By Jodi Smith | | January 5, 2018 |
By Jodi Smith | | January 5, 2018 |
I’m serious.
I want to explain to all of you what is happening. I want to guide you through this glorious insanity unfolding before our very eyes. I will try my best, kids.
Forbes shared on January 3rd that Mount Saint Helens in Washington state was rumbling and was the source of forty earthquakes since New Year’s Day. OF COURSE Mt. St. Helens has a Twitter account, so they retweeted Forbes.
Thanks for the shoutout @Forbes https://t.co/Arigi8oVoK
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) January 4, 2018
Even before this, Mt. St. Helens had beef with Mt. Ranier and Mt. Baker:
We stratovolcanoes are the highest mountains in the state of Washington… besides @MtStHelensWA because he's a loser.
— Mt. Baker (@MtBakerWA) November 17, 2017
Implode on yourself #AtLeastIFinish https://t.co/8wE70yXl5K
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) November 17, 2017
If you think #ClimateChange is fake, I've got some frozen lava to sell you.
— Mount Rainier (@MountRainierWA) December 29, 2017
Because we know you can’t spew out the hot stuff https://t.co/8gOonjM1dE
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) December 31, 2017
Lake Superior ALSO has a Twitter account and was pulled into the mountainous pissing contest. Or jumped in on its own?
I’M BACK BITCHES https://t.co/Arigi8oVoK
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) January 4, 2018
Since when do mountains have fingers to tweet? 🙄 https://t.co/mAduHeJydP
— Lake Superior (@LakeSuperior) January 5, 2018
You’re a lake 🤔 A weak ass lake at best. #WannabeOcean https://t.co/S4hrPgzEPl
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) January 5, 2018
Followers, I don’t have time to deal with this little bump of land.
— Lake Superior (@LakeSuperior) January 5, 2018
Can you all handle this for me? https://t.co/pbGTJTvLlD
Water cuts through mountains over time with a steady and unwavering persistence. Mountains don’t stand a chance to @LakeSuperior.#rivers #glaciers #snowmelt 💦â„ï¸ðŸ’¦
— Ed (@edgerwood) January 5, 2018
And stay out of this @MtBakerWA, aka @MtStHelensWA’s little sister. ðŸ¤ðŸ¤«ðŸ¤
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?
Sorry, couldn’t hear you, I’m busy making snow so kids can make snow angels and go sledding.
— Lake Superior (@LakeSuperior) January 5, 2018
What’s @MtStHelensWA going to do, blow her too so people can make ash angels? https://t.co/IBhOz0gDK8
EVERYBODY forgets about me.
— Glacier Peak (@GlacierPeak) January 4, 2018
It’s a poor baby ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ https://t.co/R2nlMIuT4q
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) January 4, 2018
Don't tempt @MtStHelensWA. That volcano's crazy enough to blow again. https://t.co/WQKJb3ZURd
— Glacier Peak (@GlacierPeak) January 3, 2018
Washingtonians and Oregonians, remember it is much safer over here than by earth pimple @MtStHelensWA. pic.twitter.com/j6nckIGVAf
— Lake Superior (@LakeSuperior) January 5, 2018
I think I need to lie down.