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"You Just Murdered Joy" and the Rest of the Best Lines from Wednesday Night's Television Comedies

By Dustin Rowles | TV | October 6, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | October 6, 2011 |

Up All Night. Grade: B-. Christina Applegate and Will Arnett is so good in this show, I just wish the writing was up to their level because “Up All Night” could be one of the funniest shows on TV. Still, I’d give the parent’s “New Car” plotline a B+, because those two genuinely look like they’re having a great time and it’s wildly infectious. I wanna A-Team van. I think the DeLorean would be a GREAT family vehicle. Think of all the places you go! Reagan and Chris could also teach Phil Dunphy a thing or two about being the good kind of lame parents: Salt n’ Peppa? Spin Doctors? Billy Idol? Absolutely. Unfortunately, the Maya Rudolph B-plot suffers because Maya Rudolph’s character is still crazy annoying and it’s dragging the entire show down.

  • “The A-Team Van, that thing would be so safe for Amy. It could take machine gun fire.”

    Suburgatory. Grade: B. Not as good as the pilot, but very endearing. I don’t think of myself as someone who likes “cute shows,” but with this week’s “The New Girl” and now this, I’m beginning to warm up to cute. Jane Levy rocks this show, and the daughter from “Weeds” is pretty great, too.

  • “I get those constant invitations to dinner every morning. I’m running out of ways to say no.” // “Have you tried running her over with your car?”

  • “If neighbors don’t look out for other neighbors it could lead to baby neighbors.”

  • (Tudyk, referring to his grill) “If she wasn’t made of steel, I’d take her as a lover.”

    Modern Family Grade: C. I feel like we’ve seen variations on these plot lines already. Hasn’t someone else on the show already sold wrapping paper? And isn’t Claire’s stop sign subplot reminiscent of the subplot where she tried to find the speeding vehicle? Gloria does something silly; Jay tries to teach Manny a lesson only to get schooled by Manny; and once again, Mitchell and Cam bicker over something inconsequential. It’s all well-worn territory. That said, the show remains genial, there are a few good lines, and I liked the A Streetcar Named Desire gag. It’s definitely watchable, but it’s getting both a little too broad and way too repetitive.

  • “When I get home, I’m going to scrub this place like a crime scene, which it is because you just murdered joy.”

  • “Change doesn’t just happen. It is forged by empowered women like me, Norma Rae, and the lady in The Blind Side.

  • “Blind side was the black kid who played who played tight end.” // “Offensive line.” // “Sorry, African American kid.”

    Happy Endings Grade: B+. Solid episode, and I appreciate that “Happy Endings” features more than a diner and a living room setting, per the usual sitcom conventions. There were three great highlights: The Cocktail sequence in the food truck; Brad’s obsession with women’s clothing (particularly that dress sequence) and, of course, Jane driving up and telling the girl to get in her van. “Up All Night” should’ve worked a rape van joke into its A-plot last night.

  • “How did you not know that was a dress?” // “I had my suspicions, but the price is right and Daddy likes a deep tuck.”

  • “Which one should I wear? ‘Put me to bed,’ or ‘I pooped”?

  • “Get in the van.”

  • “Boom! Rent. Eat it. Wait, don’t. It’s money. The only thing dirtier is airplane ice.”

  • “So? We can just go to the airport, get some Tom Clancy novels and get hammered.”

    Based Only on the Images, Which Looks Better: Snow White and the Huntsmen or Tarsem Singh's Snow White | iMiss Steve Jobs

    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.