"Yes, I Want a Whisker Basket." The Best Moments from "Up All Night," "Suburgatory," "Modern Family," and "Happy Endings"

By Dustin Rowles | TV | October 20, 2011 |

Up All Night. Grade: A-. The “Up All Night” origins story was brilliant, and highlighted all the important touchstones of birthing: 1) That goddamn birthing video from the 1970s that everyone seems to watch; 2) the realization that one might poop themselves while giving birth, which no one seems to know until they’re pregnant; 3) how fucking terrifying “that area” is during childbirth, 4) the insipid birthing plan that felt so monumental right up until the birth; and 5) how none of it matters a shred when you hear the baby cry. Bonus: Christina Applegate’s tearful rendition of Live’s “Lightning Crashes.” Solid episode, and really, a must-watch for expecting parents, if only for the lighter side of a heavy experience.

(On witnessing a birthing video) “Oh My God. OH MY GOD. It’s like hair coming out of hair. Turn if off!” — Reagan

Suburgatory Grade: B-. “Suburgatory” has found it’s groove, and unfortunately, that groove isn’t all that groovy. It’s a decent show, but it’s fairly conservative creatively, more like an 8:30 show between “The Middle” and “Modern Family” than the show I’d hoped it’d be, which is more of a 9:30 comedy in an 8:30 slot.

“Drugstore makeup. Tragic.” — Dahlia

“Tragic is loading yourself up with so much mascara you can’t blink.” — Tessa

Modern Family. Grade: C. A nice Phil moment there in the end, and a sweet voice-over from Jay, but a really mediocre episode otherwise.

“You know how in a fairy tale there’s always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that except you don’t wake up in a castle — you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.” — Phil

Happy Endings. Grade: B+ Fun episode, as always, particularly the Max and Brad subplot with Larry Wilmore. I hear there is a growing contingent of Max/Brad shippers. Also, who’d have thought that the show would get so much mileage out of Max’s 1989 limousine?

“Everyone knows ironing is bad for your clothes.” — Max

“‘Molly’ is a fat ankles name.” — Brad

“”I’m also visualizing a romantic old fashioned gentleman. The kind of guy who will buy you flowers and dinner, and look at you during sex.” — Penny