but the vetting process slowed the admittance of refugees to a crawl, which meant that for six months, it was tantamount to a ban.
All the same, there was never a Bowling Green Massacre. That didn’t stop Kellyanne Conway from making it up, and for a few minutes anyway, Twitter felt kind of normal again: They were making fun of the blathering evil of Conway, who continues to blow her credibility with ridiculous alternative facts. The healing powers of mockery!
Here were some of the best responses:
It's almost like Republicans WANT another Bowling Green massacre. https://t.co/8wWUdPa3ZC— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) February 3, 2017
Finding these Bowling Green Massacre jokes to be a little too soon. Out of respect, we should wait until it takes place.— Justin Shanes (@justinshanes) February 3, 2017
Saddened and sickened by Frederick Douglass' silence surrounding the Bowling Green Massacre.— Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) February 3, 2017
I lost my cousin-in-law at the Bowling Green Massacre.— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) February 3, 2017
The Bowling Green Massacre was a very serious massacre that did an amazing job of massacring and is getting recognized more and more— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) February 3, 2017
I was wounded in the Bowling Green Massacre, but Frederick Douglass carried me out and healed my injuries with his phoenix tears— Samantha Galasso (@Samberryy) February 3, 2017
My friend died a the Bowling Green Massacre I think about him ever day pic.twitter.com/vVjiM9Rqyj— AsterixKO (@EmperorofChairs) February 3, 2017
It's not just the Bowling Green Massacre. Refugees were also behind the Narnia Bombings, the shootings in Atlantis and the Midsomer Murders pic.twitter.com/PW1u9Md0s2— David Schneider (@davidschneider) February 3, 2017
There's only one director who could properly depict the relentless carnage of the Bowling Green Massacre and that's Mel Gibson.— billy eichner (@billyeichner) February 3, 2017
Leave it to liberals to belittle the tragedy of the imaginary victims of The Bowling Green Massacre. #AlternativeLivesMatter— Tom the Dancing Bug (@RubenBolling) February 3, 2017
Still can't shake what happened in Bowling Green, y'all.— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) February 3, 2017
I was a student at BGSU when the Bowling Green Massacre didn't happen. I'll never be able to not forget what I didn't see that day.🙏— Jim Osborne (@ozzy4873) February 3, 2017
Mark Wahlberg screaming at his agent, “I WANT A FAHCKIN' BOWLING GREEN MASSACRE SCRIPT YESTERDAY!"— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) February 3, 2017
There are a lot of great books about the Bowling Green Massacre, but I think Stephen Glass's was my favorite.— Zack Handlen (@zhandlen) February 3, 2017
"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I need TP! TP for my bung-hole! I come from Lake Titicaca!" https://t.co/fiRLEcWZKS— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) February 3, 2017
Next week Kellyanne Conway will announce that the US is launching air strikes in Agrabah, because it's time Jafar was brought to justice— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) February 3, 2017
BOWLING GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) February 3, 2017
A senior advisor to the President invented a fake mass shooting today, but Congress made a real one more likely. Remember this and vote. https://t.co/tQBWdfNz2f— Cody Keenan (@codykeenan) February 3, 2017
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